


Nameless

by kristen423



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 15:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 72,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2512247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristen423/pseuds/kristen423
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU.  Everyone in the world is born with the name of their soulmate on their wrist.  Everyone except Dean Winchester.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own anything related to Supernatural.

"John! John, wake up!" Mary said loudly as she shook her husband, trying to get him out of his deep sleep.

"Whatsgoinon?" John asked sleepily.

"I need to go to the hospital. My water broke. He's coming!"

John, who was suddenly much more awake and alert, jumped out of bed to help his wife out of bed and out to the car.

"Did you grab the bag?" Mary asked as she took deep breaths to try to calm herself down.

"Shit. Be right back," John said before running back into the house. Seconds later, the bag was in the back seat and they were off to the hospital.

John pulled up to the emergency room, where the staff immediately helped Mary out of the car and into the hospital. Not long after, John was at Mary's bedside, talking to her and trying to keep her calm.

After fourteen long hours, their son, Dean, was born. The doctor carefully placed Dean into Mary's waiting arms.

"He's finally here, John," Mary said, not taking her eyes off of her son.

"I know, baby. He's beautiful."

"Can we take your son for just a moment? We just want to get him cleaned up," one of the nurses asked after a few minutes. Mary reluctantly handed her son over to the nurses, but her eyes never left Dean. The nurses took Dean so they could get his measurements and get him all cleaned up.

"He's absolutely perfect," Mary said, finally looking back at John.

John quickly wiped away the tears from his own eyes and looked at his wife. "Just wait until his soulmate gets to meet him."

Mary sighed. "But then I'm going to have to let him go."

"You're going to have to let him go sometime, Mary. At least we have a long time until that happens."

"I still don't want to ever let him go," Mary said again.

Just then John and Mary noticed that the doctor had come back into the room and was looking at Dean. Mary immediately started to worry that something was wrong with her son.

"I'm sure it's nothing," John said reassuringly.

"But what if something's wrong?"

"Nothing's going to be wrong, Mary. I promise," John said, hoping that that was the case. He truly couldn't imagine how having something wrong with Dean would affect him, let alone Mary.

The doctor walked over with the nurses. One of the nurses gave Dean back to Mary. "We need to discuss some things," the doctor said and Mary was sure that she felt her heart drop.

"What's wrong with Dean?" Mary asked quietly.

"Nothing's wrong, exactly. At least not medically," the doctor added. "But it seems that Dean doesn't have a name."

"What do you mean he doesn't have a name?" John asked quickly. Mary on the other hand, was already trying to see Dean's wrist, and sure enough, just like the doctor said, there was no name on Dean's wrist. Mary felt the tears well up in her eyes. This couldn't be happening.

"I have no explanation for it, but it appears that your son doesn't have a name."

"What's that gonna mean for Dean?" John asked, noticing that Mary couldn't seem to bring herself to ask the doctor any questions.

"I really don't know. A name may show up later, but I don't really know. I've never heard of anything happening before. But as far as I can tell, Dean's completely fine otherwise," the doctor explained.

John didn't know what to think. Here was his beautiful son who didn't have a name on his wrist. Everyone else on the planet had a name on their wrist that corresponded to his or her soulmate. John stared down on his own wrist. He had know that he was going to be with Mary since he was able to read, but here was his son, who as of right now looked like he was going to be alone for most of his life.

"There's gotta be something you can do, doc," John pleaded. "Anything."

The doctor sighed. "There's nothing I can do. We just don't know that much about the names, and as far as we know, Dean is the only person without one. I'm really sorry Mr. Winchester, but there's nothing I can do."

"So my son's going to just be alone forever? That's what it's going to be?" John asked, starting to get angrier, although he wasn't sure if he was mad at the doctor or if he was just mad at God and the universe.

"I'm really sorry, Mr. Winchester. I really am, and if there was anything I could do for you, anything at all, I would. But all I can say is that we're just going to have to wait and see what happens."

"Great. Just great."

"John," Mary said, quietly. "It's going to be ok."

"But Mary—"

"John, Dean is healthy, that's what matters, right? We'll get through this. Dean will, too."

John sighed. Mary was right, even if he didn't want to admit it.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean was now three years old and nothing had changed. He still didn't have a name and the doctor's still had no explanation for why he didn't have one. John had insisted on getting an opinion from every doctor so they could get to the bottom of it. Mary, on the other hand, was just happy that her son was alive and healthy. After all, that was more important than having a name. But she had to admit, it would be comforting to know why Dean didn't have a name.

Dean stood on a stool in the kitchen, helping his mom cook dinner.

"Momma? What's on your arm?" Dean asked curiously as he stared at Mary's wrist.

Mary looked at both of her arms and saw nothing out of the ordinary. "There's nothing on my arm, silly."

"Yeah there is. It's right there," Dean said, pointing to Mary's wrist.

Mary realized what Dean was pointing at and ran a hand across her forehead. Both her and John were hoping that Dean wouldn't ask about the names. They weren't stupid. They knew he would ask at some point, but they were really hoping that Dean wouldn't ask this soon, or that even better, his name would actually show up before they would have to have this conversation.

"It's your daddy's name," Mary explained, wondering how on earth she was going to explain it to a three year old. John and Mary spent a lot of time talking about it, but they never really discussed how they were going to explain it to Dean.

"But you tells me that we's not supposed to draw on ourself," Dean said.

"That's right. We shouldn't draw on our self. Mommy was born with your daddy's name on her wrist."

Dean looked up at his mother, clearly confused. "Why?"

"It's because I'm his soulmate. It means that mommy and daddy love each other very, very much."

"Oh. Does daddy have a name?"

"Yes. Daddy has mommy's name written on his wrist. Your Grandma and Grandpa had their names on their wrist. And Mr. and Mrs. Gray across the street have each other's names on their wrist."

"So everyone has a name?" Dean questioned.

Mary sighed. What was she supposed to say to Dean? "Just about everyone."

"Ok." Dean looked down at his own arms and saw that they were blank. He turned his hand over. Maybe his name was on the other side.

Mary watched Dean flip his wrists over and over again, just looking for a name, even if he wouldn't be able to read it. She felt her heart break because she knew that he was going to realize that he didn't have a name.

"Momma? Why don't I has a name?"

Mary sighed. "We don't know, sweetie."

"But you has a name and daddy has a name and Grandma and Grandpa has a name. Why don't I has a name?" Dean looked up at Mary with big green eyes.

"We don't know, sweetie. It just means your special."

"But how come everyone else has names and I don't?"

"Everyone else was born with a name, sweetie. No one knows why it is."

Dean was silent as he climbed down off of the stool.

"Dean, come here."

Dean turned around and looked at his mom. She quickly walked over and pulled him into a hug. "Just because you don't have a name, doesn't mean you aren't special. You are one of a kind. Your name might just come later."

"Ok, mommy."

"Why don't you go play in the living room until daddy gets home?"

"Ok," Dean said before walking out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Mary watched her son walk over to the toy bin and pull out some superhero action figures to play with. Dean didn't say anything, but she knew that even at three years old, it was bothering him. Most parents have an easy conversation about names with their child. 'That name is who you are going to marry one day. It's the name of your soulmate.' And that's all that needs to be said on the subject. If only it were that easy with Dean.

Later that night, Mary had put Dean to bed and sat down next to John on the couch. "What's up?" John asked.

"What do you mean?" Mary asked, trying to appear like nothing was bothering her.

"You've been acting off all day."

"Dean asked about his name today," Mary said quietly.

That was definitely not the answer John was expecting. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him what I could. I told him what a name means and that people are born with them."

"But what about why he doesn't have a name? Did he even ask about that?"

"Of course he asked about it. I just told him that it could come later. I didn't know what else I could say."

"But what if it doesn't?" John asked. It was something John always asked every doctor they talked to. What's going to happen if Dean doesn't have a name?

"He is three years old, John. He doesn't need to know that he might not ever have a name or that he is the only person in the world without a name. Let him be a kid for a while."

"But, we've been to how many doctors and specialists. They don't know what's wrong with him."

"And he is three years old. He shouldn't have to worry about that. When you were three, were you worrying about your name?"

John looked down at the floor. Of course he wasn't worrying about a name when he was three.

"I just say we let him be a kid and we can worry about it later. And besides, there is still is a possibility that he could get a name."

"You really think that Dean is going to get a name?" John asked.

"I don't think it's that far of a stretch. At this point anything is possible. I just want my baby to be happy."


	3. Chapter 3

Dean was excited that he was going to be a big brother. It meant that he was going to have someone to play with and someone to teach everything he knew to.

Several months after Mary and John had told Dean that he was going to be a big brother, Samuel Winchester finally entered the world. Mary remained at the hospital with Sam, while John went to the neighbor's house to pick up Dean so he could finally meet his baby brother.

When they got to the hospital, Dean immediately went over to his mother's bed and climbed up to get a good luck at his brother.

"What do you think, Dean?"

"He's really tiny."

"You were that small when you were born, too."

"No, I wasn't."

Mary laughed. "Yes you were. You were about the size of Sammy."

"Really?"

"Really," John answered from behind Dean. "So what do you think? Think we can play catch with Sammy?"

"Not yet. He's too little."

"Ok, maybe when he's bigger."

"Yeah and then I can teach him hows to play baseball and catch and football," Dean said excitedly.

Mary just smiled, happy that Dean was so happy to have a brother.

Mary and John had brought Sam home from the hospital. It was definitely different for Dean, now that he wasn't an only child anymore, but he liked being able to help his mom with Sam.

As Dean was helping his mom change Sam's diaper, Dean noticed something. "Momma?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"How come Sammy's got a name?"

It had been several months since she had had to explain names to Dean and they hadn't really talked about them since. But it had appeared like Dean hadn't forgot about them.

"Because that's how he was born."

"But I don't gots one," Dean said, sadly.

Mary sighed. "We don't know Dean. Yours might just come later."

"But Sammy already gots one."

"I know, sweetie. But it's just how it happened. We'll figure it out eventually."

"It's not fair."

"It just means you're special."

"I don't wants to be special. I wants a name like you and daddy and Sammy."

"Oh, Dean." Mary pulled Dean into a hug, knowing that there was nothing else more she could do.

"Momma?"

"What, dear?"

"If it's the name of the person you're gonna marry, you love the person a lot, right?"

"Yes. You love them very, very much."

"Does that mean no one's gonna love me?" Dean asked, looking at his mother with tears in his eyes.

"Dean, that doesn't mean that. I still love you. Daddy still loves you."

Dean sniffled and said, "Ok."

"Dean, just because you don't have a name, doesn't mean your daddy or I will love you any less."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

It wasn't too much longer after that when a fire came and destroyed their entire home, taking Mary along with it. John was completely distraught and had no idea how to go about raising two young boys on his own.

Dean was upset too. He missed his mom, but he still had his dad and Sammy.

After talking to some people and gathering some information, John made the decision to quit his job as a mechanic and leave Lawrence altogether. John took the boys across the country so he could learn all about the evil in the world, specifically so he could one day kill the thing that had taken his soulmate away from him.

Dean quickly adapted and focused all of his attention on his little brother. He wasn't going to let anything happen to Sammy.

"Hey, Dean. What's this?" Sam asked, pointing to his wrist.

"That's a name," Dean answered briefly. Why wasn't his dad here to explain this stuff to Sam? He didn't normally have a problem with it, but times liked this really sucked.

"Why's there a name?"

"It's the name of the person you're gonna marry."

"What's marry?"

"It means you're gonna love someone a lot and go live with them," Dean said, trying to figure out how to explain marriage to his younger brother. Seriously, of all the days Sam had to ask these things, it had to be on a day when his dad wasn't here.

"So I'm not gonna live with you and dad anymore?"

"Well, you're gonna be living with us for a long time yet, but eventually you're gonna go live with your soulmate."

"I don't want to leave you," Sam said sadly.

"Sammy, you're not going to be leaving for a really, really long time. I promise."

"Ok." Sam said as he looked at the name again. "What's it say?"

Dean had to laugh. Leave it to Sam to ask about the significance of the name before asking what it actually says.

Dean walked over and looked at Sam's wrist. "Jessica Moore."

"Who's that?" Sam asked.

"Dunno. You'll meet her eventually and then get married."

"What's your name?"

"Why do you want to know my name?" Dean asked, hoping that he could avoid the subject with his brother. He really didn't want to have to explain to a four year old why he didn't have a name, especially why he had no idea why he didn't have one.

"My name says who I'm gonna marry. Who are you gonna marry?"

"It doesn't matter, Sammy. Why don't you go watch cartoons?"

Sam pouted, wanting an answer from Dean. Dean finally relented, cursing the fact that he couldn't say no to Sam.

"I don't have a name."

"Huh?"

"I don't have a name, Sam."

"But I gots a name. Why don't you?"

"I don't know, Sam."

"Why?"

"I don't know!" Dean yelled, but he instantly regretted it when he saw the hurt look on his brother's face. "Sammy, I'm sorry."

Sammy sniffed. "It's ok, Dean."

"Sammy, look at me. I'm really sorry for yelling at you. I didn't mean it."

"Then why'd you do it?"

Dean sighed. "I just don't like talking about how I don't have a name."

"Why?"

Dean took a deep breath to calm himself down. He knew that Sammy didn't mean to make him upset. Sammy was just curious, sometimes too curious for his own good. "I just don't, Sam. Ok?"

"It's not fair."

Dean looked at his brother. "What's not fair?"

"You don't have a name."

Dean didn't say anything, but he couldn't help but silently agree with Sam.


	4. Chapter 4

Life on the road had no doubt been hard for Dean. He was constantly moving and therefore constantly being forced to meet new people. Early on, Dean learned that it was best just to hide his wrist. Everyone who saw that there wasn't a name on it made a point to ask him about it. For some reason, people didn't seem to understand that not having a name doesn't make you special. It just means that unlike every other person in the entire world, you don't have a soulmate.

Dean didn't understand it. He was sure that if he had had a name and saw someone that didn't, he would be curious, too. But he sure wouldn't go up to that person and directly interrogate them about it. Although, that belief of not interrogating people may have come from in own experience of being interrogated for his entire life.

Dean had also decided very early on that every one else was lucky. Not only did they have a soulmate, they didn't have to deal with questions about it. It didn't matter what their name said, but it apparently meant everything that he didn't have a name. It just wasn't fair, another lesson Dean had learned.

Somehow, no matter where they ended up, someone always managed to see that Dean's wrist was blank. Dean did his best to hide it, but it didn't always work. It used to happen all of the time during gym class, but Dean got smart. He started taking a pen and writing some random name on his wrist, which worked as long as no one knew the name.

Now that Dean was a teenager, it had gotten really bad. It used to be just the adults questioning about his name, but now the students started to get invested in finding not only their soulmates, but the soulmates of their classmates. It was frustrating for Dean and he tried to ignore it as best as he could.

Dean and Sam had been at their school in Wyoming for about three weeks. Dean didn't know how long they were going to be at this school, but Dean hoped it would be a while, just so Sam could have some sense of normalcy after being bounced around from school to school since he started.

John had gotten home late from a hunt last night. Dean learned quickly that when his dad got home from a hunt, he was usually drunk, meaning that Dean would be forced to take care of his dad during the night and then still go to school the next day. It was hard, but he managed.

Dean had gotten changed in the locker room and went into the gym for his gym class. He didn't see the point. He could easily out perform all of these kids, as well as most of the students in the high school, but yet they still made him take gym. Since his dad got home late the previous night, Dean had been tired and hadn't remembered to write a name on his wrist so he could look normal while he wore a short-sleeved shirt. By the time he had noticed that he didn't write anything, it was too late.

"What's up with your name?" Michael asked as they stood in line waiting for gym to start.

Dean mentally cursed. "Don't worry about it."

"What? You embarrassed of it or something?"

"I said drop it."

"Why? You can see all of ours, why can't we see yours?"

"Just shut up."

"Come on, Winchester, just –"

Michael was cut off by Dean's fist colliding with Michael's nose. Dean had wound up for another punch, but was stopped by the gym teacher showing up and roughly pulling Dean away. "Office. Now."

Dean, still furious, walked out of the gym and down the hall to the office, knowing that it wasn't going to end well for him. His dad always told him that he needed to stay out of trouble and not draw attention to himself, but that wasn't always the easiest thing to do. Dean tried, he really did, but then things like this came up.

Dean was joined in the office by the gym teacher and they went to the principal's office.

"What seems to be the problem today?" Principal Jacobs asked.

"Mr. Winchester decided that it would be a good idea to attack Michael Waller," the gym teacher explained.

"He had it coming," Dean said angrily, interrupting whatever else the gym teacher was going to say.

"You cannot attack other students, Mr. Winchester. It doesn't matter what he said. We do not tolerate violence at this school," Principal Jacobs explained calmly.

"But other students are allowed to give other kids shit. That seems fair."

"Watch your mouth. Would you care to explain what Michael said?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes it does."

Dean sighed. "He was giving me crap about my name."

"That's no reason to attack a student."

"I told him to stop, but he just kept going on about it."

"In any case, we are trying to contact your father," Principal Jacobs said. Dean wanted to snort, knowing that they were going to have a hell of a time contacting his father. "But we are unable to reach him."

"He's away on business."

"Well he's going to have to come home. You are suspended."

"What?"

"We do not tolerate violence at this school."

"But you sure as hell tolerate students being assholes," Dean muttered under his breath.

"I wouldn't push your luck, Mr. Winchester. You're already looking at a three-day suspension. I don't think you want to make it longer."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Doesn't really matter."

"Five days. You may collect your things and then you need to get off of school property. I do not want to see you here until those five days are done."

"Fine," Dean said before standing up and storming out of the office.

Dean went straight back to the small apartment they were renting and tried to figure out what he was supposed to do. His dad was going to be pissed, but his dad was going to find out sooner or later that he had been suspended.

Dean called the number his dad left, but no one picked up. Maybe his dad was already on his way back.

Three o'clock rolled around and Dean still hadn't heard anything from his dad. All he could hope was that he was on his way home, even if that meant there would be an inevitable blow up. Dean picked Sam up from school and walked him home.

"Dean, where's your backpack?"

"Already home."

"Why?"

"Don't worry about it, Sammy."

"Did you get in trouble again?"

How was it that his brother always knew when something was wrong? "Yeah."

"Come on, Dean. I don't want to leave."

"I don't even know if we're leaving. I can't get a hold of dad. So don't worry about it, Sammy."

"I like this school. I don't like always having to move."

"Just don't worry about it for now, okay? Wait til dad gets home."

"Fine." Dean could tell that Sam didn't like that answer. Dean could also tell that Sam knew that they were going to end up moving. Dean didn't like always moving around either, but he couldn't wait to get out of this town.

John arrived back at the apartment that night and Dean knew that he would have to tell him what happened.

John was sitting at the table, no doubt researching for his next hunt.

"Dad, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Can it wait?" John asked without looking up from whatever he was researching.

"Not really. I, uh, I got suspended today."

That got John's attention. John looked up and Dean could see the anger and frustration in his eyes.

"Dean, we really can't deal with shit like this."

"I know, dad. I just – I just lost control or something. I didn't mean to," Dean tried to explain.

"What did you do?"

"I attacked a kid."

"Why?"

"He—he wouldn't shut up."

"It's about your name again, isn't it?" Dean just stayed silent. "Dean you've got to just let it go. You can't go attacking people every time they make some comment about it."

"I know that—"

"Then why don't you stop attacking people for mentioning it?"

"I'm sorry, dad."

"Because that makes everything better. Go pack your things. We're leaving tomorrow."

Sam was going to hate him. All of this over the fact he couldn't just be normal.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean turned the doorknob as quietly as he could, trying to sneak into the house without running into his father. Yes, he probably shouldn't have been out as late as he had, but he wasn't about to pass up an opportunity with one of the hottest girls in this town.

Dean walked into the house and silently shut the door behind him. When he turned around, he wasn't expecting to see his father sitting at the kitchen table. Dean immediately noticed the can of beer sitting by his father, as well as the two empty ones that were already laying on the floor.

"Where've you been?" John grunted.

"Just out."

"And you just left your brother here?"

"He's fourteen. And besides you were here."

"That's not what I asked."

 _Dammit_ , Dean thought. It was going to be one of  _those_  nights.

"What was so important that you had to sneak out of the house and leave your brother alone?" John asked.

"It was nothing. I'm sorry, dad."

"It was something. Otherwise you wouldn't have pulled a boneheaded move like this."

Dean remained silent.

"Answer me, Dean. That's an order," John growled.

"I just went out to meet this girl and –"

"That's what this is? You left your brother alone to go hook up with some girl? I can't believe this."

"Dad, it's not—"

"It's not what? It's not as bad as I think? Explain it to me then."

Dean couldn't think of any way to explain it to his father. John was right. He should have stayed here with Sam.

"Dammit, Dean!" John yelled after it was clear that Dean wasn't going to say anything. "You've gotta stop doing this."

"Doing what exactly? Going out?"

"Sleeping around. Why don't you show yourself some respect, boy?"

"Why?" Dean asked, unsure why now, all of the sudden he decided that he was going to question his father. It wasn't the first time that John had caught him sneaking in after spending time with a girl, so he had heard this speech more than once. And it wasn't like Dean went out when they were in the middle of a hunt or left Sam completely alone. Dean wasn't stupid.

"Why? Because it's common sense. You really think that your –"

"My what? My soulmate? If you haven't noticed I haven't exactly got one and it looks like that's never gonna change. So, I'm sorry but I don't see the point," Dean responded angrily. The worst part was Dean knew that this conversation would have happened sooner or later, even if Dad wasn't drunk.

"I thought I raised you better than this."

"Better than what?"

"I thought I raised you to have more respect for other people."

"I do have respect for people. You think I'm taking advantage of this girl? Or the girls before her? I'm not gonna make them do anything they don't want to. They were perfectly willing to get with me, even though I don't match the name on their wrist."

"I don't want you to get in trouble," John admitted.

"I'm fine. I can take care of myself. You made sure of that. And I'm not forcing anybody to do anything. Worry about all the other crap in the world. You don't have to worry about me."

John was silent, trying to process what had all been said. He found himself wishing, not for the first time, that Mary was still here. She would have been so much better at these kinds of things.

"Are we done?" Dean asked.

"I guess."

* * *

"Did you and Dad fight again?" Sam asked as Dean walked into the room.

"Kinda. I doesn't matter."

"But you and dad  _never_  fight."

"Whatever you say, Sammy."

Sam was silent for a minute before asking, "What were you guys fighting about?"

"Don't worry about it, Sammy," Dean said before flopping on his bed.

"He caught you with some girl again, didn't he?"

"It doesn't matter."

"I heard you guys. He said something about girls and soulmates."

"Look, Sammy. You don't have to worry about me. You just need worry about finding that Jessica girl."

"But what about you? What are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?" Dean questioned, turning to look at his brother.

"Say I find Jessica. What are you going to do?"

Dean shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. This, I guess."

"You're just going to keep hunting?"

"I don't see why not?"

"But don't you want a normal life, Dean?"

"Sam, I'm not going to get a normal life. And besides, I'm good at this."

Sam stayed quiet after that. Why couldn't Dean see that there was more to life than just hunting?

* * *

It wasn't even four years later that Sam decided that he was leaving. Dean came back to the crappy house they were living in to find Sam and their father screaming at each other.

"I don't want this life! I've never wanted this life!" Sam yelled.

"What about your mother?!" John yelled just as loud.

"I don't even remember mom!"

"Guys, just stop it!" Dean yelled trying to get some control of the situation, but it failed miserably.

"Fine, Sam. You leave, but if you walk out that door, don't you dare come back!"

"Fine! Wouldn't want to come back to this hell hole anyway!"

"Just wait!" Dean tried again, but he may have just as well tried to get a fish to listen to him.

Sam had already grabbed his bag and walked out the front door. Dean ran after him, hoping to talk some sense into his brother. He knew it was going to be pointless though. The fights between his brother and father had been getting worse and worse as time went on and it was only a matter of time before something like this happened.

"Sam, just wait one second!" Dean called.

Sam stopped and turned around, still fuming after his fight with his dad. "What do you want? Tell me that I should stay gone, too?"

"What? No. Of course, not. Sammy, just think about this –"

"I have thought about this, Dean. I've wanted out of here for years, and I finally got out."

"So that's it, you're just going to leave me and Dad?"

Sam looked down at the ground for a few seconds before saying "You could come with me."

"Sammy—"

"Come on, Dean. A normal life?" Sam looked into his brother's eyes, pleading with him.

"Sam, we've been through this. I'm never gonna have a normal life."

Sam looked at his brother and then at the ground again. "So I guess this is it then?"

"You really gonna leave? Turn your back on me and Dad?"

"What choice do I have?"

"You could stay with us."

"I don't want that, Dean. You know that."

Dean took a deep breath and nodded. "Fine. Just—Just take care of yourself, Sammy."

"You too."

Dean watched Sam turn around and walk away. He thought about chasing after Sam, but he knew he was needed here.

Dean took a deep breath and walked back into the house. Ignoring his father, Dean went straight to the room he and Sam were sharing. At least it couldn't get much worse than this, right?

* * *

Unfortunately for Dean, it could get worse. His father was convinced that Dean was old enough to hunt on his own. Now not only had he lost his brother, but Dean practically lost his father. The only time he talked to his father was if his father had a specific hunt he needed Dean to take care of.

The loneliness sucked, but Dean did his best to fill that void. The sex felt great physically, but it did nothing to fill the void of his missing family. Maybe it was because Dean never stuck around. He was always gone before whatever-her-name-was woke up the next morning. He just couldn't really handle getting too attached.

* * *

It had been about two and a half weeks since Dean had last heard from his father and frankly Dean was starting to get worried. He knew his father was a fantastic hunter, but hunting was dangerous and who knew what had happened to him. Dean tried everything he could do to contact his father or at least figure out if he was still alive. But after a week of no success, Dean decided that he would have to find his dad, but he need some help with that. Dean pushed the gas pedal down as far as he could and headed west toward California.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean had to admit, finding his brother's apartment and breaking in didn't take much effort. He was kind of disappointed in Sam. It seemed that Sam had either forgotten or just didn't care about everything he learned growing up. Dean quietly made his way into Sam's apartment, ready to wait all night if he had to. But it seemed that Sam hadn't forgotten everything. Sam still had his keen sense of hearing. Sam moved to attack Dean, but Dean heard Sam first and was able to pin him to the floor.

"Whoa. Easy tiger," Dean said looking down at Sam as he pinned Sam to the floor.

"Dean?" Sam asked confused. "You scared the crap out of me."

Dean smirked. "That's cause you're outta practice." Before Dean could say more, Sam used all of his body strength to flip Dean off of him and pin him to the floor. "Or not," Dean remarked. "Get off of me."

Sam helped Dean up and asked, "Dean, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Well I was looking for a beer," Dean said innocently.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sam asked again.

Not wanting to anger his brother anymore, because Dean knew he needed Sam's help for this, Dean said, "Ok. Alright. We gotta talk."

"Uh, the phone?" Sam said like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"If I'd of called, would you have picked up?" Dean asked. Truth was, if Dean knew that there was even a chance of Sam picking up the phone, Dean would have called. But after not speaking for several years, Dean knew that the only way that he would even have a chance of getting his brother's help was to literally show up at his house.

Before Sam could answer, the light turned on. "Sam?" a blonde girl asked.

"Jess, hey." The light bulb went off in Dean's head immediately.

" _Jessica Moore."_

" _Who's that?" Sam asked._

" _Dunno. You'll meet her eventually and then get married."_

"Dean, this is Jessica," Sam said, with a hint of pride in his voice. Dean had to admit that even though it had been miserable not having Sam with him for the last few years, at least Sam was able to find his soulmate. At least something good had come out of all of this.

"Wait? Your brother Dean?" Jessica asked, looking from Sam to Dean.

"I love the Smurfs," Dean said, trying to change the subject. "You know, I gotta tell ya, you are way out of my brother's league."

"We're soulmates," Jessica said simply, holding up her wrist.

"Doesn't change the fact that you are way out of my brother's league."

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Just let me put something on."

"No no no. I wouldn't dream of it. Seriously," Dean added. "Anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here and talk about some serious family business, but uh, nice meeting you."

"No," Sam said, rejoining the conversation and walking over by Jessica. "Whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of her."

Great. How was he supposed to explain this to a girl who probably didn't even know about what her soulmate's family actually does? "Ok," Dean said, still trying to find the best way to word it. "Um. Dad hasn't been home in a few days."

"So he's working overtime on a Miller time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later."

Obviously, Sam hadn't quite caught on. "Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days."

That got Sam's attention. "Jess, excuse us. We have to go outside."

* * *

Dean walked outside, followed closely by Sam. "You can't just break in in the middle of the night and expect me to hit the road with you."

Dean sighed. Sam obviously didn't seem to care that their dad was missing. Sure the last time the two had seen each other, it hadn't been pretty, but Sam still had to care about dad a little bit, right? Maybe it was different for Sam though. Their dad was all Dean had. Sam at least had found his soulmate. Maybe it was different. "You're not hearing me, Sammy. Dad's missing and I need you to help me find him."

"You remember the poltergeist in Amherst or the devil's gates in Clifton? He was missing then too. He's always missing and he's always fine," Sam said. Dean had known it was going to be a fight to get Sam to come with him, but he had really hoped it wasn't going to be this hard.

"Not for this long. Now you going to come with me or not?"

"I'm not," Sam replied, his voice evident that he wasn't going to change his mind.

"Why not?" Dean asked.

"I swore I was done hunting. For good."

"Come on. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't that bad."

"Yeah?" Sam asked. "When I told dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45."

"Well what was he supposed to do?"

"I was nine years old. He was supposed to say 'don't be afraid of the dark'."

"Don't be afraid of the dark?" Dean asked, incredulously. "What are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark. You know what's out there."

"Yeah I know. But still, the way we grew up after mom was killed and dad's obsession to find the thing that killed her. But we still haven't found the damn thing. So we kill everything we can find."

"Save a lot of people doing it too."

"You think mom would have wanted this for us? The weapon training? The melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors."

"So what are you going to do? Marry your soulmate? Live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it?" Dean asked.

"Dean, I'm sorry that you can't do that. You just don't get—" Sam stopped immediately regretting what he had just said.

Dean bit his bottom lip and took a deep breath. "You're right. I can't, but I do get that Jess is important to you. But dad's important to me and he's in real trouble right now. I can feel it and I can't do this alone."

"Yes you can," Sam said, knowing full well that Dean was perfectly capable of hunting whatever it was by himself.

"Well, I don't want to," Dean admitted. "You gonna help me or not?"

Sam sighed. "What was he hunting?"

After filling Sam in on everything Dean had gathered, Dean knew Sam was still on the fence about actually coming to help him.

"You know in two years, I've never bothered you, never asked for anything," Dean said.

Sam sighed. "Alright. I'll go. But I have to be back first thing on Monday."

"What's first thing Monday."

"I have this—I have this interview."

"What a job interview? Skip it," Dean said.

"It's a law school interview and it's my whole future on a plate."

"Law school?"

"So we got a deal or not?" Sam asked.

"Fine. I'll have you back by Monday."

* * *

"So tell me about Jessica," Dean said as they sped down the highway.

"What about her?"

"She's your soulmate and you got nothing to say?"

"I got plenty to say, I just don't see why you're so interested."

"Sam, I told you who your soulmate was before you even knew what a soulmate was. Just give me something."

"What do you want to know?" Sam asked. Sam had to admit, he was kind of surprised that Dean had asked about it. Growing up, talking about soulmates was pretty much off limits, and now Dean wanted to talk about it all of the sudden. It was just strange.

"Where'd you meet her?"

"At a party freshman year. Just sort of bumped into each other, and well it all just kind of went from there," Sam explained.

"So you're happy with her?"

"Of course I'm happy with her. She's my soulmate."

"Hey, I don't go through this whole process, remember? I just want to make sure that you're doing alright."

"I remember. It's just you never wanted to talk about this stuff when we were growing up."

Dean shrugged, but didn't say anything.

"So what about you? What have you been up to?"

"Just hunting."

"Just hunting?"

"Yeah, Sam. Just hunting. You want me to spell it out for you?" Dean asked.

"Well, it's just…"

"Just what, Sammy?"

"It's just that all through high school you were always with some girl or something. Are you still doing that?" Sam asked hesitantly.

"I guess. Here's the thing. There's some chicks that don't give a damn about if you got a name or not. They just wanna get laid and it's not like I'm ever going to have a soulmate, so why not?"

"I guess."

"Look, Sammy. I'm not saying that it wouldn't be nice to actually have a name, but after twenty-six years, you just kinda get used to it."

"Whatever you say, Dean."

* * *

"So this is where Constance took the swan dive?" Dean asked, as they walked across the bridge.

"So you think dad would've been here?"

"Well he's chasing the same story and we're chasing him."

"Ok. So now what?" Sam asked.

"Now we keep digging until we find him."

"Dean, I told you, I gotta get back by—"

"Monday. Right, the interview."

"Yeah," Sam said.

"Yeah, I forgot. You're really serious about this, aren't you? You think you're just going to become some lawyer, marry your soulmate?"

"Maybe," Sam said. "Why not?"

"Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean does she know about the things you've done?"

"No and she's not ever going to know."

"Well that's healthy. You've known this girl for the last few years. She's your soulmate. And you haven't told her about what you've done."

"I don't want to scare her off."

"So you're just going to keep lying to her?"

"It's not lying, it's…"

"It's what, Sam? Not telling the truth? Not being totally honest? Call me crazy but that's the same thing as lying."

Sam was silent. He knew Dean had a point and that he probably should tell Jess. She was his soulmate after all, but still, the thought of telling anyone of what he had done terrified him.

"You can pretend all you want Sammy, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face up to who you really are."

"And who's that?" Sam asked.

"One of us."

"No," Sam said defiantly. "I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life."

"You have a responsibility—"

"To dad? And his crusade? If it wasn't for pictures, I wouldn't even know what mom looks like. What difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back."

Dean didn't think twice about slamming Sam into the bridge. "Don't talk about her like that. Sam?"

Dean looked in the same direction as Sam and saw Constance standing by the bridge.

"Where'd she go?" Dean asked.

"I don't know."

All of the sudden, Sam and Dean heard the impala start up.

"What the-?"

"Who's driving your car?" Sam asked.

Dean dug into his pocket and fished out his keys to show Sam. The impala started moving toward them and the two boys ran for it.

* * *

The hunt didn't end up being too bad. They had been able to take care of the woman in white, but the two brothers hadn't found any trace of their dad except his abandoned motel room and his journal.

"Ok," Sam said as he checked the coordinates from his dad's journal against the map one final time to make sure he got it right. "It's called Black Water Ridge, Colorado."

"Sounds charming. How far?"

"About six hundred miles."

"If we shag ass, we can make it there by morning."

"Dean. I, uh…"

"You're not going?" Dean asked, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"The interview's in like ten hours. I gotta be there."

"Yeah. Yeah, whatever. I'll take you home," Dean said. He just wished that just once Sam would see things differently. Dean didn't just want to find their dad, he  _had_ to find their dad.

"Call me if you find him. Maybe I can meet up with you later?" Sam asked getting out of the car.

"Yeah. Alright," Dean said, knowing that meeting up with Sam would never happen. "Sam? You know we made a hell of a team back there."

Sam nodded. "Yeah," he said, before turning around and walking into his apartment.

Dean watched him and once he knew Sam was inside, Dean took off down the road. Saying Dean was frustrated was an understatement. Dean got that Sam had found his soulmate and that he had stuff to do with that, but it's like Sam didn't really care. He didn't get that their dad was all Dean had. He was never going to have a soulmate, never going to have a chance at a normal life. Dean had done everything in his power to ensure that Sam at least got a chance to have a somewhat normal life, but none of that seemed to matter. The one time, the only time, Dean had asked Sam for something, Sam had said no.

Regardless of his feelings of frustration, Dean still couldn't help but feel that something wasn't right. He wasn't sure what, but something wasn't right. Making a quick decision, he did a U-turn and headed back toward Stanford, just so he could put his mind at ease that Sam was ok.

As he got closer to Stanford, Dean's feeling that something just wasn't right got stronger. When he was about a block away from Sam's apartment, he started to see smoke. Quickly, he put the car in park and ran inside.  _No, no, no. This couldn't be happening_ , Dean thought as he ran through the apartment trying to find his brother.  _I'm not going to lose Sam, too._

That's when he saw his brother, laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling where Jessica was pinned and burning. Without a second thought, Dean rushed over and grabbed Sam and pushed him out of the room, ignoring Sam's calls for Jess and his attempts to get back in the room to try and save her. Somehow Dean had managed to get Sam outside, even though he had to use all of his strength to keep Sam from running back in the house in an attempt to save his soulmate.

Finally, the fire department arrived and got the fire under control. After what felt like an eternity, a firefighter came over to deliver the news that they had not been able to save Jess.

Dean wasn't quick enough and Sam's knees buckled and he dropped to the ground.

Dean crouched down next to his brother, "Come on, Sammy. You're gonna get through this."

"How do you know that? You have no idea what I'm trying to deal with!"

"I know, but I do know that you are going to get through this. We're gonna figure this out," Dean said calmly.

"Figure what out? Jess is dead! My soulmate is gone!" Sam yelled.

Dean was silent for a moment, before he took a deep breath and said, "I know, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But, we're gonna get you through this. I promise."

Sam sat on the ground for a few more minutes, holding his head in his hands. Eventually, Sam got up and walked over to the impala. "Come on, Dean. We got work to do."

* * *

It had been two weeks since the fire and Dean was still worrying about Sam. Sam had done his best to appear normal and fine, but Dean wasn't buying it.

"How are you doing, Sammy?"

"Just fine."

"No, you're not."

"And how would you know that?" Sam retaliated.

"You just lost your soulmate. Now, I don't know how that feels, but I can't imagine that it feels good or that you are fine. It's only been what? Two week?"

"Dean, I'm fine," Sam repeated, hoping that Dean would just drop it.

"Just cut the crap, Sam!"

"What do you want me to say?"

"How about the truth?"

"Fine. I'm not ok. Yeah, I just lost my soulmate. It's not like I have another one. Jess was it. The one person for me and now she's gone. So yeah, maybe I'm not doing ok, but I'm handling it."

"Look, Sam. I get you're handling it, or whatever. But, it's not like any other death we've seen."

"You think I don't realize that?"

"I'm just saying that—"

"That what? Dean, I'm dealing with this, ok? Just trust me."

Dean took a deep breath. This is not how he had wanted this conversation to go, but he realized that Sam was going to just deal with it in whatever way Sam dealt with it. "Ok. Just let me know if you need anything. I may not have lost a soulmate, but I got plenty of experience with not having one."

Sam nodded, but said nothing else.


	7. Chapter 7

After trying to get Sam to talk about losing Jessica that one time, Dean had dropped it. Sam hadn't been himself since Jess died, but who could blame him. As much as Dean wanted to talk to Sam about everything and make sure he was ok, Dean knew he just had to give his brother space. Sam would talk to him if he needed help.

Finally a few days after Dean had tried unsuccessfully to talk to Sam, Sam decided he wanted to talk to Dean.

"How do you do it?" Sam asked as they sped down the highway in the Impala.

"Do what?"

"Live without a soulmate?"

Dean took a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way to answer. "I don't know. It's different for me I guess. Like I've never had someone, so it's just kinda normal for me."

"So that's what's going to happen? It's just going to be normal for me?"

"I don't know, Sammy. I mean people lose their soulmates all the time. You can't really do anything about it. Or you could just be like me who never had one to begin with. It's not something you can change, but you just gotta keep thinking on the positive side of things."

"What could possibly be the positive side of losing Jess?" Sam asked.

"Well for one, you are still alive and I'm sure Jess would've wanted you to be happy. So focus on that. Just finding something that makes you happy."

"Is that what you do?"

"I guess," Dean said after a moment. "Like I said, I don't really know what it's like to lose someone like that, but you just keep going. I like hunting. I'm good at it, so I just focus on that."

"Yeah, I guess," Sammy mumbled.

"Hey, you're gonna get through this. It'll all work out."

Sam didn't say much after that. He just let Dean continue driving on their way to their next hunt.

* * *

Life hadn't been easy after leaving California with Sam. First there was all the spirits and monsters. Then Sam started having psychic visions. And if all of that wasn't bad enough, when Sam and Dean had actually found their Dad, he had died not too long after that. Dean just wanted a break from all of the death and misery. But, when had that ever been possible in Dean's life?

* * *

Some time later, Dean found himself staring at Sam's corpse as it lay on the bed. He had let his brother down. He had failed at the one thing he was supposed to do in life, protect his brother. He couldn't even do that right.

Staring at his brother did nothing but remind Dean of how much he had screwed up, but he couldn't stop staring at his brother. Bobby had been by to try and get Dean to make a decision about what to do with Sam's body, but Dean had just yelled at him saying that he wasn't ready yet.

"You know when we were little?" Dean asked as if Sam could actually respond. "You couldn't have been more than five, you just stated asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always move around? Where'd dad go? He'd take off for days at a time. I remember I begged you to quit asking Sammy. You didn't want to know. I just wanted you to be a kid just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you. Keep you safe. Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility you know? It was like I had one job. One job. And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that I'm sorry. I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. You know I let dad down. And now I guess I'm supposed to just let you down too. I guess that's maybe why I never got a name? Because I always let everyone I love down. You, Dad. God, Sam, I never wanted to let you down. How can I? Am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy. God. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do?!"

Without another thought, Dean grabbed the keys to his impala and ran out the door. Driving to the nearest crossroads, he parked his car and buried the box with everything he needed to summon the demon.

* * *

"Oh come on already. Show your face, you bitch!" Dean yelled in frustration. Every second he stood there waiting for the demon was another second his brother was still dead.

"Easy sugar, you'll wake the neighbors," a voice from behind Dean said. Dean spun around to look at the demon standing there. "Dean, the boy with no name. It's so, so good to see you."

"Shut up," Dean growled, glaring at the demon.

"Well it's no secret. You're special, Dean. All alone in the world. Always will be. And now look at this. You've gone and got your family killed. Excuse me, you're gonna have to give me a moment. Sometimes, you gotta stop and smell the roses."

"I should send you straight back to hell," Dean spat.

"Oh, you should. But you won't. And I know why."

"Oh yeah?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. Following in Daddy's footsteps. You wanna make a deal. Little Sammy back from the dead, and let me guess, you're offering up your own soul?"

"There are a hundred other demons who'd love to get their hands on it. And it's all yours. And all you got to do is bring Sam back. And give me ten years. Ten years, and then you come for me," Dean said, praying that the demon would just accept the deal.

"You must be joking."

"That's the same deal you give everybody else," Dean said trying not to panic. What if she wasn't going to give him the deal? He had to get his brother back, no matter what it took.

"You're not everybody else. Why would I want to give you anything? Keep your gutter soul. It's too tarnished, anyway," the demon said.

"Nine years."

"No."

"Eight."

"You keep going and I'll keep saying no."

"Okay, five years. Five years, and my bill comes due. That's my last offer. Five years or no deal."  _Please just take the deal and let me have Sam back,_  Dean thought to himself.  _Please_.

"Then no deal," the demon said simply.

"Fine."

"Fine," the demon said, turning to walk away. "Make sure you bury Sam before he starts stinking up the joint."

"Wait," Dean said after a second.

"It's a fire sale, and everything must go."

"What do I have to do?" Dean asked.

"First of all, quit groveling. Needy guys are such a turnoff. Look. Look I shouldn't be doing thing. I could get in a lot of trouble. But what can I say? I got a blind spot for you, Dean. You're like a puppy. You're just too fun to play with. I'll do it."

"You'll bring him back?" Dean asked, wanting to confirm his deal.

"I will. And because I'm such a saint, I'll give you one year. And one year only. But here's the thing. I f you try and welch or weasel your way out, then the deal is off. Sam drops dead. He's back to rotten meat in no time. So? It's a better deal than your dad ever got. What do you say?"

Dean grabbed the demon, pulled her close, and kissed her, sealing the deal.

* * *

Dean walked back into the house and swallowed hard. His brother was alive, standing right there in front of him. Dean quickly walked over to Sam and pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

"Ow. Uh, Dean," Sam said, bring Dean back into reality.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man. I'm just—I'm just happy to see you up and around, that's all. Come on. Sit down," Dean said.

"Okay. Dean, what happened to me?" Sam asked.

"Well, what do you remember?" Dean asked, hoping to not have to explain to his brother that he had just made a deal with a demon because he couldn't bear the thought of spending the rest of his life without his brother.

"I saw you and Bobby, and—I felt this pain. The sharp pain, like—like white hot, you know? And then you started running at me and that's about it."

"Yeah that—that kid stabbed you in the back. You lost a lot of blood. It was pretty touch and go for awhile," Dean explained, hoping his brother would believe the lie.

"But Dean, you can't patch up a wound that bad."

"No, Bobby could, who was that kid, anyway?"

"His name's Jake. Did you get him?"

"No, he disappeared into the woods."

"We got to find him, Dean. And I swear I'm gonna tear that son of a bitch apart."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy there, Van Damme. You just woke up, all right? Let's get you something to eat. Huh? You want something to eat? I'm starving. Come on."

* * *

Dean and Sam got something to eat before heading to Bobby's house. Needless to say, Bobby was suspicious from the second he saw Sam standing on his doorstep. And why wouldn't he be? It had been just a day ago when Sam had been lying dead on that bed. Bobby put Sam to work on trying to figure out why demons were surrounding southern Wyoming and got Dean to go out to the yard with him.

"You stupid ass!" Bobby yelled, facing Dean when they had gotten far enough away from the house. "What did you do? What did you do?!"

When Dean didn't answer, Bobby started connecting the dots in his head. "You made a deal. For Sam didn't you?" Dean was still silent. "How long did they give you?"

"Bobby—"

"How long?!"

"One year," Dean admitted.

"Damn it, Dean."

"Which is why we gotta find this yellow-eyed son of a bitch. That's why I'm gonna kill him myself. I got nothing to lose now, right?"

"I could throttle you!" Bobby said angrily, yanking Dean by the collar.

"And send me downstairs ahead of schedule?"

"What is it with you Winchesters, huh? You, your dad. You're both just itching to throw yourselves down the pit."

"That's my point. Dad brought me back, Bobby. I'm not even supposed to be here. At least this way, something good could come out of it, you know? It like my life could mean something."

"What? And it didn't before?! Have you got that low of an opinion of yourself? Are you that screwed in the head?!"

"That's not the point, Bobby."

"Then what is the point?! There are plenty of people here who care about you. Hell, remember when you and your brother first came by here?"

_Dean quietly stood around the corner listening to his father and Bobby talk in the kitchen._

_"I think it shouldn't take too long. I should be back in a week," John told Bobby._

" _And you're just going to leave your boys here?"_

" _I can't take them with me."_

"Don't you think you should take care of your boys?"

"I am. By making the world safe for them," John responded.

" _Bu your sons need you now."_

"They're just fine."

"No, they're not. They're both hurting and you keep ignoring it."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" John asked angrily.

" _It means that maybe you should send time more time with your boys than you do on hunting," Bobby suggested. "It's not secret that Dean needs help."_

" _Dean's just fine," John insisted._

" _Really? So you don't see the way he does everything for his brother and never once asks for anything for himself? Then there's the way he stares at the wrist of every person he meets."_

"So he's different. He's going to have to get used to it. There hasn't been a change in his wrist since he was born. It's probably never going to change. He has to accept that and get over it."

" _Yeah, but shouldn't you be helping with that? I don't care what his wrist says but everyone else does and it's obvious that your boy is struggling. Why don't you just be their father?"_

" _I am their father!" John yelled._

_When Dean heard John yelling, he ran upstairs. He didn't want to hear anymore. His dad was right, he just needed to get over it._

" _Now look what you did," Bobby said angrily. "Go talk to your son."_

_Instead of going to comfort Dean, John stalked out of the kitchen and out to his car to leave for his hunt. Bobby sighed promising that one day he would kick John Winchesters' ass._

"I couldn't let him die, Bobby. I couldn't. He's my brother," Dean explained, tearing up a little.

"How's your brother gonna feel when he knows you're going to hell? How'd you feel when you knew your dad went for you?"

"You can't tell him," Dean said seriously. "You can take a shot at me. Whatever you got to do, but please don't tell him."

Before either man could say anything else, they heard a loud noise from somewhere in the yard. Dean and Bobby immediately crawled over to the side of a car to take car of whatever was sneaking around Bobby's junkyard. Thankfully it was Ellen and not a demon or anything supernatural.

* * *

Ellen helped Bobby, Sam, and Dean with their upcoming fight. They had opened the door to hell and let hundreds of demons loose on earth, but the yellow-eyed demon was dead. But it didn't change the fact that Dean was still going to die in a year. And now Sammy knew about it, and needless to say, he was not happy.

"You shouldn't have done that. How could you do that?" Sam asked, after Dean admitted he only had one year left.

"Don't get mad at me. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job."

"And what do you think my job is?"

"What?"

"You've saved my life over and over. I mean, you sacrifice everything for me. Don't' you think I'd do the same for you? You're my big brother. There's nothing I wouldn't' do for you. And I don't care what it takes, I'm gonna get you out of this. Guess I gotta save your ass for a change."

"Yeah," Dean said, not wanting to tell Sam what would happen if Dean tried to get out of his deal.

* * *

Over the next year, Sam did what he could, but there was no escaping it. Dean was going to die. Hell, Dean didn't want to die, but what was done was done and at least Sammy was alive now.

"You seem awfully quiet," Dean commented as they drove down the road to their next hunt.

Sam just shook his head. "Don't worry about it."

"No, seriously, man. What's up with you?"

"What am I supposed to do?" Sam asked.

"Huh?"

"You're going to be gone in a few months. You can't just ignore that."

"I'm not ignoring it. I'm just trying not to think about it."

"I can't  _stop_  thinking about it, Dean. You're going to be gone. Jess is already gone. Dad is gone. What am I supposed to do?"

"You'll figure it out, Sammy. It's going to be alright," Dean replied calmly.

"So you're alright with going to hell?"

"I never said that. But, if that's what it takes to keep you alive—"

"That's all it is? Keeping me alive. Did it ever occur to you that I might not want to die for me?"

"Sam—" Dean began, but Sam cut him off again.

"Dean, I just don't want you to die. I don't want to be alone."

"You're not going to be alone. You're still going to have Bobby."

"But Bobby's not you. Bobby's not Jess."

"He's as close as we got to family. He's gonna help you get through this," Dean promised. "You'll be alright." Dean silently hoped that he was right.

The clock stroke midnight and the hellhounds attacked. Sam clung to Dean's lifeless body while Dean's soul was dragged down into hell.


	8. Chapter 8

Dean quickly became aware that he was trapped. "Help!" he yelled hoarsely, but it didn't seem to help. He pounded on the wood above him, hoping to push his way out. The wood eventually broke and he was covered in dirt. Slowly, Dean managed to pull himself out of the pile of dirt and onto solid ground. He stood up and took in his surroundings. He's standing in a field where it looks as if a bomb went off.

Dean started walking, hoping to find a town or anything where he can get help. He came across a gas station, get some water and food. He spotted a newspaper and does the math in his head. It'd been three months since the hellhounds came and he was dragged into Hell. He saw a sink in the corner and washes his face. Curiously, he pulled up his shirt, expecting to see his chest and stomach completely covered in scars. Instead, everything was fine. There were no scratches or scars or anything. Unsure what possessed him to do it, Dean pulled up his shirtsleeve and was shocked to find a handprint.

As he took money out of the register, the TV turned on. Dean turned around and turned it off, staring at it for a moment. Just then, the radio turned on. Dean immediately ran to the shelves, grabbed some salt, and started pouring it along the windowsill. He wasn't sure what was coming, but it couldn't be good. Dean heard a high-pitched tone and immediately tried to cover one ear while continuing to pour salt. The sound continued and Dean crouched to the floor, covering both ears. The glass in the window above his head shattered, along with all of the other glass in the small building. The noise stopped and Dean looked around, trying to find some explanation for what just happened. Finding nothing, Dean headed outside to try and call Sam.

It turned out that Sam's number had been disconnected, so Dean tried option number two. Bobby seemed to believe that Dean was just playing some sick joke on him and threatened to kill Dean if he called again. Realizing he had no other option, Dean hotwired a car so he could drive to South Dakota to talk to Bobby and hopefully find Sam.

It took some convincing, but Bobby finally believed that Dean was really there, after Bobby splashing Dean with holy water and Dean cutting himself with a silver knife. Dean asked what happened to Sam and Bobby explained that he hadn't seen Sam much since Dean had died.

Sam was alive and that was all Dean needed to hear before tracing Sam's phone to Pontiac Illinois.

* * *

Dean knocked on the hotel room door. A young woman answered.

"So where is it?"

"Where's what?" Dean asked, confused.

"The pizza," the woman said as though it were obvious. "That takes two guys to deliver?"

"I think we got the wrong room," Dean said.

At that moment, Sam came over. "Hey is—" He stopped talking as soon as he saw Dean.

"Heya, Sammy."

Sam remained silent for a moment before lunging at Dean with a knife. Dean blocked Sam and Bobby pulled him off.

"Who are you?" Sam shouted.

"Like you didn't do this?"

"Do what?"

"It's him," Bobby said trying to calm Sam down. "It's him. I've been through this already. It's really him."

Sam slowly stopped struggling. "What?"

Bobby let go of Sam. Sam took a few steps toward Dean and pulled him into a huge hug. His brother was back.

"So are you to like together?" the woman asked confused.

Sam, just remembering that she was still there. "What? No. No. He's my brother."

"Uh got it. I guess. Look, I should probably go."

"Yeah. Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Sorry," the woman said before gathering her stuff and leaving.

"So tell me, what'd it cost?" Dean asked when the woman was finally gone.

"The girl? I don't pay, Dean."

"That's not funny, Sam. To bring me back. What'd it cost? Was it your soul or was it something worse?"

"You think I made a deal?" Sam asked.

"That's exactly what we think," Bobby informed him.

"Well, I didn't."

"Don't lie to me," Dean said.

"I'm not lying."

"So what now, I'm off the hook and you're on, is that it? You're some demon's bitch-boy? I didn't want to be saved like this."

"Look, Dean, I wish I had done it, all right?"

"There's no other way that this could have gone down. Now tell the truth!"

"I tried everything. That's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right? You were rotting in Hell for months. For months, and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right? Dean, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Sammy. You don't have to apologize. I believe you."

"Don't get me wrong," Bobby said, rejoining the conversation, "I'm gladdened that Sam's soul remains intact, but it does raise a sticky question."

"If he didn't pull me out, then what did?" Dean finished.

* * *

Later, Sam had explained how after he realized that he couldn't save Dean, he went after Lilith. Both Dean and Bobby thought it was stupid that Sam decided to go all by himself. But that was in the past for now. What was more important was that Dean find out what pulled him out of Hell and why.

* * *

That's how the boys and Bobby found themselves seated around a table with one of the best psychics in the state. Pamela had set up everything for a séance so they could hopefully get closer to solving their mystery.

"I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle. I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle. I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear to be before this circle. I invoke, conjure, and command…Castiel? No sorry, Castiel, I don't scare easy."

"Castiel?" Dean asked. He knew that name. How did he know that name?

"Its name," Pamela explained. "It's whispering to me, warning me to turn back. I conjure and command you, show me your face. I conjure and command you, show me your face. I conjure and command you, show me your face. I conjure and command you, show me your face."

The noise became louder and Bobby suggested that they should stop.

"I almost got it," Pamela said, determined to keep going. "I command you, show me your face. Show me your face now!"

Suddenly, Pamela began to scream and here eyes were filled with a white hot flame. She collapsed on the floor and the noises died.

Sam scrambled out of his chair to call for help. Dean was crouched near Bobby and Pamela doing what he could to help, but still wondering why the name Castiel sounded so familiar. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he knew he should know that name from somewhere.

* * *

Dean and Bobby stood in the warehouse, protected by every symbol they knew. They had guns and knives ready just in case as they still had no idea what they were dealing with. They had planned to summon whatever it was to the barn, despite what had happened to Pamela when she saw it. Dean just had to know, not only what had pulled him out, but why he had been saved. Why him of all people?

"You sure you did the ritual right?" Dean asked.

Bobby glared at Dean.

"Sorry. Touchy, touchy, huh?"

Just then, a loud rattling shook the roof of the warehouse. Dean and Bobby stood up and grabbed their shotguns.

"Wishful thinking, but maybe it's just the wind," Dean suggested.

The door opened and a dark haired, blue eyed man wearing a business suit and trench coat walked in. The light on the ceiling shattered into sparks. Both Dean and Bobby fired their guns, but it was no use. The bullets didn't even slow down the man.

"Who are you?" Dean asked.

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition," the man replied in a deep voice. Dean, meanwhile, started to feel a slight twinge in his wrist. It wasn't much, but it was enough for Dean to actually notice it.

"Yeah, thanks for that," Dean said, grabbing the knife and stabbing the man in the chest. The man didn't even wince. Instead, the man looked down and pulled the knife out and dropped it to the floor. The man then spun Bobby around and pressed two fingers to Bobby's forehead. Bobby fell to a heap on the floor.

"We need to talk, Dean," the man said. "Alone."

Dean crouched down by Bobby and checked to make sure he still had a pulse.

"Your friend's alive," the man said.

"Who are you?" Dean asked again, noticing that the twinge in his wrist started to hurt more and more with every second.

"Castiel," the man replied simply.

"Yeah, I figured that much. I mean  _what_  are you?"

"I'm an Angel of the Lord."

"Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing," Dean said angrily, grabbing on to his wrist and rubbing it hoping to make the pain go away.

"This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith."

There was a flash of lightning and Dean looked up and could see two large shadows of what appeared to be wings.

"Some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman's eyes."

"I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be… overwhelming to humans, and so can my real voice. But you already knew that."

"You mean the gas station and the motel. That was you talking?" Castiel simply nodded. "Buddy next time, lower the volume."

"That was my mistake. Certain people, special people can perceive my true visage. I thought you would be one of them. I was wrong."

"And what visage are you in now, huh? What, holy tax accountant?"

"This?" Castiel asked. "This is a vessel."

"You're possessing some poor bastard?"

"He's a devout man, he actually prayed for this."

"Well, I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?"

Castiel frowned. "I told you."

"Right. And why would an angel rescue me from Hell?"

"Good things do happen, Dean."

"Not in my experience," Dean responded.

"What's the matter? You don't think you deserved to be saved?"

"Why'd you do it?"

"Because God commanded it."

* * *

Dean still wasn't able to completely wrap his head around the fact that this so called angel had pulled him out of Hell. Even after talking with Sam and Bobby, it didn't make any sense. And then there was the pain he felt in his wrist. Castiel had tried to explain it all, but still, nothing was making a whole lot of sense.

Castiel had told Dean that God had commanded that Dean be pulled from Hell, but why? Why after 30 years did God finally decide that Dean needed to be pulled from Hell?

* * *

"Hey, man," Sam said walking into the motel room with dinner. "I got dinner."

"Good. I'm starving," Dean said walking over to the table and taking his food.

"Anything new on the angel front?" Sam asked.

"Nope. Apparently that so called angel just had to yank me out of Hell and now its gone," Dean said wit a full mouth.

"It's still weird though. Why are angels helping you?"

"I don't know. It was weird. First, the whole angel thing. Then the pain in my wrist. I just really don't get any of it," Dean said.

"Pain in your wrist?" Sam asked, turning to face his brohter. "You never mentioned that.

"Yeah, I don't know. Just felt this sharp twinge in my wrist. Why?"

"Nothing," Sam answered quickly.

"No seriously if you got anything, I'd love to hear it."

"It's nothing," Sam promised.

"Whatever."

The truth was it wasn't nothing. If Sam was right, Dean was dealing with soulmate stuff. He remembered when he had first met Jessica and he had felt the sharp twinge in his wrist as they started talking. But it had been obvious for him and Jess. They had each other's names on their wrists. But Dean was different. He never had a name, but apparently he still felt the sharp twinge. Maybe Dean didn't even know what that meant. He had never told Sam about it and Dean was the one to explain all of that stuff to Sam seeing as their father was never home. But that still doesn't explain why Dean felt the twinge. Obviously it couldn't have been the vessel because the vessel would have its own soulmate and Dean would have just had the vessel's name. So was Dean's soulmate this angel? That made even less sense. Maybe Sam was just thinking too much into it.

The rest of the meal passed in silence as both men were left to their own thoughts.


	9. Chapter 9

"Dean! Look out!" Sam yelled, diving behind a pile of boxes to protect himself.

Dean didn't hear Sam's warning in time, and the spirit slammed Dean into the wall on the other side of the room, before he fell to the floor in a heap.

"Dean! Dean!" Sam called.

Dean shook his head, trying to get the stars that were currently dancing around his vision to disappear. Dean also noticed a new throbbing pain in his shoulder, but that could wait. He clumsily pulled himself to his feet and looked around the room. He and Sam still hadn't been able to find the necklace that had originally belonged to the spirit that was currently terrifying the current occupants of the house, but

Dean stumbled forward to continue on his mission of finding the necklace and burning it to get rid of the spirit inhabiting the house.

Sam, Dean noticed, must have got the spirit with the shotgun, as Dean could no longer see it. The only problem was they didn't have much time. Soon, the spirit would be make, and angrier than before.

"Anything?" Dean asked.

"Nothing."

"Damn it," Dean muttered. His throbbing shoulder was not making it easy. Dean ignored the pain as best as he could, but it didn't go away completely.

Dean turned around to look through some more boxes. "Shit," Dean said, before being flung at a wall again by the spirit.

"Got it!" Sam yelled, holding up the necklace triumphantly. He quickly flipped open his lighter.

"Burn it!" Dean called back, hoping that Sam would work fast enough.

A few seconds later, Dean smelled smoke. The necklace was lying on the floor on fire, and the spirit had disappeared completely.

Dean leaned his head back against the wall and breathed a deep sigh of relief. Now that the spirit was gone, he was actually able to focus on himself and realize how much pain he was truly in. His shoulder ached, he was pretty sure he had bruised a few ribs, and that's not to mention all of the other bruises that were sure to pop up. Sure, it wasn't the worst pain Dean had ever experienced. Not by a long shot. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Sam rushed over to help Dean up. Dean kept the arm of his injured shoulder close to his body, while allowing Sam to pull him up using his other arm. Dean groaned as he stood up.

"You ok, man?" Sam asked.

"Just peachy," Dean replied. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

When they got outside to the car, Dean heard a whoosh from behind him. Turning around, he found himself face to face with Castiel.

"Castiel?" Dean asked, confused.

"Yes," Castiel responded before putting two fingers to Dean's forehead.

Immediately, Dean felt better. He moved his arm around to test his injured shoulder and was surprised to find that he didn't feel anymore pain.

"Dude, what the hell?" Dean asked, still examining his body. What had just happened?

"You were hurt," Castiel responded simply.

"And what? You touch someone and they're healed?"

"Yes. I am an angel of the Lord."

"And an angel of the Lord wants to heal me why?" Dean asked skeptically. He still wasn't quite sure how he felt about angels. Was it great that they had pulled him out of hell? Yes, but that didn't mean he was going to immediately start trusting angels, even if something did feel different about Castiel.

"You were hurt," Castiel said again.

"I've been hurt plenty of times before and no angels have done a damn thing. So has Sam."

"You do not have to worry now. You are safe now," Castiel said before disappearing.

Dean stared at the spot where Castiel vanished. "What the hell does that mean?"

* * *

"Castiel, I appreciate everything you've been doing, but why are you still here?" Dean asked the angel after he came and healed Dean again.

"You needed help," Castiel responded simply.

"Yeah, I realize that. I thought you just had to pull me out of hell. Why are you sticking around?"

"Because you need help."

"Look, no offense, but I'm with Sammy and we got this."

"You were almost killed," Castiel said. If Dean had been paying more attention, he may have noticed the hint of worry in Castiel's voice. It wasn't strong, but it was still there.

"But I wasn't and it's part of the job," Dean said. He was used to it by now. After living as a hunter for his entire life, he was completely aware of the risks of what he was doing.

"I could help," Castiel suggested.

"Excuse me?" Dean asked, staring at Castiel like he was crazy. What help could an angel possibly be to a pair of hunters?

"I could watch over you."

"Yeah, thanks, but no thanks. I'll be fine."

"Dean. You need to be more careful."

"I'll be fine. You can focus on your stuff in heaven or whatever it is you do," Dean said, not admitting that he had liked having Castiel come after the hunt. It gave Dean a sense of security, something he had never really had before.

* * *

Even after the talk with Dean, Castiel continued to show up to assist Dean. However, Dean became more open to the idea of Castiel helping him and Sam, at least after the hunts. And it didn't hurt that Castiel always fully healed Dean before he left.

"Castiel? A little help here?" Dean asked applying pressure to a large gash in his head that was still producing a large amount of blood. He didn't even have to look around to know that Castiel was going to be there to help him.

Not even ten seconds later, Castiel placed two fingers on Dean's forehead, curing all of his wounds.

"Thanks for that."

"You are welcome."

* * *

Dean wasn't even out of the woods yet before he started yelling for Castiel. Now days, Castiel didn't just show up. Dean would always call him, before Castiel would even get a chance to just show up. And every time, Castiel would come and heal Dean.

Sam didn't mind, but there were a few times he had asked for Castiel's help. If the wounds were minor, Sam didn't usually say anything. Even if Dean didn't notice it, Sam definitely realized very early on that Castiel was coming for Dean and not for him.

* * *

"You know, Sammy," Dean said, as the two brothers sat in a local diner eating dinner after a hunt one night, "it is really nice having an angel around."

Sam just looked amused.

"Ok, what's that look for?" Dean asked.

"Nothing."

"Bullshit."

"Maybe," Sam admitted.

"You gonna tell me or not?"

"You don't notice it, do you?" Sam asked.

"Notice what?"

"Castiel comes for you."

"Yeah, I thought we already knew that, captain obvious."

"No, Castiel comes for you. Not for us. For you," Sam explained, trying to make it very clear what he was thinking.

"He heals you too," Dean defended.

"When the pain is bad enough and I ask for help, yes. But otherwise, he comes for you, heals you, and then leaves."

"What's your point?"

"You don't think that's weird?" Sam asked, incredulously.

"Do I think it's weird that an angel pulled me out of hell and is now healing me after hunts? Of course, but…." Dean trailed off.

"But what?" Sam prompted.

_But I like having him around_ , Dean answered in his head. "But it's not like it's a bad thing."

"I get that, but you seriously don't see anything even a little strange that Castiel comes only for you?"

"What? Are you jealous, Sammy?"

"No, I'm not jealous. I just think it's weird,"  _and that there is something else going on here_ , Sam added mentally.

"Whatever," Dean said, shaking his head. "Finish your plants and we'll go back to the room."

* * *

Castiel had just healed Dean like he always did. This time was different.

"Castiel, stick around for a while," Dean suggested.

Castiel looked puzzled.

Dean noticed the look on Castiel's face. "It's ok. If you don't want to stay, you don't have to. I was just thinking that, you know, you always come and go so quickly. And maybe for once you'd like to stay longer and hang out with us for a while," Dean rambled nervously. Why did he feel so nervous? He was never this nervous when he called Castiel to come and heal him.

"I will stay," Castiel responded.

* * *

Meanwhile, in heaven, Michael and Raphael were discussing what to do about the current situation.

"Are you positive that Castiel does not know of this?" Michael asked.

"Yes."

"But yet he continues to spend more and more time with the human."

"Yes, but I can assure you that he does not know of what is written," Raphael assured him.

"And it must remain that way," Michael emphasized. "Castiel must not know that he is the angel that will join with a human."

"And the other angels?" Raphael asked.

"Are to not know of this as well," Michael answered.


	10. Chapter 10

"Anything special?" Sam asked, opening the door of the motel room.

"Pie!" Dean called back.

Sam rolled his eyes, walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Dean stepped out of the bathroom and stared at the door for a few seconds, making sure that Sam wasn't coming back because he forgot something. It's not that Dean was embarrassed, but more that he didn't want Sam to get any more ideas than he already had.

"Castiel?" Dean asked.

A second later, Dean heard a rustle of wings. "Hello, Dean."

Dean spun around and came face to face with Castiel. Dean tried, but was unable to keep the smile from spreading on his face.

"Where is Sam?" Castiel asked, glancing around the room and noticing that Sam was not there.

"Out getting food," Dean responded simply, still staring at Castiel. Even after all of these months, Dean couldn't believe that this was the person who pulled him out of hell. And more than that, Castiel was still sticking around. Although Dean wasn't sure if he was staying because Dean kept calling him or because he wanted to stay. It didn't really matter though. What was important was that Castiel was still there.

"You can sit down," Dean said, sitting down on his own bed. Castiel sat down on Sam's bed, staring at Dean.

"Are you hunting?" Castiel asked.

Dean chuckled.

Meanwhile, Castiel looked confused. "I do not understand what's funny?"

"Nothing," Dean said. "It's just that the only times that I haven't been hunting are before my mom died and then when I was in hell. It never stops."

"You could stop hunting. It would be safer."

Dean shrugged. "Someone's gotta do it. And besides it's something I'm good at."

"What are you hunting?" Castiel asked.

"Just a spirit. Nothing major," Dean said nonchalantly.

"You need to be careful," Castiel said.

"I'm always careful," Dean insisted. "Sometimes ghosts are more powerful than me. I can't really do anything about it."

Castiel didn't respond to Dean's statement, although Dean knew that Castiel still thought that he should be more careful.

"Can I ask you something?" Dean asked after a moment. There was something that had been bugging him for awhile now.

"Of course."

"What do you do when you're not here?"

"I serve God."

"You've said that before, but what does that even mean?" Dean asked.

"I carry out God's orders. I was created to do what God commanded."

"So what, that's all you do is follow orders?"

"Yes. I was told to watch over a dying girl's family and I did. I was told to rescue you from Hell, and I did," Castiel explained.

Dean remained silent, thinking about what Castiel had just told him. Dean's phone started ringing, pulling him from his thoughts. Castiel reached over, grabbed the phone on the nightstand, and handed it over to Dean.

As Castiel handed the phone over, Dean noticed something that he hadn't seen before. Squinting, Dean looked at Castiel's wrist and realization hit him.

Dean stared at Castiel's wrist. "What is that?" Dean asked, the ringing phone completely forgotten.

"What is what?" Castiel questioned. The phone stopped ringing as the voicemail picked up.

Dean reached over, grabbed Castiel's wrist and held it up. "That?"

"It is the wrist of my vessel."

"Your vessel? You're just possessing some poor bastard?"

"Dean, we have already discussed this," Castiel reasoned.

"Yeah, well I was a little preoccupied since an angel was telling me that they yanked me out of hell," Dean said angrily.

Castiel did not know how to respond and remained quiet. Dean stood up and started pacing.

"Seriously? You are possessing some dude?"

"Yes, like I have already told you, he was a devout man and prayed for this."

Dean stopped pacing and faced Castiel. "And that makes it ok to take him from his family?"

"Dean, it is—"

"I don't care what you have to say. You can leave," Dean said, pointing toward the motel room door.

Castiel didn't make any indication that he was going to move.

"Now!" Dean yelled with more force.

Castiel stared at Dean for another second before disappearing.

Once Castiel was gone, Dean shoulders sunk as he let out a long breath. He sat down on one of the motel beds and put his head in his hands, replaying the scene in his head.

Dean didn't want Castiel to leave, in fact, Dean felt completely alone no that Castiel was gone. But, that didn't change things. Castiel was keeping someone away from their soulmate, and Dean just couldn't have that. So what if he couldn't be happy, at least someone else should.

* * *

"Where's Castiel?" Sam said, picking himself off the ground after a run in with an evil spirit later that night.

"Not coming," Dean grunted, looking for something to use to pull himself up. Finding nothing, Dean placed both of his hands on the ground and used his own strength to pull himself up.

"What do you mean he's not coming? He always comes," Sam said confused.

"Not anymore," Dean responded briefly, hoping that Sam would just drop it. He missed Castiel and really wished he was there, but Dean made his decision and so far it looked like Castiel was going to honor that decision.

Dean walked over to the Impala that was parked a few hundred feet away, near the cemetery's entrance.

"Why don't you just call him?" Sam asked following his brother to the car.

"Because he won't come."

"What?" Now Sam was even more confused. "What the hell happened?"

"Don't worry about it, Sam."

"But—"

"Drop it," Dean snaped.

Sam shut his mouth. He threw the shovel in the trunk and got into the passenger side. Dean turned on the car, stepped on the gas, and sped away from the cemetery.

* * *

Dean and Sam walked into the motel room after a long, silent, and awkward drive back. Dean pulled off his jacket and threw it over one of the chairs before walking into the bathroom and locking the door behind him. He pulled his shirt off and started to examine the damage. It had been awhile since he had had to do it himself. For the last few months, Castiel had been healing him before he even had a chance to see how bad things were. Gently prodding his skin where a bruise was starting to form, Dean started to wish Castiel were there. Once he realized what he was thinking, he forced himself to remember that this was his choice. He had told Castiel to leave, and he had to stick with that, no matter what happened.

Dean looked at himself in the mirror one more time before sighing and turning on the shower. He let the hot water roll down his body, hoping it would get rid of the pain. After ten minutes in the shower, his muscles felt a little more relaxed, but overall, he didn't feel much better. Dean turned off the shower, dried off, and got dressed.

Dean walked out of the bathroom and threw his clothes next to his duffle, figuring he could pack after Sam was done in the shower. Right now, he just wanted to rest. He sat down on his bed and leaned back against the headboard. Sam got up to go into the bathroom as Dean started flipping through the limited channels the motel offered.

Not even ten minutes later, Dean started to feel a twinge in his wrist. He grabbed it with the other hand and rubbed it, opening that feeling would go away. Unfortunately it didn't. But there wasn't really any pain so Dean just tried to push it out of his mind.

The feeling wouldn't go away and Dean started rubbing at his wrist again. Sam walked out of the bathroom and started shoving his clothes into his own duffel bag.

"When do you want to head out?" Sam asked.

Dean turned off the TV and sat up straighter, still rubbing at his wrist. "Just give me a minute."

Sam stared at his brother. "Something happen to your wrist?"

"Not sure. Just started feeling funny," Dean responded.

"Huh."

Ten minutes later, Dean and Sam checked out of their motel and began their drive to their next hunt.


	11. Chapter 11

The pain in Dean's wrist didn't go away the rest of the day. Dean just drove and didn't say anything to Sam. It wasn't a bad pain, and frankly, he had had much worse pain in his life. However, as the time went on, the pain gradually got worse as the day went on. But still, Dean could handle it. There was no need for Sam to know about it.

Luckily this new hunt wasn't too far from their previous hunt and the boys were able to get a start on the hunt almost immediately. This head start proved to be helpful,as it was nearing a full moon and that was the only time they were actually going to be able to take care of a werewolf.

Sam and Dean pulled into town and immediately went to go talk to their friend that had told them about the problem. It looked simple enough. After all, the brothers had dealt with plenty of werewolves before and this hunt should be no different.

* * *

The next day, two days after Dean had sent Castiel away, he decided he had to do something about his wrist. He had been rubbing it constantly since he noticed the pain, hoping that it would help, but there was no such luck. It just got stronger with every day that passed, to the point where it was becoming unbareable.

Dean walked out of the motel room and down the hall to the ice machine. It wasn't much, but it couldn't hurt. After filling a small bag with ice, Dean walked back to the room, grabbed a towel and sat down on the bed. He wrapped the bag in the towel and held it to his wrist.

As he held the bag of ice, Dean tried to think of what he could have possibly done to make his wrist hurt that badly. The only thing he could think of was the hunt he and Sam had just finished. He must have done something then, even if he didn't explicitly remember it.

A few minutes later, Sam came into the motel room carrying dinner. He set it down on the table and looked at his brother. "What happened?" Sam asked. He was only gone for a half hour, and yet somehow his brother had managed to injure himself.

"Must have banged up my wrist really bad on that last hunt."

"It's still bothering you?" Sam asked.

"It keeps getting worse," Dean admitted, reluctantly.

Sam was surprised. Dean never admitted that he was in pain. Ever.

"Something I can do?" Sam asked.

"I don't think so."

Sam stared at his brother for another moment before asking, "Do you want to see a doctor? I mean if it's hurting that bad—"

"No doctors," Dean responded simply. Dean tried to avoid hospitals at all costs. First, there were the normal reasons that came with being a hunter. The hospitals asked questions and often took a lot of time. But for Dean, there was another reason. If doctors found that Dean didn't have a name, they decided they needed to run more tests to figure out what was wrong with him. Dean knew there was nothing wrong with him. He just didn't have a name. There was absolutely no reason for additional tests that wouldn't even give him any information. And because it was his wrist, Dean knew there was absolutely no way that Dean could have hidden the fact that he didn't have a name.

"If it gets worse—" Sam started.

"We'll deal with that later," Dean said. "Do we know where this things gonna be?"

Sam sighed. Leave it to Dean to change the subject from himself. "I think so. If we head to the forest east of town, it should be there in two days."

"You're sure about this?" Dean said, lifting the ice and examining his wrist.

"I'm sure," Sam promised.

* * *

Dean woke up the next morning and still felt the sharp pain in his wrist. However, Dean didn't have any time to focus on that pain. He quickly jumped out of bed, ran into the bathroom, and vomited violently into the toilet.

He stayed hunched over the toilet, dry heaving for a few minutes after, just to be sure he was completely done. Dean wasn't sure what had happened, but he was sure that he did not want to live through that experience again.

* * *

Sam and Dean returned back to the motel room after grabbing some lunch at a local diner. Sam wanted to do some more research and Dean wasn't about to argue. He was still feeling like utter crap and not having to do any work sounded like a fantastic idea.

The brothers weren't even in the hotel room for ten minutes before Dean was back in the bathroom vomiting again.

"What is going on?" Sam asked when Dean emerged from the bathroom.

"Huh?

"You. You were fine a few days ago."

"I'm fine, Sam," Dean said trying to convince his brother, and himself. Dean let out a loud, strangled cough.

"Bullshit," Sam replied. "Now, seriously, what's going on with you?"

"I don't know. Everything just kinda went to hell a few days ago."

"Do you think you got something at the last motel?"

"Probably. Don't know what else it could be."

"Why don't you get Castiel?" Sam suggested.

"No," Dean responded instantly.

"Why? He healed you all those other times, maybe he could help this time," Sam reasoned.

"Because he's coming."

"Why not?" Sam persisted.

"Just leave it, Sam."

"Not until you tell me why Castiel won't come. He always did, even before you called sometimes. What's so different now?"

"I asked him to leave," Dean mumbled.

"What?" Sam asked in disbelief.

"I asked him to leave," Dean repeated, a little louder this time, although it wasn't louder by much.

"Yeah, I heard that the first time. Why'd you tell him to leave?"

"It doesn't matter."

"What did you do?" Sam persisted.

"I didn't do anything," Dean said defensively.

"Dude, just tell me what happened."

"He's possessing some guy," Dean reluctantly admitted.

"Seriously? That's what all of this is about."

"He is possessing some guy. Keeping him from his family. What was I supposed to say?" Dean said, standing up and facing Sam.

"It's just-don't you think you're being kinda hard on him?" Sam asked.

"No," Dean responded instantly.

"Dean—"

"What? If you're just going to tell me to forgive him again, forget it."

"What is such a big deal if he has to use a human vessel? Especially after everything he has done for you."

Dean let out a breath. Sure, Sam had a point, but it didn't mean Dean wanted to agree with it. "He's taking that poor man away from his family, away from his soulmate."

"So that's what all of this about?" Sam asked.

"Of course that's what all of this is about. That man has a soulmate, a family. And Castiel is taking all of that away from him. No one should have to do that," Dean explained.

"So what? You're going to just let him go and never talk him again?"

"If it means that the guy Castiel is possessing gets to go back to his family, yes."

"Even after everything he's done for you?"

"Just drop it, Sam. He's gone and he's not coming back," Dean said determinedly.

* * *

Dean woke up the next morning, still feeling nauseous, although it wasn't as bad as it was the day before. He got up, with the intention to start getting ready for the day. But as soon as he stood up, the entire world started to spin and Dean immediately reached out a hand to steady himself on the bed.

When the room stopped spinning, Dean carefully made his way to the bathroom and took a shower.

The dizziness would not leave Dean alone. Throughout the entire day, Dean was forced to reach out and grab something, or someone, to steady himself.

He made a mental note that at some point he should probably figure out what was going on. As he thought about it, Dean decided that the dizziness was probably just from all of the vomiting the day before, and that was probably from something he picked up at one of the nasty motels he and his brother stayed in. It was nothing he couldn't deal with, even if the pain in his wrist refused to go away.

* * *

Dean was asleep on one of the beds. Even while Dean slept, Sam could tell that his brother was in pain.

Sam stepped out of the motel room, quietly closing the door behind him. His brother was stubborn. There was absolutely no denying that. But Sam knew that he had to do something.

Sam looked around the empty motel parking lot. He took a deep breath, still not sure if this was going to work at all. But it was worth a shot. "Castiel?" Sam called hesitantly. Sam stood still for a minute, waiting.

"Castiel?" Sam tried again, this time speaking a little louder.

Again, there was no response.

"Come on, Castiel. Look, I know Dean said he didn't want to see you again, but he's really hurting. Please, can you just come and help him? Please?" Sam begged. He wasn't sure having Castiel come would help his brother, but that was the only thing that had changed since Dean started getting sick.

Sam still had his suspicions about Dean and Castiel. And if he was right, then the only thing that was going to make Dean better was having Castiel there. As crazy as it was, Sam knew that soulmates couldn't spend that much time apart without contact. Sam remembered when Jessica was still around. They couldn't go without contact for more than twenty-four hours without noticing a difference, even if that contact was just talking on the phone.

It had been almost four days, and Sam couldn't even imagine how bad Dean was really hurting. The longest Sam had been away from Jess after they met and before she died was two days and that was because a storm knocked out power while Jess was visiting her family over a break. Those two days were torturous and Sam didn't even want to think about going for longer than that. And besides, Sam knew his brother, whatever pain he was in was significantly worse than what Dean was admitting to, and Dean was already admitting to being in a lot of pain.

Sam glanced around the parking lot one final time, before accepting the fact that Castiel was not going to come. Sam let out a sigh in frustration. "Why can't you just come and help Dean?!" Sam said angrily, before returning back to the motel room

* * *

"Dean?" Sam said, gently shaking his brother in an attempt to wake him up. Dean had been absolutely exhausted when they came back from lunch and decided he was just going to lie down so he could have more energy for the hunt. Tonight was the full moon and the only chance they'd have to take care of the werewolf.

"What?" Dean answered weakly, barely cracking his eyes open.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fantastic," Dean responded in his normal sarcastic tone.

"Seriously? You nearly passed out on me yesterday. I don't want you passing out on a hunt."

"I'll be fine, Sam," Dean said, swinging his legs over the bed and standing up. The dizziness was still there, but Dean knew he was just going to have to push through it. The werewolf had to be taken care of tonight.

Dean walked over to the chair and put on the jacket that was draped over it. "You ready?" Dean asked, as he fished the keys out of his pocket.

The drive to the forest was quiet, with both brothers deep in their own thoughts. After parking the Impala, Dean and Sam started their trek into the woods. Dean kept trying to focus on the task at hand, but it was proving to be difficult. He just couldn't stay focused. There were too many other things on his mind.

The two brothers walked for a half hour before they came to the same clearing they had visited yesterday. They stood there, guns ready and loaded with silver bullets, just waiting. Dean was still trying to focus his attention on the hunt, but his mind kept pulling him in other directions. Sam, meanwhile, heard some branches snap.

"Dean, behind you!" Sam yelled.

Dean whipped around and fired. The werewolf had moved just in time to avoid Dean's bullet and took off running toward the trees.

Sam had come over by his brother. "Come on. Get your head in it."

"Yeah. Sorry," Dean said, before running toward the trees where the werewolf was. Sam ran after his brother, hoping that his brother would be focusing better now.

Dean knew that he was off his game tonight. He had been sick for the last two days, and earlier today, he had been ready to pass out. He was still dealing with a few dizzy spells, but they weren't as frequent as they were earlier in the day. And then there was everything with Castiel. Dean, now more than ever, was questioning if he did the right thing. He missed Castiel, but he wasn't sure if he could forgive Castiel. It was just a lot to think about. Maybe—

"Dean!"

This time, Dean wasn't fast enough. The werewolf reached out one of his giant arms and scratched Dean across his face. The contact caught Dean by surprise and gave the werewolf a chance to grab Dean, pick him up, and throw him across the forest, where he hit a tree and slumped to the ground.

"Dean! Dean!" Sam called out, but his brother remained completely immobile.

Without wasting another second, Sam spun around to face the werewolf. Sam took aim and fired, hitting the werewolf square in the heart. The werewolf dropped to the ground, unmoving.

With the hunt finished and the werewolf dead, Sam ran over to where his brother lay crumpled in a heap of the ground. "Dean? Dean? DEAN!" Sam yelled frantically, hoping his brother would wake up. But Dean didn't even flinch. Sam moved his fingers along Dean's neck, trying to find a pulse. It was there, but it was so weak that Sam was worried that it was going to stop at any second.

Sam knew he had to get his brother to a hospital, and fast. There was blood still pouring out from where the werewolf struck him. Dean leg was bent at an unnatural angle and Sam knew it was going to be a challenge to get Dean to the car without injuring him further.

Sam moved to lift his brother when he heard something rustle and quickly turned around. He was surprised to see Castiel walking toward him.

"Castiel?" Sam asked, still not believing that the angel was actually there.

"Hello, Sam," Castiel responded without taking his eyes off of Dean. Castiel walked over and placed two fingers on Dean's forehead, just like he had done many times previous.

Almost instantly, Dean opened his eyes and Sam ran over to his brother.

"Dean? Dean? Are you alright?" Sam asked frantically.

"What? Yeah," Dean responded, trying to figure out what had just happened. He remembered the werewolf coming at him, but everything was black after that.

"Thank god."

"What happened?" Dean asked. Dean looked past Sam and saw Castiel standing a few feet behind Sam. His eyes widened. There was absolutely no reason for Castiel to be there. Unless, Castiel had decided to not listen to Dean and come and help him anyway.

Sam noticed that Dean wasn't looking at him any more, and was instead focusing on Castiel. "He healed you," Sam explained quickly. Even when Sam talked, Dean did not take his eyes off of Castiel.

"Thanks," Dean said in a small voice. He wasn't completely sure if he was ready to forgive Castiel, but he was still grateful that Castiel had come back even though Dean made it clear that he never wanted to see Castiel again.

"You are welcome," Castiel responded, still not taking his eyes off Dean.

Dean pulled himself to his feet and wiped the dirt from his hands on his jeans. He was still angry with Castiel, but Dean knew that he would have had to talk to Castiel at some point. And since Castiel was already here, now seemed like as good of time as ever. "Sam? Could you give us a minute?"

"Sure. Uh, I'll take the stuff and meet you by the car," Sam said, glancing between Dean and Castiel. Sam picked up the guns and headed back toward where they had parked the car.

Once Sam was out of sight, Dean wasted no time in asking questions. "Why did you come?"

"You were hurt," Castiel said simply.

"I got hurt on my last hunt and you didn't come then," Dean replied.

"You asked me to stay away from you."

"But you still came this time."

"Your injuries were much more serious this time. You needed help."

"Sam would have gotten me to a hospital."

"It would not have been fast or accurate enough. If I came and healed you, you would be healed faster and not have any lasting damage," Castiel explained.

"Yeah, well, thanks for that," Dean muttered.

Castiel turned around and started walking away.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked.

Castiel turned around and said, "The last we spoke, you told me that you didn't want to see me again. I am keeping that request."

"Ok," Dean sighed. Castiel was right. Dean had said that he never wanted to see Castiel again, but now that he was here, Dean wasn't sure that he wanted him to leave. Castiel had started walking away again.

"Wait!" Dean called. Castiel stopped and turned around to face Dean once more.

"What is it?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

Dean took a deep breath. "Are you really keeping that guy away from his soulmate?" Dean asked hesitantly.

"No," Castiel responded simply.

Dean was prepared for Castiel to answer yes. He had a whole speech planned in his head for that. But hearing no. That was definitely not what Dean was expecting to hear at all.

"Wait. What?"

"I am not keeping this man from his soulmate."

"How does that even work? The guy has a soulmate. I've seen his wrist. There is definitely a name there," Dean argued. There was just no logical explanation for it. At least, no logical explanation that Dean could come up with.

"His soulmate passed away nearly two years ago," Castiel responded.

"She died?"

"Yes. When his soulmate passed, he prayed for this."

"Why?"

"So he could help others."

Dean had to take a minute to process what Castiel had just told him. Castiel's vessel's soulmate was dead. Castiel's vessel prayed for this so he could help others. Castiel wasn't keeping a poor man from his soulmate. Castiel was doing exactly what the man had wanted.

"I'm sorry," Dean admitted quietly.

"I forgive you," Castiel responded.

Dean stared at Castiel for a moment before he asked, "So, Sam and I are gonna go get something to eat. You wanna come?"


	12. Chapter 12

"You wanted to talk to me?" Raphael asked.

"Yes," Michael responded, looking up at Raphael. "We seem to have problems."

"And that is?"

"You said that they would not be together," Michael said.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Castiel and the human. They were supposed to drift apart on their own. That is not happening."

"I believed that after the human discovered that Castiel was using a vessel, that he would not want to see Castiel anymore," Raphael reasoned. "I did not think they would still speak after their argument."

"It appears that the human has moved past that detail and now they are together more than ever."

"I think we may have to get involved," Raphael suggested.

"I agree," Michael decided. "But  _we_  do not have to. Not yet, anyway."

"What do you have in mind?"

* * *

"Come on, Cas. What do you say?" Dean asked, looking expectantly at Castiel.

"I have to be in heaven," Castiel replied.

"And you're sure you can't just skip it and stay here and help with this?"

"I'm sorry, Dean. They aren't happy as it is that I'm spending so much time down here."

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head. "That's stupid. But I guess we'll see you later then."

"Good bye, Dean," Castiel replied before disappearing.

Sam smirked as Dean stood there staring at the spot where Cas had disappeared.

"What's so funny?" Dean asked turning around.

"What? Nothing," Sam said, trying to cover it up by looking at something on his laptop.

"Whatever," Dean said, pulling up a chair and sitting by Sam at the small table in their motel room. "So what's going on with this ghost?"

"So get this, there's been three deaths in the same area in the last ten years. Officially, everything's been ruled a suicide."

"But?" Dean prompted.

"But they've all died in the same way. All hangings in the same apartment."

"Ok. Let's go talk to the landlord," Dean said, pushing back on his chair and standing up from the table.

Sam closed his laptop and grabbed his jacket that was hanging over the backside of the chair.

* * *

Dean and Sam walked back into the hotel room after taking care of another vengeful spirit.

"I'm going to go get cleaned up and see if Cas wants to stop by," Dean told Sam.

Sam's smirked didn't go unnoticed by Dean. "Seriously, what is your problem?"

"Me? Nothing," Sam responded innocently.

"That's bullshit," Dean said bluntly. "Just like this morning."

Sam just smirked and shook his head.

"Seriously, dude."

"Ok. Fine. Um. Have you ever given any thought to the idea that you and Castiel might be – well, soulmates?" Sam asked awkwardly. It was one thing to have suspicions in his head, but something else entirely to confront Dean about his suspicions.

"Excuse me?" Dean asked while looking at his brother as if he had sprouted a second head.

"Well you know, all these things keep happening and it just seems more and more likely that…" Sam trailed off.

"So let me get this straight, you think me and Cas are soulmates?" Dean asked, still not believing Sam one bit.

"It all fits."

"Care to explain that to me, then?"

"The pain in your wrist, you got sick that time when you and Castiel fought and didn't talk for a few days. What more proof do you need?"

Dean pulled up his sleeve and held out his wrist toward Sam. "See this? It's blank. Always has been. Always will be. I don't have a soulmate."

"But everything else—"

"Is just a coincidence. All of my joints hurt at some time or another. It's just part of the job. And getting sick? Have you seen some of the motel rooms we stay in? I probably just picked something up from there."

"Dean, just hear me out for one minute. Please," Sam pleaded.

"Fine, Sammy. Humor me," Dean said, pulling a chair out from the table and sitting down.

"When I first met Jess, the pain in my wrist was so strong it hurt. Just like yours did. And if we ever went for a while without talking we would both get sick. There was one time she was visiting her family and a huge snowstorm hit. If we at least talked on the phone, we were fine. But the storm knocked out their power so it was two days before we could finally talk again and both of us were sick by that point. But after we talked, everything was fine. It's just like when you and Castiel were fighting. After you guys talked, you were just fine. Dean, it all fits."

"You have completely lost it," Dean said shaking his head.

"Dean—"

"What do you want me to say, Sam?" Dean asked angrily as he stood up from the chair. "You want to believe all this crap, fine. But I know it's a load of crap. It's all just coincidence."

"After everything you see everyday, you're still going to think something like this is just coincidence?"

"Yeah, because I know the truth and that's that some angel is not my soulmate."

"Come on—"

"Just drop it, Sam," Dean said before walking across the small hotel room and slamming the bathroom door behind him.

Dean leaned forward on the bathroom sink, and let out a deep breath. There was no way Sam could be right, could there?  _No_ , Dean reminded himself,  _I do not have a soulmate_. Dean had spent so much of his life trying to convince himself that one day his name would appear. After he gave up on that dream, he started working on trying to convince himself that it didn't matter that he was different and wouldn't have a soulmate. But now, he was being forced to actually think about the possibility, even if it was completely absurd. No, Dean concluded, there was no way some angel could be his soulmate. That just wasn't possible.

* * *

Sam watched his brother slam the bathroom door. He knew Dean was pissed at him, but thankfully, it wouldn't stay like that for long. Dean just couldn't stay mad at him. But knowing that Dean wouldn't stay mad at him for very long didn't give Sam much reassurance. Why couldn't Dean just look at the facts? Everything made sense and it was definitely more than a coincidence but Dean couldn't see that. Didn't he want to be happy?

Sam sat down on his bed wondering if there was a different way he could try and talk to Dean. Dean would probably try and forget about it, but Sam knew he had to get through to Dean. The only problem was Sam didn't know how he was supposed to get through to Dean.

Fifteen minutes later, Dean emerged from the bathroom. "All yours," Dean said shortly as he walked over to his bed. Without saying a word, Sam walked over to his stuff, grabbed a shower kit and a change of clothes before heading into the bathroom.

Once Sam was in the bathroom, Dean let out a long deep breath. He knew Sam wouldn't just drop the subject. Moreover, Dean would have to be on alert so he could avoid any and all of Sam's attempts at convincing Dean that Cas was his soulmate.


	13. Chapter 13

"For the love of—" Dean grunted, rubbing at his wrist and sitting up in bed. He could never remember having this many problems with his wrist, or any body part for that matter, when he was younger. So why now all of the sudden did his body decide it was going to make Dean's wrist throb in pain every now and then. What was worse was that Dean forgot how much pain his wrist could cause, since it wasn't as if hi wrist was constantly in pain.

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the pain and focus on something else, but he just couldn't do it. The pain was there and it was going to make its presence known.

Grimacing and knowing that he wasn't going to be getting anymore sleep tonight thanks to his wrist, Dean got up and decided he would get a head start on the research. So far, they had very little to go on. Just that three different men had all been found dead in their own homes while their doors were locked from the inside. It wasn't much, but it was enough for Sam and Dean to know they had a case here.

While Sam slept, Dean started searching through police records to try and find out what could have possibly connected three victims.

After nearly two hours of researching and finding a whole lot of nothing, Dean decided he needed a break from staring at the computer screen, Dean grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair, double checked that the keys to the Impala were in his pocket along with a room key, and headed out to get some breakfast for him and Sam.

On the drive, the throbbing in his wrist seemed determined, more than ever, to make its presence known. Dean had tried everything he could think of, ice, heat, pain medication, but nothing seemed to help the pain. All Dean kept thinking was that he hoped it would get better. The other times he had had pain, the pain had been strong, but always went away on its own and that's all Dean could hope for.

Dean pulled the Impala back into the motel parking lot after getting his and his brother's usual breakfasts. It was nothing special, but that was life on the road. Breakfast from whatever local diner they were near and a crappy cup of coffee. But it could be worse, there were days growing up when Dean would have given anything to have this type of breakfast.

Dean opened the door to the motel room as quietly as he could in an effort to not wake his brother. It turned out that Dean wouldn't have had to be quiet as Sam was already up and researching at the table. Dean remained silent and set the breakfast down on the table.

"You're up early," Sam commented as Dean opened the to go box containing his breakfast.

"Couldn't sleep," Dean replied shortly.

Sam didn't say anything. Instead, he reached over into the bag and took out the food Dean had brought back for him. Sam opened his box and dug in as Dean started explaining what he had figured out about the hunt.

"So I was looking into it this morning and there's not much of anything connecting these three guys," Dean said, rubbing his wrist.

"Your wrist bothering you again?"

Dean instantly let go of his wrist. "What? No, I'm fine," Dean lied.

"That's bullshit."

"Ok. Fine. Yeah, my wrist is bothering me, but it's not a big deal."

Sam glared at Dean.

"It's fine. I swear. Now can we just focus on the hunt?"

"Fine. So they got nothing in common?"

"As far as I can tell. Different social circles, different jobs, different everything. They didn't even live near each other."

"Well that's just fantastic," Sam said, taking over the computer. Hopefully he could find something that Dean had overlooked.

"Tell me about it."

Sam's searching did little to help their progress. Sam and Dean finished up breakfast, got changed, and headed out to talk to the families to see if they could find some kind of connection to figure out what could have been killing these men.

* * *

The next day, Dean was worse. Sam had woken up to the sound of Dean vomiting in the bathroom. Sam stumbled out of bed, over to bathroom and saw his brother hunched over the toilet, emptying all of the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

"You ok?" Sam asked before mentally slapping himself. Of course his brother wasn't ok, and knowing Dean, he was probably going to say something along the lines of 'it's fine' or 'it's nothing, just go get breakfast'.

"Yeah. Must've just ate something funny. Be out in a –" The end of Dean's sentence was cut off by his need to vomit.

There was nothing Sam could do except stand there and watch his brother and that killed him. He wanted to be able to be there to help Dean, just like Dean had helped him growing up, but there was nothing he could do.

After what seemed like an eternity, Dean flushed the toilet and clumsily stood up. He started to tip over and reached out to grab the counter for support, but Sam was there before he could even grab the counter.

"Just take it easy," Sam said.

"I'm fine," Dean insisted, shaking Sam off.

"That's crap and you know it."

"I'm fine. Can we please just finish this hunt?" Dean asked, walking passed Sam to the small table in the motel room.

Sam sighed, cursing his brother's stubbornness. Couldn't Dean see how much pain he was really in? Sam knew his brother had always been that way and had no doubt that it would ever change. But this, assuming Sam was correct, Dean could fix. All he needed was Cas and Dean would be ok again.

"Hey Dean?" Sam asked.

"I'm fine, Sam," Dean replied, not looking up from the file he was reading.

"That's not what I was going to ask."

"Fine. What?" Dean asked, looking up at his brother.

"When was the last time you talked to Cas?"

"I dunno. Few days, why?"

"Have you tried calling him?"

"What is your problem?"

"Just answer the question," Sam begged.

"Yeah. He's just probably just busy or something."

That was different. Cas always came when Dean called. Always. He even came when Dean didn't call.

"It doesn't strike you as strange that he hasn't stopped by?"

"Not really," Dean responded, going back to the file he was reading.

Sam walked over to the table and sat down. "Seriously?"

Dean looked up. "Yeah, seriously. Cas is probably just busy or something. No need for to get your panties in a knot."

"You're impossible," Sam muttered, reaching over to open his laptop. Hopefully they could crack this case soon.

* * *

The day after that wasn't much better. Dean was not only puking his guts out, but was also repeatedly nearly passing out. Thankfully Sam was there to catch him before he hit the ground.

"Seriously, that's the third time you've nearly passed out on me," Sam said as he supported his brother as he tried to stand on his own.

"Sorry," Dean muttered. Sam, still supporting Dean, started walking back to the Impala. "Wait, we have to go the other way. We gotta talk to the chick's dad."

"You nearly just passed out on me. Again."

"I'm fine, Sammy. Come on we can finish this hunt," Dean insisted.

"Not like this we can't. Even if we find out where she's buried, how're we going to take care of it."

"You can dig," Dean pointed out.

"Yeah, and what's going to happen when you pass out again and the spirit comes? Then what?"

Dean hadn't thought about that. As much as he wanted to finish this, he knew he couldn't just let Sam go out there unprotected. Very reluctantly, Dean admitted, "You're right."

Dean shook Sam's grip off and moved toward the driver's seat.

"No way," Sam said.

"Excuse me."

"How many times do I have to remind you that you nearly just passed out on me for the  _third_  time today?"

"But I'm fine now."

"And what happens if you get another dizzy spell while you're driving? You gonna just crash your car?"

Dean scowled and moved out of the way. He tossed Sam the keys and said, "I'm sorry, baby. It's just a one time thing. I promise."

Sam just rolled his eyes. Only Dean would apologize to his car for not driving it. Sam got in and turned on the car, while Dean reluctantly got in to the passenger side. It just felt wrong riding in the passenger seat. He hadn't done that in a long time. Well, actually, as Dean thought about it, it had been a couple of months when Sam had convinced him not to drive because he was passing out that day.

"Since we're not finishing the hunt tonight, what are we doing?" Dean asked.

"Dunno. Trying to keep you from passing out?" Sam joked.

"Not funny."

"It's a little funny."

Dean just glared at his brother, angry at the entire predicament.

"Why don't you call Cas and see if he could drop by?"  _and maybe cure your sickness_ , Sam added mentally.

"I already told you, he's probably busy or something."

"Try again," Sam insisted.

Ten minutes later, Sam was pulling the Impala into the motel parking lot. Sam and Dean got out and started walking toward their room. "Keys?" Dean asked, extending a hand.

"Where do you plan on going?"

"Nowhere. I just want my keys."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Fine. Here," Sam said, handing over his keys.

Dean opened the motel room and sat down on a chair. He was starting to feel dizzy again and didn't want to give Sam another reason to freak out.

"So you gonna call Cas or what?" Sam asked.

"Uh yeah. Just give me a minute," Dean responded. He took a couple of deep breaths and tried to clear his head.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. Fine. Hey, Cas? You wanna come down here?" Dean asked. He really, really hoped that Cas would come. It had been nearly four days and while Dean would never admit it to Sam, he was really starting to miss Cas.

Sam and Dean both waited, hoping that Cas would show up. After a minute, Dean looked at Sam and gave him a look that said "told you he wasn't coming".

Sam remained silent. Seriously, where was Cas? "Um, so you want me to go get dinner or something?"

"Sure. I'll take a burger. Extra onions."

"I know. Can I have the keys?"

"Fine," Dean said, tossing them over. "Don't mess up my car."

"I won't. Be back soon."

Dean watched Sam leave the motel room. He stared across the empty room, still hoping that Cas would show up. "Come on, Cas. Please?" Dean hated that he sounded like he was begging, but there was nothing else he could do.

"Please, Cas." Unsurprisingly, Dean didn't get a response. "Where are you, man?"

Cas still wasn't answering and it was really starting to scare Dean. Cas had always come, but now there was nothing. What if something had happened to him?

* * *

Sam stepped outside of the motel room and closed the door behind him. He walked over to the Impala and leaned against it. What the hell was he supposed to do? His brother was hurting, even if Dean wouldn't admit it.

"Castiel!" Sam called, hoping the angel was listening. He didn't know what else to do. This wasn't like last time. Dean and Cas were still on good terms, yet it seemed like Cas wasn't coming to help Dean, something that was completely unlike Castiel. "Come on, man. Dean needs you. You might not need him, but he needs you. Just help him!" Sam waited for nearly two minutes before accepting that Cas just wasn't coming. All Sam could say was that there was going to be hell to pay once Cas did finally decided to show up.


	14. Chapter 14

Dean was getting worse with each hour that passed and Sam was at a loss of what to do. It had been nearly a week and despite each brother's begging, the angel was nowhere to be found.

Sam had called Bobby and had all but begged him to come out to Tennessee and to finish the hunt for them. There was no way that Dean could hunt in his condition. When Bobby got to their motel room, he took one look at Dean and didn't question finishing the hunt. Sam, meanwhile worked on trying to find some way to cure his brother that didn't involve seeing Castiel.

Unfortunately, as far as Sam could tell there was no other way. Even all of the medical sites said there was no way. Of course there were things you could to help the pain, but there was nothing to flat out cure it. Sam had yet to share any of this information with Dean, partly because Dean didn't believe he had a soulmate and partly because he didn't want to freak Dean out.

Sam glanced over to the bed where Dean had spent the last day and a half. Staring at his brother, Sam was strongly considering bringing Dean to a hospital. Sam knew Dean would protest it and that he would have to deal with the inevitable questions, but he didn't have a lot of options at the moment.

It also didn't help that Sam didn't know what to expect. There wasn't much information about what would happen if a person went more than a week and a half without seeing their soulmate. IN fact there wasn't any information about what would happen if Dean went more that twelve days and Sam really didn't want Dean to be the first person to experience it. He had dealt with enough in his life. He didn't need that.

Sam heard a knock on the door and moved to get it. He grabbed the knife that was sitting on the chair. He got the knife ready as he opened the door, just in case.

"You tryin' to stab me boy?"

"Sorry, Bobby. Didn't realize it was you. Come on in," Sam said, stepping aside.

"How is he?" Bobby asked as he stepped into the room and looked at Dean who was still asleep on the bed. Bobby could tell that it wasn't a relaxing sleep. There was a look of pain etched in Dean's face.

"He just keeps getting worse. I don't know what to do," Sam admitted.

"Any ideas as to why he's like that. It's gotta be bad if it can make Dean stop hunting," Bobby commented, staring at the elder Winchester.

"I've got on idea," Sam said before explaining his whole theory about how Dean really does have a soulmate and that his soulmate was the angel that had pulled him out of Hell.

"How do you think do you think I look?"

"But it all fits," Sam protested. Someone had to believe him. He couldn't really be that crazy, could he? "The pain, the needing to be together, the sickness when he's not around. What more proof do you need?"

Bobby sighed. He wasn't sure he wanted to believe Sam, or if he even could, but he had to admit that Sam made a good argument. "You talk to your brother about it?"

"He thinks I'm crazy."

"I don't blame him."

"But all the evidence—"

"Sam, just listen for a minute. Your brother's gone his whole life believing he's gonna be alone and he's got every reason to and now you expect him to just believe you when you say he's got a soulmate? Are you really that stupid?"

"When you put it like that," Sam muttered.

"Just think things through next time before you try convincing your brother of these things."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "But, if I'm right, then all he needs is Cas to show up. It worked last time."

"It's been this bad before," Bobby asked, his voice full of concern.

"It wasn't this bad. It was about three days, but once Cas came back, Dean was fine."

"I see."

"But Cas won't come. I don't know why, but he's just not coming," Sam explained.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know. If I'm right, there's nothing we can do. Only having Cas there would help him."

"And if you're not right?" Bobby asked.

"Then I don't know. Even if it gets worse, Dean won't let me take him to a hospital. But the thing is, his symptoms, they all line up perfectly with someone who hasn't seen their soulmate for a period of time."

"So what're you gonna do? Just wait it out?"

"That seems to be all I can do."

Before Sam and Bobby's conversation could continue any farther, Dean started groaning loudly.

"Dean?" Sam asked, moving closer to the bed. Every time his brother had woken up, he had been in more pain, he'd felt more nauseous, and he'd felt more light headed. Sam did his best, but he could barely get his brother to keep water down, let alone actual food. Dean just kept getting weaker and there was nothing Sam could do to stop it.

"Sam, it hurts," Dean whimpered. If Bobby wasn't concerned just by looking at Dean, he was sure concerned now. Dean never admitted he was in pain, so Bobby was sure that the pain had to be bad.

"I'm sorry Dean, but I can't give you anything more. You just took some stuff an hour ago."

"It hurts, Sammy."

"I know it does, but you gotta just keep fighting this," Sam encouraged, his heart breaking at how miserable Dean sounded.

"How long has he been like this?" Bobby asked.

"Well, it's been like this for the last two and a half days, but the lesser stuff started eight days ago."

"Balls," Bobby said angrily. It was way worse than he could have anticipated.

"I know," Sam agreed, his attention still focused on his brother.

"Make it stop," Dean begged. "Sam, make it stop."

"I'm trying, Dean. I'm trying, but there's not much I can do."

"Get Cas," Dean said. "Get Cas, he can fix it."

Sam froze. That was the first time throughout all of this that Dean had mentioned Cas.

"I want Cas. Where is he?" Dean asked through the pain.

"I don't know, Dean."

"I want him. He'll make the pain go away."

Sam didn't know what he was supposed to say. He knew that having Cas there would completely cure Dean. But Sam couldn't get Castiel and Sam knew that before Dean had gotten to this state, he had prayed and asked for Cas to get down here. But for whatever reason, Cas was ignoring them. All Sam could hope was that this begging on Dean's part would get Castiel here.

"Bobby, what do I do?" Sam asked, turning to face the elder hunter.

Bobby just shook his head. "I don't know, Sam. All you can do is hope that that angel gets its ass down here."

"And if he doesn't?"

"One problem at a time, Sam."

* * *

As it turned out, Castiel was still ignoring the Winchesters and Dean just kept getting worse. Bobby had decided that he would stick around at least until Dean got better.

It had been ten days since Dean had seen Cas and Dean was in near unbearable pain.

"Make it stop," Dean begged.

"I'm trying, Dean. But you gotta hold on. Bobby'll be back soon," Sam promised. Bobby had left about forty five minutes ago after deciding that neither he nor Sam could sit and just watching Dean suffer. Despite how much Sam wanted to take his brother to a hospital, Bobby managed to convince him otherwise.

_"They'll be able to help him more than we can," Sam argued._

_"But they won't help him until they run a million tests on him. He doesn't have a name and even if we make one up, they're not stupid enough to fall for it. Believe me, we tried plenty of times growing up."_

_"But they can give him something for the pain. All we can do is just sit here and watch him suffer. Is that what you want?"_

"No and stop turning this back on me! I want to take him to a hospital. But what are we supposed to say. 'Hi my brother doesn't have a name on his wrist but all of his symptoms for the last day and a half line up perfectly with what happens when a person doesn't have contact with their soulmate'? How the hell would we supposed to explain this to them?"

_Sam sighed and sank back in his chair. "I know you're right, but what else are we supposed to do?"_

"I could see if I could get some morphine or something from the hospital."

_"You're going to break into a hospital?" Sam asked._

" _Wouldn't be the first time," Bobby responded passively. "I'll be back soon. Keep an eye on your brother."_

"I will. Just hurry."

"But Sam, it hurts. It really fucking hurts. I think it's getting worse."

"What's getting worse?"

"Everything. It all hurts."

"Bobby'll be back soon. Just hang on."

"Want Cas here," Dean muttered.

"I know, Dean. I know."

Thankfully, it was not even two minutes after that that Bobby walked through the door.

"Thank God," Sam said, clearing some space by the bed so Bobby could get everything set up.

It took less than ten minutes for Bobby to get everything set up. Now all they could do was wait and hope that the drugs would at least numb the pain a little. Dean had a high pain tolerance, but that didn't mean that right now he wouldn't pass up something that would help with the pain.

An hour later, Sam asked, "How you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a truck," Dean muttered.

"Is the medicine helping?"

"A little."

"That's good."

"Still hurts though," Dean added.

"I know," Sam said. "Hopefully you get through this soon."

"Any word from Cas?" Dean asked hopefully.

"Sorry dude." Sam really was sorry. He knew that was the only way to help his brother and he couldn't control it. Yeah, Sam was definitely going to hurt that bastard when he decided to finally show up.

""snot your fault. He's probably busy."

Sam remained silent. Only his brother would say something like that. Most people would just whine and complain, sort of like how Sam had been acting. But no, Dean was convinced that Cas was just busy and that seeing him could wait.

* * *

"This plan seems to be working well."

"I would have to agree, Michael. With any luck, the human will be dead soon."

"Hopefully, as long as the angels don't fail."

"They won't," Michael said to Raphael confidently. "I'm sure of it."


	15. Chapter 15

"Sam, I want Cas," Dean groaned through the pain. That was all Dean had said to both Sam and Bobby for the last few hours and each time it broke Sam's heart more to tell his brother that he couldn't have Cas.

"I know you do, Dean. Bobby and I are working on it," Sam promised.

"I want Cas, Sammy. I need him," Dean repeated, sounding more desperate than before. It had been two weeks since Dean and Cas had had any contact with each other and Sam and Bobby were doing everything they could to help Dean.

"We're trying." Sam turned to Bobby who was researching something on the internet, hoping he would find a cure for Dean. Sam and Bobby had been alternating who researched and who took care of Dean for the past couple days. Unfortunately, there wasn't a whole lot of information out there. They were doing everything they could medically, but what they really needed was Dean's soulmate. But Cas hadn't been answering their prayers for the last two weeks, despite countless attempts from Dean, Sam, and Bobby.

"Anything?" Sam asked, hopefully. With every hour that passed, it was harder to keep up hope. Sam had already dealt with three months of Dean being dead. He wasn't ready to spend the rest of his life without Dean.

Bobby did his best to ignore Dean's pleas. "Maybe," Bobby responded.

"Really? What is it?" That was the closest they had been to any type of solution since they started researching.

"A summoning ritual," Bobby said simply.

"Summoning ritual? You mean like—"

"Like summoning a demon, yeah."

"Can you really do that with an angel?" Sam didn't even think that was possible, but he was willing to try anything if it meant that his brother would get better.

"Seem like you can. Just a little bit different ritual."

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's do it," Sam said, ready to follow all of Bobby's orders so they could do the ritual right away.

"Sam," Bobby said, hesitantly. "There's a possibility that this won't work. You've gotta understand that."

"But we've gotta at least try it, Bobby. After how many days of research, this is the only thing we've got. You can't tell me that you just want to give up."

"I don't wanna give up. I just want you to be aware that there is a possibility that this won't work."

"Yeah. But what other choice do we have? Letting Dean die? Now come on. What do we need?" Sam asked, impatiently. The sooner his brother was better, the better.

* * *

Sam dropped the match into the mixture and held his breath. This just had to work. If this didn't, Sam had no idea what else he could do. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

When he opened them, Sam saw Castiel standing there, looking the same as he always did. While it seemed that Dean was suffering, it appeared that Cas hadn't gone through any type of pain or sickness. Maybe Dean and Cas weren't soulmates? No, Sam had decided as soon as the thought crossed his mind. They had to be soulmates. After everything Dean had gone through in the past few months, there was no other explanation for it.

"Where have you been?" Sam asked angrily. Part of Sam was relieved because maybe now, his brother might actually get better, but the other part of him wanted to murder the bastard for doing this to his brother.

"I've been busy."

"That's never stopped you before," Sam pointed out.

"Where I've been is not important." Cas glanced at Dean who seemed to be doing much better now that Cas was in the room. He was still asleep, but even from a distance, Sam could tell that his brother was a lot more relaxed, even if he didn't know that Cas was there.

Cas crossed the room and stood next to Dean.

"He's needed you, you know," Sam said, a little calmer now that he could tell that his brother was doing better. Although, it didn't mean that Sam was completely ready to trust Cas with everything again. After all, Cas had just left his brother for two weeks without any kind of contact.

"I know, Sam."

"Then why haven't you been here?" Sam snapped.

Cas ignored Sam and reached out two fingers. He gently placed them on Dean's forehead, presumably to fix some of the damage. After holding the fingers there for a few seconds, Castiel frowned.

Sam and Bobby both seemed to notice this. "What's wrong?" Sam asked, nervously. This was supposed to fix Dean completely. Dean had to be fixed completely. If an angel couldn't heal him, how bad was the damage?

"I can't fix him."

"What do you mean you can't fix him?" Bobby asked.

"I mean, there is damage. I can fix some, but it will take time for Dean to heal on his own."

"You're an angel. Isn't this supposed to be what you do?" Sam asked. Sam resisted the urge to yell at Cas because this was all his fault. If he could have just popped in every day, just for a minute or two, Dean wouldn't be in this situation.

"Cas?" Dean asked quietly, although it was unclear if it was because he knew that Cas was there or if he was just asking for Cas like he had been for the past few days.

"Hello, Dean."

"Cas?" Dean asked again, his voice full of shock when he noticed that Cas was actually standing in the motel room.

Dean started to sit up, and Sam and Bobby knew that Dean was getting better. He hadn't been able to sit up for the past few days. But now, here he was, sitting up on his own. It was obvious that Dean wasn't completely back to normal. Sam could tell he was still in a little pain, just because of the slight hesitation as he moved. But for the most part, Dean seemed to be doing a lot better.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked, still trying to comprehend that Cas was standing right in front of him.

"Sam and Bobby summoned me," Cas replied simply, not taking his eyes off Dean. Dean also seemed to be completely focused on Cas.

"Sure, come for them, but not for me," Dean grumbled.

"I got really busy with things in heaven. I'm sorry," Cas apologized. Dean would never know how truly sorry Castiel was that he had to go through all of this.

"Still could have come. Never stopped you before," Dean reasoned.

"I know. I wanted to come, but I couldn't." Cas wanted to beg for Dean's forgiveness. He had never wanted to cause Dean so much harm.

"Why?"

"I'll explain it later."

"Now seems like a great time," Dean said.

"You need to rest and get better," Cas reasoned.

"Can't you just heal me like you always do?"

"I'm sorry, but this is the one thing I cannot fix," Cas said apologetically.

"Why not?"

"I already tried. I can't fix this," Cas repeated, still extremely apologetic. "I wish I could."

Dean didn't respond to that comment. Instead he just stared straight ahead at the wall.

"You should rest," Cas suggested.

"If I go to sleep, you're not going to leave are you?" Dean asked quietly. He didn't want to admit it, but he really, really did not want Cas to go. He had been away for two weeks and now that he was finally back, Dean was scared he was going to lose him again.

"I will stay," Cas promised.

Cas sat down on the bed next to Dean and Dean, not realizing what he was doing, shifted on the bed so he could move closer to Cas. Dean closed his eyes, after deciding he believed Cas, and went to sleep, hoping that when he woke up, he would not only feel better, but Cas would keep his promise and still be there.

Sam and Bobby just watched from a distance, now that their job was complete. Cas was back and Dean seemed to be getting better. It wasn't instant healing like the two had expected, but it was a definitely a significant improvement. Bobby believed that it was taking longer to heal because Dean and Cas had been apart for so long. Although, he couldn't be certain.

* * *

With Cas and Dean occupied with each other, Sam helped Bobby pack up his things for his drive back to South Dakota. Sam followed Bobby out of the room and out to his car.

"Do you believe me now?" Sam asked, when he was sure he was out of earshot. Cas could probably still hear them, but it was much more important that Dean didn't hear them. Dean got angry and defensive any time Sam brought up the idea of soulmates and Sam really just wanted him to rest and get better right now.

"Believe you about what?" Bobby asked.

"Dean and Cas," Sam clarified. Bobby had to believe him. After everything he had seen over the last couple of days, there was no way that anyone couldn't believe Sam.

Bobby sighed. "Look, Sam. I'll admit there's definitely something up with those two, but your brother is just not going to accept it."

"Why not? There's all the proof he needs right there."

"Sam, your brother has spent his entire life thinking he's going to be alone. Lord knows that you leaving for Stanford didn't help the situation. But it's going to take a lot to convince him otherwise."

"I know. I just wish he'd see it. I mean, this is something that is finally going right in Dean's life. If could see it if he just opened his eyes."

"But you're Winchesters, so you can be stubborn asses, especially your brother. If he don't wanna believe something, it's going to take a whole lot of convincing to change his mind."

Sam sighed. "I know. Maybe this will be enough to make him see it."

"I doubt it," Bobby responded honestly. "Look, for now. Just make sure that angel stays around. Even if it's not soulmate stuff, he should be able to heal your brother otherwise."

"If that bastard stays around."

"You got a spell to help if he doesn't."

"So what?" Sam asked angrily. "Every time Cas decides to not show up for two weeks I have to forcibly drag him here to look after my brother? Shouldn't he just come? If they really are soulmates, shouldn't this stuff be affecting Cas in the same way?"

"Maybe this stuff don't affect angels the same way?" Bobby suggested.

"Is that possible?" Sam asked.

"Here. I can fact check against this angel manual," Bobby said sarcastically.

"Right. Sorry, Bobby."

"Just take care of your brother, you idgit."

"I will. Thanks again for everything, Bobby."

Bobby just nodded in response before getting in to his beat up, old car and driving away. Sam stood back and watched him drive off, before heading back into the motel room. Dean had definitely been doing better, but he still wasn't completely back to normal yet. All Sam could do now was hope that Dean would be ok and that Cas would stick around so he didn't get stuck in this situation again. Sam knew for sure that he would have to talk to Cas at some point, and that talk was not going to be pretty.

* * *

"I thought you said this was going to work," Raphael demanded.

Michael sighed. "It should have. The angels were careless."

"This can't happen again. I believe Castiel suspects something."

"He has every right to be suspicious and because of that, he probably won't spend as much time in heaven."

"You mean he'll be on Earth with the human?" Raphael clarified.

"Yes."

"So what do we do now?"

"Now, we have to go on to our next plan. I'm afraid we will have to get involved this time."


	16. Chapter 16

Even though Dean was better now that Cas was coming regularly, Sam couldn't help but still be angry with Cas. He had abandoned Dean, and that had caused Dean to nearly lose his life. Sam didn't want to think about what would have happened if Bobby hadn't thought to use the summoning ritual. But, Sam did decide that he had every right to be angry with Castiel. Sam had also decided that he didn't need to try and mask his anger toward Castiel. It was going to take a lot of effort on Cas's part to get Sam to trust him again, especially since right now, Sam wasn't even considering the possibility of trusting Cas again.

Sam and Dean had just checked into their new motel room for the night. It had been a day long drive out here and Sam and Dean both just wanted to go to bed. Sure they had grown up travelling from place to place, but that didn't mean that an entire day spent inside a car was necessarily relaxing, especially after the last hunt, which had been really difficult, physically and emotionally. Cases with children were always rough.

It also didn't help that Sam was constantly worrying that Cas would decide to just not show up for several days again. So far, Cas had been appearing at least once per day so Dean hadn't had to feel any pain. But Sam was cautious since the last time everything happened without warning.

"Hello, Dean," Cas said after he appeared in the room. The two brothers hadn't even started unpacking their duffels. Granted there wasn't a whole lot to unpack. They just needed to pack enough so that they could protect the motel room and change.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said cheerfully. It still amazed Sam how much of a better mood Dean would be in once Cas got there. The entire drive just felt off since neither brother really wanted to talk about what had happened on the previous hunt. They discussed possible theories for this hunt, but that conversation could only last so long because of their limited information.

"Look who finally decided to show up?" Sam commented sarcastically.

"Just drop it, Sam," Dean said. Every time Cas had stopped by, Sam had made some sarcastic comment and Dean was really starting to get annoyed with it.

Sam rolled his eyes before standing up from his chair and leaving the room. If Dean and Cas wanted to spend time together, that was great, especially for Dean, but Sam didn't want to be part of it. Sam was grateful that Cas was still showing up, but it didn't change what had happened in the past and Sam was certainly not ready to let that go.

Deciding that he didn't want to be in the same room as Cas, Sam left the motel room and took a walk. He had nowhere particular in mind. He just needed to clear his head and not be in the same room as Cas.

It had been easy for Dean to forgive Cas. Sam figured that there were two reasons for this. The obvious being that Dean was able to look passed the two weeks that Cas hadn't been there because Cas had eventually showed up. Sam figured this would be like if he were to do something. He knew that his brother would be able to forgive him for anything. Maybe Cas was like this.

The second reason was because of the soulmate connection. When Sam was with Jessica, he had found it so much easier to forgive her than it had been to forgive anyone else. It just came with having the deep connection. Sam still held true to the belief that Dean and Cas were soulmates, but that didn't mean Sam had to like him. Sam knew for a fact that there were plenty of people in the world who had soulmates that their families hated. Now Sam was just like those people.

By the time Sam came back several hours later, it appeared that Cas had left. Dean was sitting on the small table in their hotel room with Sam's laptop opened in front of him. Sam assumed that he was trying to pull up some more information on the hunt.

"Find anything?" Sam asked, avoiding the subject of Cas.

"Not too much, yet. We need to talk to some of the relatives tomorrow. That's the only way we are going to get anywhere on this case." Dean seemed to be thinking along the same lines as Sam. Every time Sam came back after Cas was gone, Dean never brought up the subject of Cas. It was an argument that was just not worth having.

"Ok. Let's plan on an early start tomorrow then."

"I can't wait," Dean responded sarcastically as he closed the laptop and headed to the bathroom.

"Dude, seriously, even when we were kids you always got the bathroom first," Sam said when he noticed Dean moving toward the bathroom. Sam had already dug his shower kit out of his duffel.

"Older brother privilege, Sammy," Dean said before shutting the door. Sam listened as Dean struggled to actually get the lock on the door to stay. That was the one problem with staying in these motels. The rooms were always in terrible condition.

Sam groaned. Some things will never change. While Dean was in the bathroom, Sam got to work on putting up all of the protection around the room.

* * *

Interviewing the family members of the victims did not get Sam and Dean very far. Instead, they went to the library to try to see if they could find some other connection between the victims.

After a long day of research and very little progress, the two boys returned to the motel. Both were agitated because of the small progress they had made on the case. However, Dean's mood drastically improved when Cas showed up that night. Sam, on the other hand, decided he was going to take a walk. After a long day of little progress, the last thing he wanted to deal with was Cas.

Sam returned to the motel room two hours later to discover that Cas hadn't left yet. Sure there were no rules about how long Cas should or should not stay, but Sam was sure he would be safe after two hours. Ignoring both Dean and Cas, Sam made his way over to his bed and pulled out his laptop. There had to be something on the Internet that would distract him from what was going on.

"I'll see you later then." Sam overheard Dean say. He couldn't help the relaxed feeling that washed over him once he knew that Cas was heading out for the night.

"I'll come tomorrow," Cas promised. Sam just shook his head and scowled and went back to his computer, hoping that the next time he looked up, Cas would be gone.

"Dude, what the hell is your problem?" Dean asked angrily once Cas was gone.

"I have no problem," Sam lied, knowing it was pointless. Dean had always been able to see right through them. Like the time when Sam eight and lied about taking some of the emergency cash to buy a new book. Sam knew that Dean knew it was him, but Sam would never admit to that. Thankfully though, Dean never ratted Sam out to their father.

"Bullshit. You've been riding Cas's ass ever since he got back."

"No I haven't," Sam lied again, setting his laptop off to the side of the bed.

"That's crap and you know it. I thought you liked the guy."

"I did—do," Sam corrected, hoping Dean didn't catch that. "But he left for two weeks."

"So he was busy," Dean said with a shrug.

"We both prayed to him, and he ignored us. You can't just ignore that."

"Yeah I can. Sure, it wasn't cool that he left us, but he's back now. And you can't forget that he is the reason that I'm topside."

"I know that, Dean, and I'm incredibly thankful that he pulled you out. I am eternally grateful that he pulled you out, but…" Sam trailed off.

"But what?" Dean prompted.

"But he still left you for two weeks."

"Seriously, that's the only argument you got? You left me and dad for four years," Dean pointed out.

Sam was taken aback by that statement. Of course it was true, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt. That was something he would have expected to come out of his father's mouth, not his brother's.

"You were gone for four years. Plus when you were a teenager, how many times did you shut me out? I still care about you, Sam. Hell, I gave my life so you could live."

"I know that, Dean."

"I forgave you. I forgave Cas. Why can't you just get that?"

"I almost had to watch you die. Again. I can't just move passed that," Sam explained as he stood up from the bed.

"But newsflash Sam. I didn't die."

"Because Cas finally showed up after Bobby and I used a freaking summoning ritual. That's what it took before he finally came to see you. It wasn't that you were dying. It was because we had to summon him. We had to force him to actually show up."

Dean took a deep breath.

"I've had to watch you die too many times already, Dean," Sam said as he thought, not only of when Dean's soul was dragged off to hell by the hellhounds, but also of the time when the trickster had forced Sam to watch Dean die hundreds of days in a row. Sure, his brother had always come back, but he had never known it at the time. Who knew when Dean was actually going to die and not come back? Sam didn't want to think about that.

"I'm sorry, Sam. But you have to realize that I trust Cas. I trust Cas almost as much as I trust you."

Sam's thoughts came to a complete halt. Dean's words replayed over and over in his mind.  _I trust Cas almost as much as I trust you._  Dean didn't trust most people, just Sam, his dad, and Bobby. Now Cas was added to that list. If Sam had ever doubted that Dean and Cas were soulmates, this would have solidified his theory.

"I guess that after all he's done for me, I'm just able to look passed all of it."

Before Sam could stop himself, he said, "You just can't see this because…" Sam trailed off, realizing that if he continued that train of thought his brother was going to be really pissed at him.

"Because what?"

"Nothing. You're right. It doesn't matter."

"Fine. But will you just do me a favor and lay off Cas, alright? Please?" Dean added.

"Fine," Sam promised, even though it didn't mean he liked it.


	17. Chapter 17

Over the next few days, Sam kept his promise and laid off Cas. It hadn't been too difficult. Instead of making comments, Sam just chose to ignore Cas completely. It was easier. So every night when Cas popped in to talk with Dean, Sam excused himself. Sometimes he went to a local bar, other times he just walked around aimlessly for an hour or two. Dean never said much about it. He just let Sam leave because that was easier to deal with than having Cas and Sam angry with each other.

Dean never said anything so he didn't know how much it was bothering him. More than anything he just wanted Sam and Cas to get along. Was that too much to ask? That his brother gets along with one of the most important people in his life. Sure, he hadn't known Cas as long as he had known Sam, or even Bobby, but that didn't mean Cas wasn't important. After all, if it weren't for Cas, Dean would still be in Hell.

So far though, Sam's plan was working and he was able to avoid Cas. Tonight though, Sam was not so lucky.

Sam and Dean had finished the hunt and were going out to dinner to celebrate. It was the same food they ate every day, but it felt different because they weren't discussing details of the hunt over the meal.

Dean had insisted that Cas should come along.

"But I don't need to eat, Dean," Cas said again.

"You can still come along, unless you have something more important going on in heaven."

Cas's quick response of "No, I'll stay" didn't go unnoticed by Sam. However, Sam forced himself to push it from his mind.

Dinner itself had been relatively painless. In fact, it turned out to be pretty entertaining. Dean had ordered Cas a cheeseburger.

"But Dean, I don't need to eat."

"But you are using someone's vessel. Don't they have to eat every now and then?" Dean countered.

"I keep them fed," Cas said.

"With what?"

"Fruits and vegetables. They're supposed to be very healthy for humans," Cas responded.

"Cas. You can't just feed 'em that stuff. You have to give them good food. I'm sure they're dying for a big juicy cheeseburger."

"You know, Dean. Not everyone is like you," Sam said.

"People need more than just that rabbit food you insist on eating," Dean replied.

The waitress brought out their food. Sam immediately dug into his salad, while Dean enthusiastically tore into his burger. Cas on the other hand, didn't make a move toward his food.

"Come on, Cas. It's good, just eat some," Dean said with a full mouth of burger.

Slowly, Cas picked up the burger and took a bite. He chewed and swallowed before taking another bite, and then another. "This is…very good," Cas said, continuing to eat the burger.

Dean laughed. "I told you. And I'm sure that vessel is very happy about it."

The opportunity for Sam to give Cas a hard time never really presented itself and Dean was thrilled. His two favorite people, well his favorite human and favorite angel, were actually getting along.

"I'm gonna go take a leak," Dean said, excusing himself from the table.

Sam and Cas didn't respond. Now that Dean was gone, Sam really didn't have to try and hide his anger with Castiel. Sam just remained silent and glared at Cas. This could be his only time to talk with Cas, and frankly, Sam didn't care. After all that Cas had done to his brother, Sam was sure that he would never forgive Cas.

"What is your problem, Sam?" Cas finally asked after a period of awkward silence.

"You have to ask?" Sam snorted.

"You never used to be this hostile," Cas pointed out.

"That was before you abandoned my brother for two weeks. He prayed to you, I prayed to you. Hell, even Bobby prayed to you and you wouldn't come."

"I'm sorry, Sam."

"Sorry's not going to cut it," Sam snapped. "Do you even realize what you put him through?"

"That was never my intention," Castiel admitted.

"But you still did it. We didn't know what was going to happen. Dean just kept getting worse, no matter what we did. Do you realize that he could have died?" Sam asked.

"I told you that I am sorry. It was never my intention to hurt Dean," Cas tried to explain.

"Then what was your intention? Get close to Dean. Make him want you around. You do realize there aren't many people that he likes keeping around."

"I never—"

"I know. It was never you're intention. But regardless of what your intentions were, Dean almost died."

"I never wanted Dean to die."

"But you still left Dean for over two weeks," Sam pointed out, angrily. There was no excuse for how Cas acted and no explanation from him was going to change Sam's mind.

"Sam, I wanted to come—"

"Then why didn't you?"

"I couldn't," Cas responded simply.

"You are an angel. How could you not come?" That was honestly one of the weakest excuses that Sam had ever heard. Cas was an angel. He had powers. He had come every day before. Why were those two weeks any different?

Castiel remained silent.

Sam snorted. "Pretty weak."

Cas leaned forward. "I tried to come, Sam. I tried everything, but the other angels took me and prevented me from leaving. They did not want me on earth."

Sam stared at Cas, a look of complete shock plastered on his face. "What?" Why would the other angels stop Cas from coming to earth for a few hours? After all, wasn't time in heaven and hell different that it was on earth?

"After I left, I returned to heaven to perform my other duties," Cas explained. "When I got there the other angels took me and made it so that I could not leave. I tried to return to Dean. I heard all of his prayers, but because of what the angels did, I was not able to return."

Sam immediately felt guilty for how he had been treating Cas the past few days. If that was really true, which Sam had to assume it was since he was pretty sure that he had never heard Cas lie ever, Sam was a huge dick. Sam wasn't even sure if angels could lie. Either way, Sam was a dick and really owed an apology to Cas.

"Cas, man, I'm sorry."

"Don't assume I don't care about your brother," Cas growled. "I care about him very much. I don't want to see him get hurt." Sam didn't doubt that anymore and now felt really guilt that he used to believe that.

"I'm sorry, Cas," Sam repeated, looking down at his own plate. He had been completely wrong and felt terrible for it. Cas did care about Dean and was fighting to return to him while Sam just assumed that Cas had lost interest and left.

"Sam?"

"Yeah, Cas?"

"Dean can't know."

"Why not?" Sam asked. Wasn't it important that Dean knew that Cas didn't abandon him? Sam knew that Dean's greatest fear was being abandoned by the people he cared about.

"He just can't know about what happened in heaven."

"But why? Don't you think that it's important that he knows that you didn't voluntarily leave him for a couple weeks?"

"Sam," Cas growled.

"Fine. I won't tell him," Sam promised. As much as he wanted to know, Sam knew that Cas had his reasons. Cas rarely talked about what happened in heaven and Sam assumed there was a very good reason for that. But he would still feel better if Cas would tell Dean that he didn't voluntarily abandon him.

Cas and Sam sat in an awkward silence for a few more seconds before Dean returned.

"So what'd I miss?" Dean asked, sliding into the booth.

"Nothing," Cas replied, understanding that Sam wasn't ready to speak.

"Great. Let's get outta here then," Dean said. He left some money on the table before leading the way out of diner and out to the Impala.

* * *

Over the next few days, Dean noticed a definite change in Sam. Sam was no longer that hostile toward Cas. In fact, Sam didn't even leave the room when Cas came. Sam would stay and a couple times Dean was sure that Sam talked and made a joke with Cas. Dean wasn't quite sure what had happened, but he knew that he shouldn't question it. He didn't want them to go back to not speaking again.

Sam didn't even notice that Cas had left. He was too engrossed in researching for their current hunt. When he looked around, he noticed that Cas was gone and that Dean hadn't moved. Normally, once Cas left, Dean came over and helped Sam with whatever research or planning needed to get done for the next day. But tonight was different.

"Dean?" Sam asked.

Dean didn't make any acknowledgement that he had heard Sam.

"Hell. Earth to Dean."

"Sorry," Dean said.

"What's up?" Sam asked.

"Nothing," Dean responded.

"That's crap. There's obviously something on your mind."

Dean was silent for a moment before he said, "I think there's something different about Cas." It was something that Dean had been thinking about for a long time. But now more than ever, it was just something he couldn't stop thinking about it. There was something about Cas that Dean couldn't just put his finger on. It was almost like he didn't want to be away from Cas. Sure he popped in for a few hours every night, but that never felt like enough.

It went farther than that, too. Dean knew he needed Sam, but that was understandable. Sam was his brother and he had spent nearly all of his life taking care of Sam. But Cas was different. He couldn't explain why he needed Cas though. He just knew that he needed him. Those two weeks when Cas was gone were some of the hardest of Dean's life. And it was after that when Dean really starting thinking. He really relied on Cas, and that was when Dean really started to realize how much he really did.

"What do you mean?" Did Dean finally start to realize that Cas and him were actually soulmates? If that was true, what made Dean change his mind?

"It's just—it feels different."

"How so?"

"I don't know. It just is."

"You're gonna have to elaborate on that."

"I can't really explain it. Like I feel like Cas should be here," Dean tried to explain. The problem was that he didn't have it all completely worked out in his head so it was proving to be very difficult to explain it to Sam.

"He's here every day."

"I know that," Dean said. "It's just that it doesn't feel like it's enough."

Sam remained silent. It definitely seemed that Dean was coming around to the idea of soulmates, even if he couldn't actually use the word soulmate.

"So kinda like soulmates?" Sam asked.

"Kind of. But it can't be that. I mean, I don't have a name," Dean said, holding up his blank wrist.

"Maybe you're just different?" Sam suggested.

"Yeah right," Dean snorted. "That'll happen the day angels and demons get along."

"You never know."

"It's never going to happen."

"You just admitted that there's something different about Cas, but you refuse to believe that it could be soulmates?"

"It can't be that. I don't have a soulmate. Never have, never will. I've already accepted that," Dean said determinedly.

"I'm just saying that you shouldn't rule it out."

"Whatever," Dean said. There was no way Sam was right. He had spent thirty years knowing that he didn't have a soulmate, why would that change now?

"And Sam?" Dean asked after a moment of silence.

"Yeah?"

"This conversation never happened."

Sam chuckled, but understood. Dean had "Whatever you say."


	18. Chapter 18

Dean and Sam pulled into the motel parking lot. Sam went into the main office to pay for the room, while Dean unloaded their duffle bags from the car.

"Room 12," Sam informed Dean. Dean just nodded in response. He had been driving for the last sixteen hours and was completely exhausted. To make matters worse, the twinge in his wrist was starting to come back again. Dean just hoped that it wouldn't get as bad as it did the last time.

Sam went ahead, opened the door to their room, and turned on the light. He looked around the tiny room and grimaced. They were used to skivvy motel rooms, but this one definitely seemed to be one of the worst. The lights were cracked and several of the bulbs were burnt out. The tile floor was littered with cracks and chips. There was some kind of large stain on one of the beds. Sam was pretty sure that he didn't want to know where that stain came from. Hopefully, he could trick Dean into taking that bed.

Sam heard Dean come in behind him, so he moved out of the way. Dean threw the bags down on the bed, not even paying attention to the conditions of the room. Sam figured that he really shouldn't be surprised at this. Dean had lived in motel rooms for most of his life and just kind of accepted it.

"You going to do the salt lines?" Dean asked.

"Sure," Sam replied, moving toward their duffles and pulling out the salt. He had just finished laying the line in front of the window when Cas showed up.

"Hello, Dean. Sam," Cas said.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said, not moving from his spot on the bed. He was still incredibly exhausted, but he did seem to perk up a bit now that Cas was here. "What's up?"

Cas looked up and said, "Nothing."

Dean and Sam both laughed. Even after spending months with the two brothers, Cas had yet to master human slang.

"I don't understand why you're laughing."

"It's nothing, Cas," Dean said.

Sam put the salt away and grabbed his shower kit out of his duffle. "I'm going to grab a shower." He figured that if Cas was here, Dean would be distracted and he could actually get hot water for once. Dean always insisted that since he was the older brother, he should get the shower first, resulting in numerous cold showers over the years.

"So nothing's new?"

"No," Cas said simply. "Everything is the same in heaven."

"So, what do you actually do for heaven?" Dean asked. It was something he had always wondered about, but never asked.

"It all depends. I do what I am asked to," Cas explained.

"What are you hunting?" Cas asked.

"Not sure yet. Haven't had time to really look into it. Shouldn't be too much trouble though," Dean said.

"Oh."

There was a moment of silence before Cas said, "I am needed in heaven."

"Ok," Dean said, trying to hide his disappointment. He didn't want Cas to leave just yet, but Dean knew that he couldn't mess with heaven. If Cas was needed there, nothing he could do was going to change that.

"I will see you tomorrow," Cas promised.

"You know where to find me," Dean said.

Cas nodded before disappearing on the spot.

* * *

Sam and Dean went to the house of Emma Russell's parents. She was the third person to be arrested after killing her younger brother.

"So you can't think of anything that would have prompted Emma to kill her brother?" Sam asked, while Dean looked through the house for anything suspicious.

"No," Emma's mother, Josie, said. "Emma and Ryan got along. They fought like other siblings, but it was nothing that would have caused her to kill her brother. She was such a good kid."

"So, did you notice anything suspicious in the days leading up to the murder?"

Josie took a deep breath. "Well, Emma seemed more distant. She was talking back and staying out late. She developed a real attitude, but she's a teenager. That always happens. But it shouldn't have ever ended like this."

"Was there anything else? Anything at all?" Sam prompted. "Even if you don't think it's significant, it could really help us."

"Well, now that you mention it. There was a really strong odor, right after Emma was arrested."

"A strong odor? Like, what?"

"Well, it smelled almost like rotten eggs."

* * *

"It's definitely demonic possession," Sam told Dean when they left the Russell's house.

"You sure?" Dean asked.

"Positive. How many other things do you know of that leave behind a trace of sulfur?"

"Point taken. But why is one here?"

"No idea."

"Any ideas on how we're going to find it?"

"Well, this town only has about one thousand people in it. We could find out which people have a younger sibling with them. That would give us a start."

Dean groaned. "Fine," he said, wishing there was another way they could go about doing this.

* * *

Sam and Dean had pulled information about all of the towns residents and were in the process of going through each and every resident when Cas showed up.

Dean immediately perked up and dropped the research he had been doing. "Hey, Cas."

"Hello, Dean. What are you researching?" Cas asked, noticing the stacks of papers scattered across the small table in the motel room.

"Trying to find out who's going to be the next victim."

"So you've figured out what you are hunting?" Cas asked.

"Demon," Dean responded simply.

"A demon? Who?"

"I don't know which one and that doesn't really matter. It's killing people and we gotta stop it."

"Just be careful, Dean."

Dean was surprised. He couldn't really remember a time that Cas had told him specifically to be careful while on a hunt. Maybe it was just because it was demons and Cas knew what demons were capable of. "Don't worry about us, Cas. We've hunted plenty of demons before. It shouldn't be that bad."

"Take this," Cas said, pulling some kind of blade out of his trench coat and handing it over to Dean.

"What's this?"

"It's an angel blade. It'll kill any demon."

"Like that knife Ruby gave to Sam?"

"Exactly."

"Uh, thanks, Cas." Dean wasn't quite sure what to say. Obviously, he was thrilled that he now had something else that he could actually kill demons with. Now, both him and Sam would be better prepared. "This'll really help."

"You're welcome, Dean."

* * *

After a couple more days, Dean and Sam figured out where they would be able to find the demon. Taking the knife they had gotten from Ruby and a blade that Cas had given them, they carefully entered the abandoned factory.

Carefully and quietly the two boys walked through the building looking for any sign of the demon.

The two brothers came to a large room. Sam looked through one side while Dean looked around the other. Sam was just about to turn around to Dean and signal that he didn't see anything, when he saw something moving straight toward Dean.

"Dean! Look out!" Sam yelled.

Without even thinking, Dean dived behind a stack of boxes, to get out of the way. Sam meanwhile moved toward the demon, attempting to stab it. Sam lunged, but missed. The demon was too quick and moved out of the path of Sam's knife.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis," Sam started. Even if they couldn't kill it, they could at least exorcise it and sent it back to Hell.

The demon just laughed, and moved closer to Sam. When Sam saw that the demon didn't even flinch at the start of the exorcism, he knew he was going to be in trouble. Every demon they had encountered tended to flee when they heard the beginning of an exorcism, but not this one.

Dean was still crouched behind the stack of boxes, trying to figure out how he was going to get himself and Sam out of this one. This demon definitely appeared to be more powerful than any of the other demons they encountered. Dean couldn't prove it, but Dean had a really strong gut feeling that this demon was not going to go down without a big fight.

Dean knew he would have to go out and fight and hope that he would actually be able to stab the demon. He gripped his blade tight and started to move around the line of boxes. He needed to know where the demon was before he actually went charging at it.

"Dean!" Sam yelled. Dean stood up slightly and peered over the stack of boxes. Looking at the scene in front of him, Dean saw his brother pinned to a wall with his knife laying a few feet away. Now Dean knew he had no choice. He had to do something to kill the demon and quick. _Watch out for Sammy._  His father's words ran through Dean's head.

Dean glanced around and saw the demon standing a few feet from Sam. The demon snapped his fingers and Sam flew across the room into a wall. Sam watched Sam fly through the air and slump down against the wall. Dean's first instinct was to go and make sure Sam was ok, but he could still see Sam moving, so while it definitely wasn't good that Sam flew into the wall, he was still alive and conscious.

Dean ran toward the demon, his knife ready. The demon turned around just in time to see Dean running toward him. Dean moved his arm, aiming to stab it, but unfortunately for Dean, the demon was faster. Dean was knocked out of the way and against the wall by an unknown force.

Dean was now pinned against the wall, with the blade Cas had given him laying on the floor. Sam, while he was still awake, was having moving very slowly and still trying to pick himself off the ground. Even if Sam did get himself up, his knife, as well as the blade, were on the opposite end of the room. In short, Dean knew that this was not going to end well.

The demon started to move toward Sam, undoubtedly to try and hurt him more before he killed him.

"You stay away from him you bastard," Dean yelled. He knew it wouldn't make any difference, but that was all he could do. The demon turned around to stare at Dean.

"You want me to kill you first so your brother can watch you die?" the demon asked.

Dean didn't know what to say. He didn't want to die and he sure as hell didn't want Sam to die. So which was the lesser of two evils, Dean wondered.

The demon moved closer to Dean. "Well?"

"If you're going to kill me, just do it already," Dean said.

The demon moved toward Dean, intending to attack. Dean closed his eyes tightly, but was surprised when he didn't feel anything. He opened his eyes to see what had happened. The demon had just been standing within arms' reach of him.

However, the demon wasn't standing there any more. Instead he was several feet away locked in a tight battle with someone. As Dean looked at the person the demon was fighting, he realized that he knew that person.

"Cas, no!" Dean yelled. Dean couldn't let someone else get hurt because of him.

Cas didn't even look at Dean. He was completely focused on killing this demon. Dean watched as the demon reached down and grab the blade that was laying on the floor. Dean watched, almost as if the whole scene was playing out in slow motion, as the demon reached and plunged the blade into Cas. Cas gasped before dropping to the ground unmoving.

"Cas!" Dean called out, hoping with all of his might that Cas would move or say something, but Cas remained completely still.

As the demon stared at the angel laying on the floor, Sam came up behind it and stabbed it in the back. Sam pulled the knife out of the demon's back and the demon fell to the floor. Dean felt himself be released from the force that held him to the wall and immediately, he ran over to Cas. Dean dropped to his knees and pulled Cas's body up, holding on to him tightly.

"Cas! Cas!" Dean pleaded. He just couldn't lose Cas. "Cas! Don't you leave me."


	19. Chapter 19

Two hours. That's how long it had been since Cas had gone. Sam had taken care of the body of the demon, while Dean stayed by Cas, just holding him. It was as if Dean was still in denial that Cas was actually gone.

"Dean?" Sam asked. He knew they couldn't stay there forever. Sooner or later, someone would come by and even though they had gotten rid of one body, they still had one other with them. "Dean, we have to do something."

Dean remained silent and Sam wasn't sure if his brother had even heard him. He was sure that Dean was living. "Dean, we have to do something," Sam repeated.

"What are we supposed to do Sam? Just drop him off somewhere and forget about him?" Dean snapped.

Sam understood exactly where Dean was coming from. When Sam lost Jessica, he was constantly yelling at Dean. It wasn't Dean's fault that Jess was dead, but Sam needed some way to get his frustration out. Dean just happened to be there and Sam guessed that what was happening now.

"We can't stay here. We have to get out of here," Sam said gently, not wanting to upset his brother any more than he already was.

Dean took a deep breath and nodded. He didn't want to leave, but he knew Sam was right.

"What do you want to do…" Sam trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. How was he supposed to ask his brother what he wanted to do with his friend's body? When their dad died, there was no question about what to do with the body. Cas, though, was a different story entirely.

"I want to bury him," Dean said quietly.

"Ok," Sam said.

Sam helped Dean carry Cas's body out to the Impala. Sam was surprised when Dean got in the drive's seat and turned on the car. Sam expected Dean to sit in the back with Cas.

Sam walked around to the passenger seat and got in. Without saying a word, Dean pulled the car away from the building and onto the winding highway.

For nearly an hour and a half, the two brothers rode in silence. Sam wanted to say something, anything to get his brother to talk about what was going on through his head. The problem is he didn't know what he could say.

Dean pulled the car off the road and parked it. Sam looked around, trying to figure out where they were. Sam had not idea, but he figured that there had to be some significance to where they were, especially if this was where Dean was going to bury the body.

Dean sat in the car for a minute, still completely silent.

"Dean?" Sam prompted. Sam didn't know what was going on in Dean's head. Whatever it was, it definitely wasn't good. Frankly, Sam was worried about his brother.

Dean seemed to come back to reality. He opened the door, got out, and went out to the trunk to get the shovels.

Sam followed Dean's lead and went to the trunk, fully intending to help his brother. Sam grabbed the second shovel when Dean shook his head and said, "I want to do this."

"You sure?" Sam asked.

Dean just nodded before walking over to a spot near a tree and started to dig.

Sam stood by the Impala and watched his brother dig for several hours. Sam wanted to help his brother, but he knew that Dean needed to do this.

Dean finally stopped digging and came back to the Impala. He opened the back seat and pulled Cas's body out. Carefully, Dean carried the body over to the hole he had just dug. He laid Cas in the hole and took a step back.

"Dammit, Cas!" Dean yelled in frustration.

Sam watched as Dean lifted the shovel he had dug Cas's grave with and threw it. Sam ran over as Dean fell to his knees. He knew that Dean probably wouldn't even want him there, but Sam knew that his brother needed support, even if he wouldn't admit it.

Dean saw Sam coming over and stood up. He wiped a hand across his face and stared at his brother. Sam could have sworn that Dean's eyes were red, almost as if he had been crying while digging the grave.

As Sam got closer, he could tell that there was something not quite right with Dean. Staring at his brother, Sam realized that all he could see was anger.

"This is all your fault, you know," Dean said.

"Dean, man, just take a breath."

"If you hadn't insisted on this hunt, Cas would still be here."

"Dean—"

"Just drop it, Sam."

"Dean, I never wanted Cas to die. You gotta believe that. I may not have known him as well as you did, but I never once wanted him dead," Sam explained calmly, hoping and praying with every piece of him that Dean would believe him.

Dean took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face again. "Dammit." Dean turned at looked at the grave where Cas lay completely still.

The two brothers stood in silence for several minutes. Dean stared at Cas, while Sam watched Dean. Sam hoped that Dean didn't blame him anymore, but since Dean had said nothing to the contrary, Sam couldn't be sure. Maybe when Dean is actually thinking straight, they could work it out. For now though, Sam had to worry more about Dean that himself.

Eventually, Dean stood up and walked over to where the shovel landed. He picked up the shovel and slowly walked back to the hole. He took one more look at Cas before thrusting the shovel into the pile of dirt and starting to fill in the hole.

When Dean was done, he took one final look at the hole and then silently returned to the Impala. Sam followed Dean back. Although, he was completely exhausted after the events of the last few hours, Sam was ready to insist on driving. It wasn't as if Dean was a bad driver. It was more that he was worried about his brother. He just wanted Dean to take a step back and breathe and not focus on anything for a couple hours.

Dean dumped the shovel in the trunk. When he turned around, he was faced with Sam who had his hand extended, waiting for the keys. Dean didn't want to give up the keys. If he had the keys, he could drive. If he drove, then he was in control. After not being able to control what had happened to Cas, Dean needed to be in control of something. This was the only way that he could find his control.

Dean moved to walk around Sam, toward the driver's side of the door.

"Dean, I can drive," Sam said.

Dean shook his head and opened the car door. Sam stepped in front of him. "Seriously, just let me drive. You can just breathe for a while."

"I'm fine, Sam," Dean said, trying to push past his brother.

"Dean you just watched one of the people closest to you die," Sam said bluntly.

"What do you want, Sam?"

"I want you to talk to me instead of keeping this all to yourself."

Dean just snorted.

"Seriously, man, just let me drive."

"Let me get this straight. You want me to let you drive so I can tell you all about my feelings? Well, guess what? That's not happening. Cas is gone and there's nothing I can do to bring him back. I have to just accept that and sitting around isn't going to let me do that," Dean responded angrily.

"If you get tired, just pull over and I'll drive for a while," Sam said, realizing that there was no point in fighting with his brother. Dean was going to do what he wanted to do and nothing Sam said would make any difference.

Sam moved out of the way and walked around the car to his normal spot on the passenger side. Dean got into the car and turned it on. He took one more look at the tree near where Cas was buried before turning the Impala around and peeling out of the area.

Dean kept driving and Sam eventually succumbed to sleep. Unbeknownst to Sam, Dean did have a plan of where he was going to drive. When he initially hit the road, he had no idea where they were headed. Dean was just driving so he could get away from all that had happened. However, Dean had been driving for about ten minutes when he realized where he needed to go. There was one place he always could go and now he needed it more than ever.

Nearly four hours later, Sam woke up. When he opened his eyes, he realized that they weren't actually moving anywhere. Looking around, he realized that they had stopped at a gas station. Sam wasn't really surprised. As much as Dean loved the car, it really was a gas-guzzler and they were constantly having to stop to put in more gas.

Sam took advantage of the opportunity and opened the door the Impala before stepping out to stretch out his legs. Dean was leaning against the back of the car, pumping the gas.

"Hey, man," Sam said, trying not to startle his brother.

Dean didn't respond. He just kept staring straight ahead.

"You want me to drive for awhile?" Sam asked. Maybe then Dean would actually get some rest. Dean rarely got more than four hours of sleep at a time and now with everything that had happened, he had to be completely exhausted.

"I got it," Dean said simply.

"You sure?" Sam asked. He didn't want to push, but he knew that Dean probably needed a break.

"Yeah. It's fine."

Sam definitely did not believe Dean, but silently admitted defeat. "So where are we headed?"

"Bobby's."

Sam nodded. Maybe going to Bobby's would be a good idea. Maybe Bobby could get Dean to talk about it. Even if he couldn't, there were plenty of things at Bobby's to keep Dean occupied.

* * *

The rest of the drive to Bobby's was very uneventful. Dean and Sam didn't say a word and Dean hadn't even turned on the radio. Sam didn't think he was ever more excited to see the salvage yard in his entire life.

Dean pulled the car to a stop. Sam immediately got out and grabbed their bags. He had just gotten their duffels out of the trunk when he realized that Dean still hadn't moved from his spot in the Impala.

Sam went around to the driver's side. He opened the door and crouched down a bit. "You coming?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute."

"I'll wait for you," Sam said, not wanting to leave his brother alone. He had had nearly eight hours to himself just to think and there was no doubt in Sam's mind that Dean had been thinking about a way to get Cas back. Sam just really wanted to make sure that Dean didn't do anything stupid.

"You can go ahead. I'll be right there," Dean said.

"Nah, I can wait," Sam insisted.

A few seconds later, Dean finally got out of the car and the two brothers made their way up to Bobby's front door.

They hadn't even knocked when Bobby opened the door to his house and said, "About time. Thought you boys had forgotten where I live."

"Hey, Bobby," Sam said.

"Hey," Dean said quietly. Dean didn't say anything else, but even Bobby knew that something was up.

"Boy, you look exhausted. Why don't you go upstairs and hit the sack?"

Without any arguments, Dean took his duffel from Sam and headed up the stairs to the room that he and Sam had been sharing since they first met Bobby.

Sam and Bobby watched Dean climb up the stairs and turn the corner. When they could no longer see Dean, Bobby led Sam to the kitchen.

"So what'd you to get into now?" Bobby asked.

"Cas is dead," Sam responded simply.


	20. Chapter 20

"What do you mean he's dead?" Bobby asked. Clearly he hadn't heard Sam right. Cas was an angel. What could have possibly killed him?

"We were hunting a demon and we were losing. Cas showed up and…" Sam paused for a moment. "Cas jumped in and started fighting. The demon stabbed him."

"Is that some kind of sick joke?" Bobby asked.

"What? No. Of course it's not," Sam said, clearly taken aback by the question. That was definitely something he did not anticipate Bobby asking.

Bobby sighed. "How's your brother taking this?"

"You saw him," Sam reasoned. There wasn't really any need to elaborate. Anyone could tell that Dean wasn't doing well, just by simply looking at him. The normally confident hunter had showed up looking completely defeated.

"Yeah, but I'm asking you. I can tell that your brother ain't doing well, but I'm trying to figure out what were dealing with."

Sam took a deep breath. "He's not talking. You can get him to say a few words if you talk to him directly, but he's just keeping to himself. I'm worried about him, Bobby," Sam added. The last time Sam had seen Dean like this was when their Dad had died. Those were a rough couple weeks and Sam had really hoped he wouldn't have to go through that ever again.

"We'll get him through it," Bobby promised.

"How? This isn't like when Dad died. His soulmate died! How is Dean supposed to  _just get through it_?"

"We'll figure it out."

"I hope you're right, Bobby," Sam sighed. "I just really hope you're right."

* * *

Sam walked upstairs an hour later, after Bobby insisted that he looked exhausted and need to rest. "You may not have lost your soulmate yesterday, but you still gotta rest if you're gonna help your brother," Bobby had said when Sam insisted on helping Bobby research for other hunters.

Upon entering the room, Sam glanced at his brother. The biggest thing Sam noticed was how his brother was sleeping. He wasn't sprawled out all over the bed like he normally was. Instead, he was curled up on his bed. While Dean was actually asleep, Sam could tell that Dean definitely not sleeping peacefully. There was a distinct look of pain and anger etched across Dean's face. Sam debated for a brief moment about waking his brother and pulling him out of the inevitable bad dream he was having, but he decided against it. Dean needed rest and although the rest wasn't exactly peaceful, he still needed it. After driving nonstop for nearly ten hours and lost in his own thoughts, there was no way that Dean didn't need to rest. If Sam woke Dean up, he probably wouldn't go back to sleep any time soon. There was absolutely no doubt in Sam's mind about that.

Sam crawled into his own bed. He took one final look at his brother before rolling over and falling asleep almost instantly.

* * *

_Dean continued to struggle. In the back of his mind, he knew it was useless. However, that didn't stop Dean from struggling against the hold the demon had on him. He could tell that Cas was putting up a good fight, but Dean still had a feeling that this demon was more powerful than most. Dean wanted nothing more than to get over there and help Cas fight._

_Dean watched helplessly as Cas continued to fight against the demon. The demon reached up and plunged the blade deep into Cas's chest._

" _No!" Dean yelled. "Cas!"_

* * *

Sam's eyes flew open and shot up. The yelling continued and for a moment Sam was confused. He turned toward his brother who was thrashing in his bed.

Sam instantly jumped out of his bed, fully intending to wake his brother and pull him out of whatever nightmare he was having. It had to be bad since Sam couldn't even remember a time when Dean had nightmares that would leave him screaming.

Sam crossed the room in two large steps. "Dean! Wake up, man!" Sam said frantically, shaking his brother. Eventually, Dean's eyes flew open and darted wildly around the room. He was still breathing heavily, as if he was still lost in his nightmare. "Hey man, you ok?" Sam asked. He knew Dean wasn't ok, but he still had to ask. Maybe this time Dean would surprise him and tell the truth.

Dean blinked a few times before responding. "Yeah, I'm fine," Dean said in a raspy voice.

"You sure?" Sam definitely didn't believe his brother, but it was certainly clear that Dean wasn't gong to tell him what was happening in his head.

"I'm fine, Sam," Dean said angrily.

Dean swung his legs over the side of the bed and pushed his way past Sam and walked out of the room. Dean walked down the hall toward the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He locked the door before turning around and facing the mirror. Instead of looking put his own reflection, Dean leaned down toward the sink. He gripped the sink tightly and tried to get a grip on reality. Watching Cas die once was painful enough, but now he was being forced to relive that in his dreams. Frankly, he was terrified. He knew he couldn't keep living like this. He needed Cas back. Cas hadn't even been gone for a full day, yet Dean still needed him, now more than ever.

Dean looked up and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He could tell instantly that he was exhausted. However, that didn't mean he wanted to sleep. In fact, after waking up from that dream, he was wide awake. He wasn't sure if it was from actually getting sleep or if he was too scared.

"Dean you ok in there?" Dean heard Sam ask from outside the door.  _Damn_ , Dean thought. He must have been in here for longer than he had realized.

"I'm fine, Sam," Dean called back. Dean didn't hear Sam respond, but he didn't hear Sam walk away either.

Dean took a step back away from the mirror. He opened the door and was immediately face to face with his brother.

"I told you. I'm fine."

"I just wanted to—"

"I'm fine, Sam," Dean snapped before moving passed his brother.

Sam just nodded, seeing right through Dean's lie. Unfortunately, there was nothing Sam could do about it now. It wasn't as if he could force Dean to tell him what was going on his head.

* * *

"I'm still worried about him, Bobby," Sam said. Dean was out working on a car in the salvage yard, so Sam was sure he wouldn't be overheard.

"It's been four days," Bobby retorted, not looking up from his book.

"But he's not making any progress."

"Have you tried talking to him?"

"Of course I have, but he doesn't want to talk."

"So just like you were when Jess died."

That definitely made Sam shut up.

* * *

Sam walked out of the house and wandered through the salvage yard looking for Dean. He finally spotted his brother's bowlegs sticking out from under one of the hundreds of cars in the yard.

Sam leaned against one of the nearby cars. Dean was busy, probably lost in his own thoughts. There was no need to bother Dean just yet.

While Dean was working, Sam started thinking about what he was actually going to say. More than anything, Sam wanted to make sure his brother was of. There was no question that Dean was struggling. The question was just how they were supposed to deal with it. Dean needed help it was just that Sam and Bobby didn't know how they were supposed to help him. While they both lost soulmates, it was different with Dean since he had yet to admit that Cas was that important to him, let alone a soulmate. But still, this was something that Sam would actually be able to help with. He just needed Dean to be willing to talk about it.

Sam was pulled from his thoughts by wheels scraping against the gravel.

"Jesus," Dean said, jumping a little. "Warn a guy."

"Sorry."

Dean stood up and walked over to the toolbox sitting a few feet away. He swapped tools and walked back. "Can I help you?" Dean asked, after Sam hadn't said anything.

Sam just shook his head Truly, he wanted to make sure Dean was ok, but he was sure that if he asked Dean about it, Dean might explode.

"I know you're here to make sure I'm dealing so let me save you your breath. I'm fine, Sam and I'm going to keep telling you that. So you might as well get that through your head now.

Sam sighed. "Ok," he said.

* * *

When Dean entered the kitchen the next morning, Bobby already had coffee made and was standing at the stove making breakfast. Dean moved to pour himself a cup of coffee. He leaned against the counter, trying to figure how to approach the subject. He had been doing a lot of thinking since Cas died. Specifically, he had been thinking about how much Cas had meant to him. It may be completely crazy, but it was still possible.

"You just going to stand there or are you going to say something?" Bobby finally asked.

"Sorry, Bobby. I was just thinking."

"Something you want to share with the rest of the class?"

Dean took a deep breath. "This may be crazy. No, it's definitely crazy."

"Spill, boy."

"Is it possible for people to have soulmates that aren't human?"

"I haven't heard of any cases like it," Bobby responded honestly. He knew exactly what Dean was thinking. It was the same thing he and Sam had been suspecting for months.

"Oh," Dean said quietly.

"That doesn't mean it's not possible," Bobby added.

Dean didn't respond

"Is there a particular reason you're asking?"

"I've just been thinking a lot lately. I guess ever since Cas…" Dean trailed off.

"You're thinking that Cas could have been your soulmate?"

"Yeah. But its crazy."

"It's not that crazy."

"But-?"

"You want to explain why it's so crazy?" Bobby asked.

"Just all of it. An angel and a human as soulmates? How is that not insane? Not to mention that I don't have a name."

"Just cause its never happened before doesn't mean it can't happen. I've seen weirder."

"It can't get weirder than that."

"Yeah it could," Bobby explained. "There's been people who fall for demons and have even left their own soulmate for them, only to find out that the thing they fell in love with wasn't human."

Dean laughed. Apparently it could get weirder. "Thanks, Bobby."

"It ain't that crazy," Bobby said again.

Dean nodded before taking his coffee and walking out the front door. He sat down on the front step and set the coffee down beside him. Maybe Bobby was right. Maybe it wasn't that crazy of an idea. Dean knew there was something different about Cas. It unfortunately just took Cas's death for Dean to realize it. Now, Dean was really regretting not taking advantage of the time he had had with Cas. Maybe if he had made this realization sooner, things would be different. Maybe Cas wouldn't have died.

Every time Dean thought about what had happened, he hadn't been able to shake this feeling of guilt. If he had performed better during the hunt, Cas wouldn't have had to come and rescue them. If Cas hadn't come to rescue them, he wouldn't have died. But unfortunately, there was nothing Dean could do to change the situation.

Bobby watched Dean from through the window in the kitchen. While it was great that Dean was finally starting to use some common sense, it was unfortunate that it happened too late. Bobby knew that Sam had talked to Dean about the possibility of soulmates multiple times, but every time Dean had just brushed it off. Bobby vaguely wondered what Sam would say now that Dean was actually coming to terms with the idea that he and Cas were soulmates.

Bobby had met Dean when Dean was still a kid, so Bobby knew more than anyone how much Dean had really been through. This whole soulmate thing could just be another thing added to the list of the reasons why the universe is against Dean Winchester.

Bobby continued to watch Dean, continuing to wish that something would finally end up going right for him.


	21. Chapter 21

"I found a hunt," Dean announced.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Out in New Mexico. Two people in the last two weeks were killed after clawing their own eyes out. I figured it sounds like our kind of thing. Don't you think?"

Sam just stared at his brother, trying to hide his shock. Dean actually sounded normal. It was almost as if a switch had been flipped inside of Dean. There was no doubt in Sam's mind that Dean was still hurting. Dean was probably just pushing everything down and choosing not to deal with it, just like he always did.

"Well?" Dean prompted.

"Uh, yeah," Sam said quickly. "Sounds good. When do you want to leave?"

"Now?" Dean suggested. There was no point in hanging around here anymore. Besides, Dean needed to get out of here and breathe. He was hoping that focusing on a hunt might be able to take his mind off of some of these things.

"Ok," Sam agreed.

Dean was already packed and was loading his things into the car. Sam was packing, but thanks to training from his father, it didn't take too long for Sam to pack. Less than twenty minutes later, the two brothers were on the road, heading toward New Mexico.

* * *

Fourteen hours later, Dean pulled into a motel in New Mexico. Both brothers could tell that it was not the nicest motel by any stretch, but they were they didn't have a lot of money and this was the first motel they were able to find.

Sam paid for the room while Dean worked on unloading their bags.

"I'm going to go get dinner. You want your usual?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Extra bacon," Dean said. He had decided that he was going to stay back while Sam went to get food. He wouldn't admit that he was staying back in the hopes that maybe Cas would show up. After all, that was always when Cas would show up before. Sam would leave to get food and as soon as Sam was out the door, Cas would show up.

Being alone in the motel room while Sam got dinner made Dean realize how much he really missed Cas's presence. It was more than just having another person to talk to. After all, the two had just sat in silence a couple times. More than anything, Dean just wanted Cas back.

Dean wondered how people did it. How were people supposed to just get over losing a soulmate? Every day just sucked. It had been a lot easier when Dean hadn't known that he had had a soulmate. Now, everything was harder.

Dean was pulled from his thoughts when Sam opened the door to their motel room. Dean realized he must have really been out of it because it certainly didn't feel like enough time had passed.

Sam handed Dean a bacon cheeseburger and some onion rings before digging into his own food.

* * *

Three days later, Sam and Dean found themselves sneaking through a house. They had somehow convinced the family that if they left for a few hours, that when they came back, their "problem" would be gone.

As quietly and carefully as they could, the brothers moved throughout the house. The spirit had to be there somewhere. All of the evidence they had pointed to the vengeful spirit of a teenage boy who had been killed by his father nearly two decades earlier. Now it was just a matter of getting the spirit to show up so Sam and Dean could take care of it.

The brothers split up. Dean went into the room on the left while Sam went into the room on the right.

Stepping into the room, Dean moved his flashlight around, looking for anything. It was always the littlest things that would help. He heard the door to the bedroom slam shut. Instantly, Dean turned around and moved the flashlight around the door, but saw nothing, other than that the door was now closed. Dean made a quick decision and moved toward the door. He tried to turn the doorknob, but found it had been locked from the outside. Dean jiggled the doorknob with more force, hoping he could shake it loose.

"Dean!" Sam yelled.

Dean shook the doorknob harder, but it still wouldn't budge. Dean took a step back, lifted his leg, and slammed his foot into the door with enough force to break the lock and leave the door swinging on its hinges.

Dean quickly ran across the hall to the room where Sam was supposed to be. Dean took a quick look around the room, but found it empty.

"Sam!" Dean called, hoping his brother would respond so he could follow his brother's voice. "Sam!"

Dean," Sam called back. "Down here."

Dean moved down the hall, toward his brother's voice. He kept his shotgun out, just in case Sam had actually found the spirit. When Dean entered the room, he had expected to see the spirit. However, as he stepped into the room, he only saw Sam.

"Check this out," Sam said. Sam was standing in the closet of one of the bedrooms. Dean looked to where Sam's flashlight was pointed. There was a small door in the corner of the closet. Dean would have completely missed it if Sam hadn't point it out.

"You think it's in there?" Dean asked.

"I can't get it open," Sam said. "But they weren't able to recover a lot of the kid's body."

"You think that the dad killed his son and stuffed the body in here?"

"And then he sealed the room," Sam added. "It's small enough so a lot of people wouldn't notice it."

Dean nodded as he felt a blast of cold air. "You feel that?" Dean asked.

"Yeah."

Both brothers turned around and got their shotguns ready. They only had to wait for a moment. The spirit of Danny Williams stood in the doorway of the room. Danny stared at the brothers for a moment before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a knife and moving toward Dean.

Dean's eyes widened. As the spirit moved toward him, all he could see was Cas standing in front of him.

_Cas fought as hard as he could, but the demon was too quick. The demon plunged a blade deep into Cas's chest. Cas dropped to the floor, completely unmoving._

Dean came back to reality at the sound of a gunshot. He quickly looked around and noticed that Sam must have shot the spirit with rock salt.

"You ok, man?" Sam asked, his voice laced with concern.

"Yeah."

"Seriously. Maybe we should just—"

"We're finishing this hunt, Sam."

Sam sighed. He knew his brother had just frozen. Normally, Dean would have shot the spirit before Sam could even think. Dean had even had the clearer shot, but Sam had instantly noticed that something was wrong. Dean had frozen up. Without thinking, Sam had taken the shot. "Fine," Sam said. "You work on getting in there. I'll keep watch." Sam didn't want to give his brother another chance to freeze up. It's not that he didn't trust Dean, it was more that Sam wanted to make sure that both of them could still make it out of there alive.

Dean did his best to clear his mind as he walked toward the closet. Cas's death was still extremely vivid in his mind and that was definitely something he would rather not be there. He took a deep breath, went to work, and hoped that he would just be able to move passed this.

Dean moved into the closet, working to find a way to open the small door. Dean couldn't tell what the door was sealed with, but he figured that enough forced would do the trick. As hard as he could, Dean rammed his foot against the tiny door. The wall shook but the door didn't budge. Dean tried again, this time the door appeared to move a little. On the third try Dean was actually able to kick through the door.

Dean moved some as much of the door away as he could before shining a flashlight into the tiny room. He couldn't see much, but there definitely was a small pile of bones in there.

"Found it," Dean informed his brother.

"Ok. Let's get his body out of here and torch it," Sam said.

"And how do you expect to move a skeleton?" Dean asked.

"Well we can't torch it in there. We'll burn the whole house down," Sam reasoned.

Dean sighed, Sam was right. "Did you bring the duffel in?"

"Yeah, it's at the end of the hall."

"Be right back," Dean said, moving out of the closet. Quickly, he moved down the hall. He grabbed the bag and turned around.

Standing in front of him was Danny Williams's spirit. The spirit curiously turned his head and looked at Dean.

Dean swallowed hard. The spirit started moving toward him. Dean looked to the spirit's hands and noticed there was a knife in its hands. Suddenly, it felt as though Dean couldn't breathe. All he could focus on was the knife in the spirit's hands.

* * *

It was quiet, Sam noted. Much to quiet. The duffel was at the end of the hall. There was no way it should have taken Dean this long. Besides, Sam should have heard Dean's footsteps by now.

Sam walked over to the doorway and stepped out into the hall. Immediately, he saw the spirit of Danny Williams's moving toward his brother. The spirit had its knife out and Dean was completely frozen.

Sam didn't even think. He aimed the shotgun and pulled the trigger. The spirit disappeared.

"Dean," Sam said frantically, moving closer to his brother. "You ok, man?"

Dean swallowed hard and nodded. Sam knew his brother was lying. "Why don't you go wait by the car? I can finish up here," Sam suggested.

"I can hel—"

"It's fine, Dean. I can finish it. Why don't you go clear your head?"

"Fine," Dean said, his voice a mix between anger and relief.

* * *

Sam came out of the house ten minutes later, their duffel bag stuffed with the bones of Danny Williams slung over his shoulder. He dumped the bones out of the bag, doused them in lighter fluid and salt, and set them on fire.

As the bones burned, he turned to look for his brother. Dean was sitting on the ground, leaning back against the Impala. Sam wanted more than anything to go over and help his brother, but knew that he needed space. Instead, Sam watched as the bones burned until there was nothing there except ashes.

* * *

"There's a hunt in Virginia," Dean told Sam the next morning. Dean had gotten up early. Well, it wasn't really getting up if he never went to bed. He had still been pretty shaken up after the last hunt.

"Seriously?" Sam asked. After what had just happened on this hunt, Dean wanted to go start another one? Absolutely not, Sam thought.

"Yeah," Dean said seriously.

"You've got to be kidding me," Sam said in disbelief.

Dean just shrugged.

"You completely froze up, Dean. You nearly got yourself killed. You can't seriously think that going on another hunt is a good idea."

"Sam—"

"Dean just think for a minute. Please. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I'll be fine, Sam," Dean promised. "It was just a one time thing. I swear."

"Dean—" Sam started, but he was cut off by Dean.

"Just trust me on this, Sam," Dean pleaded. Dean couldn't explain it, but he knew that he had to go to Virginia. The hunt was more of a cover up. Dean just needed a reason before Sam would just drop everything to drive all the way across the country. Sure, Dean would have done it for Sam in a heartbeat, but am wasn't Dean. He needed a reason.

Sam still looked skeptical, not that Dean blamed him. He would have been acting exactly how Sam was acting if the roles were reversed. Actually, it had been like that. When Jess had died, Dean constantly worried about Sam even when Sam claimed that he was fine.

"Sam, please."

After a moment, Sam finally agreed. "Fine."

Two days later, Dean pulled the Impala into the parking lot of another sketchy looking motel. Sam went in to pay while Dean waited in the car. He still couldn't explain it, but he still felt that he needed to be here.

Sam came back out to the car and grabbed his bag. Dean followed Sam toward their room. Upon entering, Dean looked around, but noticed nothing unusual.

"Hey man, you ok?" Sam asked. Dean hadn't said much during the entire drive and to say that Sam was worried was a bit of an understatement.

"What?" Dean asked, turning toward his brother.

"I said, are you ok?" Sam repeated.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Cause you know, we could always just skip this and go back to Bobby's."

"No," Dean said instantly.

Sam stared at his brother, wondering what was going on in his head. "Ok."

"I'm sorry. It's just…"Dean trailed off.

"Just what?" Sam prompted.

"I can't really explain it."

"Try."

"I really can't. I just feel that I need to be here," Dean explained.

Sam nodded. It wasn't a lot, but Sam understood where Dean was coming from. Sometimes there were things you just couldn't explain and apparently this was one of them.

"You want me to go get some food?" Sam asked.

"Uh yeah. My usual," Dean said before moving into the bathroom.

Sam sighed, but didn't say anything. Instead he grabbed the keys off the table and went out to find some food.

* * *

Two days passed and nothing out of the ordinary occurred. Well, nothing unusual for Sam and Dean. Most people wouldn't consider chasing after an angry spirit normal.

However, despite everything being normal, it didn't stop Dean from looking for anything out of the ordinary everywhere they went. He still hadn't figured out what the feeling was all about, but it hadn't gone away. Dean still felt like he needed to be here.

Every night, Sam went out to get food while Dean stayed at the motel. Dean hoped that the more he thought about it, he would be able to figure out why he was actually here.

Dean heard the door open and looked over. Sam must have forgotten something because there was no way he could have been back with food that fast. However, when Dean looked over, he didn't see Sam. "Cas?"


	22. Chapter 22

"Hello, Dean," Cas said.

Dean stared at Cas in shock. "You're not real," Dean said. He wanted to believe that Cas was really standing in front of him, but logic was telling him that there was no way that Cas could have been standing in front of him.

"Dean—" Cas said, taking a step toward Dean.

"No," Dean said, shaking his head and taking a step back. His whole mind was racing. He hadn't destroyed Cas's body. He only buried it. That could easily mean that this Cas was a shapeshifter or even a demon.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean noticed the knife sitting on the bed. Sam had unpacked a few things before he left and now, Dean was extremely grateful.

"Dean, it's me," Cas said. Dean didn't care how many times Cas said it. Dean wasn't going to believe him.

Dean slowly moved toward Cas. In reality though, Dean was moving toward the bed so he could grab the knife.

Dean reached down, grabbed the knife, and moved it to plunge it into Cas. Cas was too fast though. He swatted Dean's arm away and forced Dean to drop the knife.

"Dean. It's me."

"No, you are dead. I watched you die," Dean stuttered out.

"I was. My father brought me back," Cas explained gently.

"No," Dean said, shaking his head. In his mind, Dean was trying to plot out a way to get the knife back. If he could stab whatever was possessing Cas, life would be a lot better. Then, maybe, just maybe, Dean could move past this.

"Dean, just listen to me. I was dead. The demon Rebecca stabbed me. I died. My father, though, decided to bring me back."

"And why would he just decide to bring you back?" Dean asked. Maybe if he played into it, he could move passed Cas and get the knife.

"I don't know, but my father always has a reason."

Dean swallowed hard, planning his next move.

* * *

"How's he doing?" Bobby asked. Sam had called him shortly after leaving the motel. Before leaving Bobby's house for their hunt in New Mexico, Bobby made Sam swear to keep him posted on how Dean was doing since both Sam and Bobby knew that Dean would just pretend to be fine.

"He's still not saying much. He was pretty much silent for the whole ride up here," Sam explained.

"Where's up here?"

"Virginia."

"Why the hell are you boys in Virginia?"

"I don't know. Dean kept insisting that we had to come here. I thought about bringing him back to your place—"

"Then why didn't you?" Bobby interrupted.

Sam sighed. "You know how Dean is, once he sets his mind to something, you can't do anything to change it. I tried to reason with him, I really did, but he just kept saying that we had to go on this hunt in Virginia."

"What are you hunting?"

"Looks like it's just a simple spirit. Nothing we shouldn't be able to handle."

"Just like how your brother should have been able to handle that spirit in New Mexico?" Bobby reasoned.

"Bobby, I know but—"

"But nothing. I know you want your brother to be just like he always was, but you gotta realize that he's still dealing with this."

"I know," Sam started.

"Do you?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Your brother's still getting used to the idea of actually having a soulmate, but now he's trying to get used to that idea now that his soulmate is dead. Think about it, Sam."

Sam was silent for a moment. Sure, he had lost his soulmate, but he had known he had a soulmate since the day that Dean had explained what the words on his wrist meant. He was a mess when Jess died, but it was different. He was able to figure out how to deal with it. After all, he knew that Jess was his soulmate, there was plenty of stuff out there for Sam. But Dean didn't even realize that he had a soulmate until after his soulmate was gone. That had to be hard.

"Sam?" Bobby asked after Sam had been silent for awhile.

"I'm here, Bobby. Was just thinking."

"Sam?"

"Yeah, Bobby?"

"Just look out for your brother."

"I will," Sam promised.

* * *

Sam pulled the Impala into the motel parking lot. He still didn't think that they should have gone on this hunt. Dean was dealing with Cas's death. The hunt they had just finished in New Mexico made it crystal clear that Dean was not ready to be hunting again.

Throughout the entire drive out to Virginia, Sam had been considering forcing Dean to turn the car around and forcing Dean to drive back to Bobby's. There was no doubt in Sam's mind that Dean would have put up a fight about it. However, Sam knew it would have been for the best. Dean would have done it for Sam. He had always done what was best for Sam, even if it meant sacrificing something. This time, Sam wouldn't have to sacrifice anything. All he had to do was to get Dean to agree to drive back to South Dakota.

Sam sighed, wondering how he could even convince his brother to do this. Dean had been so insistent on coming to Virginia. It was going to take a lot of effort for Sam to convince him.

Sam grabbed the food that was sitting on the front seat and got out of the car. He could confront Dean about it now and maybe he could wear Dean down to the point he would actually agree to go back to Bobby's.

As Sam got closer to the door, he could hear Dean talking to someone. Now, Sam was really confused. Who on earth would Dean be talking to? Sam moved toward the door and pulled the key out of his pocket. The voices got louder as Sam hastily put the key in the lock. He could tell from what he could hear of Dean's voice that he was clearly upset.

It took Sam a few tries to actually get the key to fit in the lock, but he finally was able to shove the key in the lock and push the door open. Nothing could have prepared Sam for what was standing on the other side of the door.

Dean was standing there looking terrified, angry, and confused. The other man had his back to the door, but Sam recognized Cas instantly. There was no way Sam could have mistaken that trench coat.

Sam didn't know what he was supposed to do. Sam met his brother's eyes and instantly understood. Sam took a quick glance across the room and saw one of their knives lying on the floor a few feet in front of him.

Sam quietly set the food on the floor and moved toward the knife. In one swift motion, Sam picked up the knife and stabbed it into Cas's back.

Dean watched as Sam plunged the knife into Cas's back. He expected to see whatever was possessing Cas die. Instead, Cas didn't even flinch. It was like he didn't even notice that he had been stabbed.

Sam took a step back in shock. He met Dean's eyes and both brothers had a moment of realization.

Dean's eyes widened. "Cas?" he asked.

"Hello, Dean," Cas said, as if it hadn't even bothered him that it had taken Dean this long to realize that it was really him.

"Cas," Dean repeated, moving closer. Dean slowly reached out and rested a hand on Cas's shoulder. Cas was real. He was here standing right in front of him. Dean reached out, wrapped his arms around Cas and pulled him close.

Dean took a couple of deep breaths, trying to wrap his brain around everything that had just happened. All he could think was that Cas was back. He didn't know how or why, but that wasn't important right now. All that mattered was that Cas was actually back.

After a moment, Dean took a step back and looked at Cas. Cas just smiled. "Hello," he said again.

Now that Dean had let go of Cas, Sam took a step forward and removed the knife that was sticking out of Cas's back.

"Cas?" Sam asked.

"Sam," Cas greeted, turning slightly to look at Sam.

"You look great, Cas," Dean commented, although Sam was thinking the same thing. If neither brother had known better, they would have never been able to tell that Cas had been dead for the last three and a half weeks.

"Thank you."

"But seriously, how are you back?" Dean asked.

"I already told you, Dean," Cas repeated, "my father brought me back."

"You're telling me that  _God_  brought you back?" Dean clarified. Why on earth would God bring Cas back? When had God ever cared about something good happening to Dean Winchester? After all, Cas's death was just another things that could be added to the list of why God hates Dean Winchester.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

Dean turned to Sam and the brothers shared a look of confusion. After a few seconds, Dean said, "You know what? Who cares? You're here now. Isn't that what counts?"

"I guess that is what counts," Cas said.

Tonight, Dean decided, he could just focus on being happy now that Cas was back. Tomorrow they could start to solve the mystery of why Cas had actually been brought back. Or, Dean thought, he could just not worry about it at all. If something had finally gone well, who was he to question it?


	23. Chapter 23

Dean and Cas sat down on Dean's bed, while Sam sat down at one of the chairs by the small table in their motel room. All three of them were trying to figure out what had happened. Cas was a angel, but he still shouldn't have been able to resurrect himself. Nothing really made sense.

"So you still have no idea why you are back?" Sam asked.

"No," Cas answered. "I just remember coming to help you fight and then I woke up in heaven and then I came here. I don't remember anything else."

"Wait, you came here first?" Dean asked.

"Yes," Cas responded as if it were obvious. "Where else would I go?"

Dean just shook his head and smiled. The fact that this was the first place that Cas thought to come after waking up said a lot about how important Dean was to Cas. There weren't many people who came to Dean first for problems that didn't deal with ghosts or monsters. "I don't know, but I'm glad you came here."

"That's so weird," Sam said, changing the subject back. He, too, was happy that this was the first place Cas came, but that didn't answer the question of how Cas came back. "I mean, I know that you're an angel and everything, but still. It was a whole month."

Dean shrugged. "I don't know. Why don't we just say who cares?"

"You don't care why Cas came back?" Sam asked. He would have thought that Dean would have been trying to figure out everything. Not even two weeks ago, Dean had finally accepted the fact that Cas was his soulmate. His soulmate had just died and now he was back and now Dean didn't care why he was back?

Dean just shrugged again.

"Seriously?" Sam asked in disbelief.

"I mean I care," Dean clarified, "but can't we just accept this one thing and just not worry about why it happened? I mean, nothing good ever happens to us. Let's just take this one thing and not question it."

"Uh, yeah. I guess," Sam responded awkwardly.

There was an awkward moment of silence, since no one really knew what they were supposed to say next.

"What happened while I was gone?" Cas finally asked asked.

"Uh, you didn't really miss much," Dean lied. "We went to Bobby's for a bit and then took care of a spirit."

Sam caught on to the fact that Dean didn't want to talk about what had really happened during that time when Cas was away. Maybe Dean would tell Cas some day, but now was definitely not the time.

"Was it anything hard?"

Dean shook his head. "Not really. Just your normal, everyday, vengeful spirit."

Sam had to stifle a laugh at how normal Dean made taking out a spirit sounding.

"That's good," Cas said.

"Yeah, it wasn't quite the same without you here though," Sam said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, it takes a lot longer to heal," Sam joked.

"I'm sorry, Sam—" Cas started to say.

"Whoa," Dean interrupted. "What are you apologizing for?"

"I should have been there to help you," Cas reasoned.

"Cas, you were…" Dean trailed off. He just couldn't bring himself to say that Cas had died. Sure, he had actually experienced it and lived it, but he really, really did not want to talk about all of that. Dean shook his head. "The point is, you weren't here, but we were ok. See, me and Sammy are doing just fine."

Cas was silent. Sam realized that Cas didn't quite see it that way, but he going to accept it.

* * *

At about one in the morning, Dean, Sam, and Cas started to realize just how late it had gotten. They must have gotten way too invested in their conversation. Cas insisted that he should go because there was work for him to do in heaven.

"You don't have to go," Dean said to Cas.

"I am needed in heaven," Cas replied.

"So just don't go. You just got back. You should get some time for yourself before you have to do all their dirty work," Dean reasoned.

Cas seemed to contemplate what Dean had just said.

"Come on, Cas, just take a beak," Dean encouraged. He didn't want Cas to go. Dean was terrified that this was all some kind of crazy dream and that once Cas left, he wouldn't come back. After one month away from him, Dean wasn't ready to let Cas go just yet.

"Ok," Cas finally agreed.

* * *

Sam didn't say anything when Cas stuck around later than he normally would have. After all, it looked as though his brother had finally come to terms with Cas being his soulmate, even if it took him way too long to actually figure it out. Put that together with the fact that Cas had been gone for about a month and it was completely understandable why Dean wanted Cas to stay.

Part of Sam wanted to give Dean a hard time about it, but he stopped himself. He knew that he would be the exact same way if Jess came back. It may have been over four years since she had died, but that didn't mean that Sam wouldn't do anything to bring Jess back.

There was also a part of Sam that was jealous of Dean. How come he got his soulmate back? Sam, as well as millions of people around the world, watched their soulmate die and would never get to see them again. What made Dean so special? Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Dean had gone the majority of his life thinking that he had no soulmate and would always be alone. Maybe this was a way for the universe to apologize for the way it had treated Dean.

In the end, Sam didn't say anything to Dean about the fact that Cas was staying. And he definitely didn't say anything when Cas ended up spending the night.

* * *

Sam had gone out to get dinner for Dean, Cas, and himself. Cas, like always, had insisted that he didn't need anything to eat. Dean, like always, had somehow convinced him to eat, saying that his vessel could probably do with a nice big juicy cheeseburger. Cas had perked up a bit when Dean had mentioned cheeseburgers, although he still had insisted that he didn't need anything.

After Sam had left, Dean and Cas sat across from each other, just talking.

"So now that you're back, what are you going to do?" Dean asked.

"Whatever I am told to do in heaven," Cas responded.

"Don't you ever get tired of just following their orders?" Dean asked. "I mean, haven't you been doing that for the last couple million years?"

"Yes, but it's what I am supposed to do," Cas reasoned. Dean supposed that Cas had a point. After all, in Cas's head it probably made perfect sense. That didn't mean that Dean thought it was good.

"So?"

"I was made with a purpose, Dean. I'm supposed to serve my father and heaven."

"Yeah, but who says you actually have to do it."

"The last angel that went against my father was Lucifer," Cas said, knowing full well that Dean would be able to fill in the details of what he was trying to say.

"Ok, so I'm not saying you have to go that far, but you should be able to have some fun and do what you want to do."

"I am doing what I want to do," Cas said bluntly.

It took Dean a moment to comprehend what Cas had just said. Cas was doing what he wanted? That would mean that what he wanted was to right now. And what Cas was doing right now was sitting on a crappy bed in a filthy motel room in the middle of nowhere.

Dean couldn't explain the feeling that ran through his body as he realized that what Cas wanted to do was to be with him. More than anything, Dean was happy because there was someone who actually wanted to be with him. Sure, there was Sam, but every now and then Dean got a feeling that Sam was just there because he didn't have anywhere else to go. But here was Cas, who wanted to be here during his free time. Cas could be anywhere, literally anywhere, yet, he still chose to be here.

"Thanks, Cas," Dean said quietly after a long pause. Dean didn't think it would be possible to convey how much what Cas had just said had really meant to him.

"You are welcome, Dean."

Without thinking, Dean leaned forward, reached out, placed his hands on Cas's cheeks and pulled him close, and planted his lips firmly on Cas's face. After a brief moment, Dean pulled away when he had realized what he had just done.

"I—I just—" Dean stuttered. He couldn't really explain what had just possessed him to kiss Cas, but he definitely didn't regret it.

Cas leaned forward and cut off Dean's stuttering by leaning forward and kissing Dean. Dean stopped stuttering and relaxed a bit, kissing Cas back.

* * *

"Michael?" Raphael asked hesitantly as he walked into the room. He knew that his brother wasn't going to be happy with this news. Raphael wasn't exactly happy with the news himself, but he knew that Michael would without a doubt be angrier than he was.

"Yes?"

"Castiel is alive," Raphael said bluntly, figuring that there was no way he could sugarcoat it. Michael was going to find out eventually and it was probably better that he was hearing it now rather than later.

Michael frowned. "Castiel is dead." He had known that his brother had died. He had celebrated with Raphael because their work was finally done. It was even better because he didn't have to get involved. But now Castiel was alive? That was just not possible.

"I know that. But Father must have brought him back."

Michael let out a deep sigh, but remained silent after that, trying to think of what he could do to stop this. If their father brought Castiel back, there must be a reason. However, this made no sense to Michael. After all, his father knew what this would mean.

"Why would Father bring him back?" Raphael asked.

"I don't know," Michael responded honestly.

"But doesn't he understand that—"

"Of course he understands," Michael snapped. "Father always understands. He's why this all exists in the first place."

"But if he understands, why would he bring Castiel back?" Raphael asked again. He just wanted to understand. Raphael had always been told that his father always had a reason for everything, but that didn't mean Raphael, or any of the other angels, understood it. Just this once, he wished he understood.

"I already told you, I don't know," Michael repeated, wishing that Raphael would just be quiet so he could try and think of a plan.

Both archangels were silent for a minute, each lost in their own thoughts. Both were thinking of what they could do to change all of this, although neither archangel had many ideas.

"What are we going to do?" Raphael finally asked after several minutes had passed.

"We'll think of something," Michael promised. "We will have to do something about this."

"What do you have in mind?"

"I'm still thinking."

"We can get our brothers to take Castiel again," Raphael suggested.

"That didn't work the last time. I don't want to see the same thing happen again. No," Michael said. "I don't want to see failure again. Besides, Castiel will probably be expecting it. After what happened the last time, he was more careful and spent less with the angels and more time with those humans."

"Then what are you thinking?" Raphael asked.

"I have one idea, but we will have to get involved. I don't want to have to deal with this again. This will be the last time and it will be done right," Michael said firmly. This was going to work. It had to work.


	24. Chapter 24

Sam got back with dinner and immediately knew that something was up. He wasn't sure what had happened exactly, but he was absolutely positive that something had happened. Dean was way too happy. It wasn't as though Dean didn't have a right to be happy. Rather it was almost as if Dean was  _too_  happy. Sam couldn't ever remember a time where Dean had been this happy. Never. Not when he had gotten his first kill or the first time he kissed a girl or the first time he had sex with a girl. Not even when Dad had given Dean the keys to the Impala and told him that the car was now his.

The only thing that Sam could think of was that it had to be something with Cas. There was no other explanation. Maybe it just happened to people who's soulmate returns? It wasn't exactly a concrete answer since there was absolutely no way that Sam would be able to prove it. It wasn't as if there was a line of people who had their soulmate come back from the dead.

Sam wanted to ask Dean about it, but the problem was that he could never find a good time to actually talk to him about it. Cas was always there. Sam had no problem with the fact that Cas was there all of the time, but he had to admit that Cas's presence made it difficult to talk to Dean about some of these things. When it concerned things about a hunt or what they were going to do, there was no problem. But for more personal things, it was definitely a problem.

Sam's opportunity finally came nearly a week later. Dean had been doing every humanly possible to get Cas to stay. However, Sam had noticed that it didn't take  _that_  much effort to get him to stay anymore. Cas was offering to stay and even willing to put some of his duties in heaven on hold. But, tonight was different.

"I have to go, Dean," Cas insisted.

"They've survived without you for a few days, what's one more?" Dean reasoned.

"I don't want them to get suspicious. I still have duties and responsibilities in heaven and I can't continue to ignore them."

"Why not?"

"Eventually, the other angels will notice and come to figure out what why I am not in heaven," Cas explained.

"And that is bad because?"

"You don't want the angels to come here," Cas said seriously.

"They're angels," Dean reasoned. "What's the worst that they are going to do?"

"You have no idea what they are capable of," Cas said, remembering what had happened just a few months ago when they had taken him prisoner in heaven at the orders of Michael and Raphael. Dean still didn't know what had happened during that time. He only knew that Cas had been away and Cas had absolutely no intentions of changing that. Dean didn't need to know that angels were capable of  _that_.

"They're servants of God. Aren't they supposed to be the good guys?"

"My father hasn't been around in some time," Cas said.

"I thought he was the reason you're back," Dean said.

"He was, but just because He came back to bring me back doesn't mean that he is going to stay," Cas explained.

Dean instantly knew what Cas was talking about. Dean couldn't count the number of times his own father would come just to move them to a new motel or giving them some more money before taking off again.

"While the angels still do good, there are some who do not," Cas continued. "All of us are capable of much more than you think."

"Ok, fine," Dean relented. "We won't get the angels involved. So that means you're going up to heaven?"

"Yes. I will have to go for a short time to they do not become suspicious."

"Ok. Go do what you have to do," Dean said.

"I will be back soon," Cas promised.

"Have fun," Dean said sarcastically.

Sam and Dean heard a ruffle of feathers and Cas was gone. Dean, as always, continued to stare at the spot where Cas disappeared for a few moments.

Dean snapped out of it and turned to his brother. "So what's the plan?" he asked.

"The plan?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, we got some time. What do you want to do?"

"Doesn't matter," Sam said with a shrug. "Wanna go to the bar?"

"That works."

Not too long later, Dean and Sam were sitting at a table in the no name bar of this no name town, drinking beer.

"So what's the plan?" Sam asked.

"The plan?"

"Yeah, we've finished this hunt two days ago. You want to head out anytime soon?"

Dean shrugged, taking a sip of his beer. "We could. Got any ideas as to where?"

Sam shook his head. "I haven't been looking, but I can poke around the internet tomorrow and see what I can find."

"Can't wait," Dean said.

"So I have a question," Sam asked after an awkward silence.

"Shoot."

"What's gotten into you lately?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been acting different."

"No I haven't," Dean argued. At least, he didn't think he was acting any differently than he normally did.

"Yes you have. You've been happier, and that's not a bad thing," Sam added quickly. "But you've been really, really happy lately and I'm wondering what's going on."

"Nothing," Dean said.

"That's crap. It's something with Cas, isn't it?"

"Just drop it, Sam."

"I'm just saying—"

"And I'm just saying that you can drop it. What happens with me and Cas doesn't have to concern you," Dean said, interrupting Sam.

"So it is about Cas," Sam concluded. So if it was about Cas, what specifically was it about? Sure, Cas was back, but Cas had been back for nearly two weeks. There was definitely something going on. Sam thought back to his time with Jess, trying to think of some kind of parallel or something that would give him a hint as to what is going on.

Dean just shook his head, taking another drink from his beer. More than anything, he wished that Sam would just drop it. It didn't concern Sam. But then again, Dean was always concerned about Sam. But this was different. This was about soulmates and there were some things that Dean would just like to keep to himself.

All of the sudden, a look of realization came across Sam's face. He knew exactly what was going on with his brother. "You kissed Cas," Sam said.

It wasn't an accusing tone. It was more of a stating a fact. Despite that, Dean's eyes widened in horror when he realized Sam knew what had happened. "What— How—" Dean stuttered out. He wasn't ashamed of it, but he would have really rather kept some things to himself.

"It wasn't that hard, Dean," Sam said.

Dean just shook his head and refused to talk. Instead, he pretended to be extremely fascinated with the label on his beer bottle. He wasn't going to talk about this with his brother and he definitely wasn't going to talk about it in some bar in some no name town.

"There's nothing wrong with it," Sam said once Dean had gone completely silent.

"I don't want to talk about it," Dean said firmly.

Sam knew from that tone that he wasn't going to get anything out of Dean. Maybe he shouldn't have pushed that hard, but he couldn't go back and change it now. All he could do was hope that his brother wasn't too angry with him. "Wanna play some pool?" Sam suggested, after another minute of awkward silence.

"I guess," Dean said, standing up from their table.

At least, Dean was still willing to play pool. That had to mean that he wasn't that mad at him.

* * *

"Sam, you wanna go get some food?" Dean asked. He and Cas were on the bed, just talking.

"Uh, yeah," Sam said. That was another thing. Why had Dean started to insist that Sam should go get dinner. Sure, Cas was here. But that never made a difference before. Dean would just insist that Cas should come along with them. "What do you want?" Sam asked, standing up from the table.

"Cheeseburger and onion rings."

"Again?"

Dean turned to face Sam. "Yeah. Is there a problem?"

"You've been eating nothing but cheeseburgers and onion rings for the last how many days. How are you not sick of them by now?"

"Magic," Dean answered. "Now go get food. I'm hungry."

"Cas, you want anything?" Sam asked before he left.

"No thank you, Sam."

"Ok. I'll be back later."

Sam grabbed the keys off the table and headed out of the room. The drive to the diner was short, but the wait for the food seemed to take forever. However, it did give Sam some more time to think. He now knew what was going on with Dean. He had kissed Cas. It was nothing to be ashamed of and in reality he had made it a lot longer than Sam had with Jess. They had kissed that first night. But Dean had waited a long time. Granted, it did take Dean awhile to actually accept that fact that Cas was his soulmate. But still, Dean had made it a lot longer than Sam would have ever expected. Especially considering the relationships he had had with girls over the last decade and a half.

Finally, Sam's food was ready. He gave the waitress a twenty and walked back out to the car and drove the short route back to the motel.

* * *

"Dean, can I ask you something?" Cas asked, once Sam had gone out to get food.

"Sure, Cas. What's up?"

"Why did you bury my vessel's body?" Cas asked. It had been something that had been bothering him since he came back.

"I don't know," Dean admitted. At the time, he wasn't quite sure why he buried the body either. Normally, he and Sam would have salted and burned the body without a second thought, but this time it was different. "I guess I thought…."

"You thought what?"

"I don't really know. I guess I was just hoping that you were going to come back and that if we kept Jimmy's body or something…" Dean trailed off. "I don't know. I honestly can't even tell you what made me do it."

"I'm glad you didn't burn it," Cas admitted.

"What?"

"I have been using this vessel for some time now and have grown accustomed to it. I like this vessel."

"I like it too," Dean admitted quietly. He couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he had burned that body. Cas still could have had a vessel, but it wouldn't be the same. Cas could have still been here, but if he had a different vessel, Dean was almost positive that it wouldn't feel the same. Dean knew that it was supposed to be all about the person and not about what they look like, but if Cas didn't look like Cas, he didn't know what he would do. It wouldn't be  _his_  Cas.

* * *

As Sam drove down the road, he couldn't stop thinking. Seriously, would it kill Dean to go get dinner once in a while? Dean used to always help out, but now all he wanted to do was spend time with Cas. There wasn't any problem with that really, since he had been the exact same way when he had met Jess. Sam remembered how their friends would make fun of them for spending so much time together. But none of their friends had really understood it since they had never met their soulmates.

Everyone knew about the physical symptoms of being away from your soulmate too long. That was always covered in school. The thing they never talked about was the emotional connection that was formed. While each person knew about the physical symptoms and would therefore never want to be away from their soulmate, it went far beyond that. Once you met, you  _never_ wanted to be apart. It was almost as if some impossibly strong magnet was holding you to the other.

Sam remembered how hard it had been to say good night to Jess and leave her, even though they were only one floor away. It had been that way from the night they had first met. Dean had been different though. In the beginning, he was indifferent to Cas's presence, almost annoyed with it. But little by little, Cas had grown on Dean to the point where Dean had wanted Cas around. Now, though, Dean had finally accepted the fact that he and Cas were soulmates even though neither had a name and it was nearly impossible to separate the pair.

Thinking back to how he was with Jess, Sam wondered how Dean got through everything. Sam absolutely hated being away from Jess. Sure, they would always call and send text messages and emails back and forth when they were apart, but they tried incredibly hard to not be physically apart. That wasn't exactly a possibility for Dean. Dean was still dedicated to hunting and trying to save as many people as he possibly could. Meanwhile, Cas still had responsibilities in heaven and it wasn't as if Dean could just come along. And that wasn't even taking into account everything Dean had gone through in his life before he had met Cas. Maybe he could ask Dean about it some time, even though he would probably just blow it off and not want to tai about it because of the "no chick flick moments" rule.

Sam pulled the Impala into the parking lot of the no name motel they were currently staying at. It was just like every other motel they had ever stayed at. Half of the letters in the neon sign advertising the motel were burnt out. The building itself needed a serious paint job and the several of the windows had cracks in them. At least at places like this, they didn't ask any questions.

Sam stepped out of the car and carefully balanced the food in one hand as he made his way to the door while trying to dig out the key in his pocket.

As Sam slid the key into the lock, he started to hear it. On the other side of the door, there was moaning and panting. Sam stood there for a brief second before realizing what exactly was going on behind the door. His brother was having sex with an angel, in the room they were supposed to be sharing.

Sam yanked the key out of the lock and took a step back, trying to get the thoughts out of his mind. He set the food in the back seat of the Impala before walking into the main office, making a mental note to always get two rooms from now on.


	25. Chapter 25

Sam woke up, ready to get to work. It wasn't often that he woke up eager to work on a hunt, but they were getting close to closing up this one and Dean had promised that they were going to take a break after this one. That break was something that Sam was incredibly excited for. Sam could hunt, but they had been going on hunt after hunt for the last two months without any break, unless driving from hunt to hunt counted as a break. But Sam refused to count that as a break because Dean would literally drive all day so they could get started on the next hunt as soon as they possibly could.

Cas was still traveling with them. Well, he was traveling with them as much as he could since he was still trying to keep up appearances in heaven so that no one would get suspicious. But the fact was that Cas was still with them the majority of the time. Every now and then, Sam thought about how weird it was that he was so comfortable with Cas being around all the time. If, two years ago, you would have told Sam that he would not only be traveling the road and hunting with his brother, but also with his brother's soulmate, Sam would threw holy water at you. That wasn't even taking the fact that Dean's soulmate was an angel into account. But Cas actually was able to make Dean happy, and Sam really couldn't argue with that.

Sam got out of bed and went to take a shower. It was weird for the first couple nights not sharing a room with his brother. Sure he had done it at Stanford, but this was different. Dean was in the same building but they weren't sharing a room. However, Sam learned that there were some perks to it. Most importantly, there was actually hot water when he wanted to take a shower. He no longer had to take ice cold showers because his brother had taken his sweet time in the bathroom and used up every last drop. Sure, they have to spend more money, but in the end, it is definitely worth it.

Sam took his shower and got dressed before heading to the room Dean was sharing with Cas so they could get some breakfast. Sam knocked on the door and waited. He listened, but it was incredibly quiet. Way too quiet for two people. Even if Cas had left and it was just Dean, it was still too quiet.

Sam knocked again, this time a little louder. "Dean, come on."

Still, Sam heard nothing and he started to panic. Dean always came to the door if Sam knocked and Dean would have known that it was Sam because of the special knock that he had used. Sam quickly glanced around and made sure that no one was watching him. Quickly and carefully, Sam picked the lock and went inside.

There was no doubt that Dean had been here last night, but now it was completely deserted. The sheets on the bed lay in a mess at the foot of the bed. Dean's duffle bag sat open on the floor, some of his clothes spilled out around it. There was a damp towel laying across the chair. The door to the bathroom was wide open and the light was off. Sitting on the small table were files containing the information they had dug up about this hunt as well as their father's journal.

"Dean?" Sam asked again, just to be sure. Again, he was met only by silence.

Sam walked to the window, pushed aside the tattered drapes. The Impala was still sitting in the parking lot. Sam glanced at the table again and saw the Impala's keys laying not too far from their father's journal. So if all of Dean's stuff was still here, where was Dean?

Now, Sam was completely panicking. Dean was supposed to be here and yet, he wasn't here. Dean always waited for him, gave Sam some indication of where he was going, and at the very least always came back. There were a handful of nights and mornings when Sam woke up and Dean wasn't there. It didn't happen often, but it happened a few times. Dean always promised that he wouldn't leave Sam, that if Sam would wake up and Dean wasn't there, Dean would be back quickly. That had always been the case, except for three times. The first when Dean was sixteen and got busted trying to steal food from a store. The second was when Sam was at Stanford. It took Sam a while to get adjusted to that. The third and final time was the worst. Dean was in Hell and Sam, at least at that time, had thought that Dean was never coming back. But now Dean wasn't here, and Sam was expecting the worst. He was terrified that when he found Dean, he was only going to find his body and that thought alone was enough to push Sam to look everywhere he could and to do anything possible to find his brother.

Over the next hour, Sam scoured through every inch of Dean's room, looking for some clue as to where Dean had gone. Despite his exhaustive effort, Sam came up completely empty, which only caused him to panic more. During that time, it became evident that Dean hadn't just gone out for breakfast. He definitely would have been back by now, considering the diner was just a short block away.

Giving up hope of finding any kind of clue in Dean's room, Sam walked out of the room and out to the Impala. It was still locked and looked as if it hadn't been touched since they had pulled into the motel parking lot last night.

Now Sam was definitely panicking. His father had trained him to always pick up on the tiniest of clues. But here, there was absolutely nothing. By this point Sam was absolutely positive that Dean hadn't just wandered off, which begged the question, who or what had taken Dean? Sam didn't have a clue where to start. If this was any other case, he would have started by sweeping the motel room. The problem was that he did that and got nowhere. So now what?

Sam stopped and thought about what he should do. He had never been in this situation before. Dean was never one to just completely take off. Even when their dad had taken out all of his frustration on Dean. Dean had been upset, but he would never actually say anything about it. Instead, he would stick around and pretend everything was fine. Sometimes he would take a walk to clear his head, but he was always very clear about where he was going and that he would be back soon. Sam, on the other hand, was completely different. He would yell at his father and sometimes even completely take off. Sam remembered leaving for Flagstaff, knowing full well that Dean and his father had absolutely no idea where Sam was heading.

Sam pulled himself from his thoughts and forced himself to focus. Dean was gone and he had to find him. Sam was at least fairly certain that it had nothing to do with the hunt they were working on since Dean wasn't a blonde woman in his mid-thirties. Sam wasn't sure if he should be thankful or relieved. Either way though, it didn't give Sam any leads as to where Dean was and Sam was sure that someone or something had taken Dean.

After he realized that there was nothing else that he could do, Sam pulled out his phone and dialed the number of the only person he thought would be able to help.

"Bobby!" Sam exclaimed frantically into the phone. "I can't find Dean."

"What do you mean you can't find him?"

"I mean that I went to his room this morning and I couldn't find him or Cas. The Impala's still sitting in the parking lot and all of his stuff is still there and I don't know what happened to him!"

"Ok," Bobby said calmly. "How long has he been gone?"

"I went to his room this morning and he wasn't there. I've looked all over town, but there's nothing."

"Wait? Don't you boys share a motel room?"

"Yeah, but then Dean accepted the fact that Cas was his soulmate and well…" Sam trailed off, knowing that Bobby would be able to fill in the details himself.

"Ok. I see your point."

"And normally Dean would leave a note or something. You know he doesn't like to just take off somewhere without telling someone where he's going, unless he's really upset. But there's been nothing in the last few weeks that would have pissed him off that much. And Cas is gone too," Sam explained.

"You try praying?"

"Of course I have, Bobby. But Cas isn't answering prayers. I just don't know what to do," Sam admitted.

"Where are you?"

"Potlatch, Idaho."

Sam heard Bobby fiddling with something and assumed he was looking at a map trying to figure out how long it would take him to get out there.

"I can get out there, Sam, but it's going to take some time."

"That's fine. Just hurry."

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Let me know if you find anything."

"I will," Sam said. "And thanks, Bobby."

"Don't mention it. Now go keep trying to find your brother."

Sam ended the call with Bobby feeling slightly better. Bobby would definitely be able to help, but the fact still remained that Dean had been gone for hours. And who knew how long he had been gone before Sam had gotten to his room? Bobby could help, although Sam just hoped that Bobby wouldn't be helping to find his brother's body. Sam just couldn't go through that again. He had watched Dean almost die several times and fully die once. That was way more than Sam had ever wanted. Right now though, he had to try and stay positive and hope that his brother was actually alive somewhere out there.

* * *

Dean woke up, completely surrounded by the darkness, wondering where he was. He blinked a few times, hoping that it would help and that he might be able to make out something, but there was no such luck. There was absolutely no incoming in the entire room.

Dean thought back but didn't remember much. He remembered being in the motel room, but he couldn't remember much after that. Had he been drinking? No, because Cas was there. _Cas_ , Dean thought. Where was Cas?

"Cas?" Dean hesitantly asked. He held his breath, hoping that he would hear something, but all he heard was silence. Cas wasn't with him and that terrified Dean. Where was he? Where was Cas?

Dean felt his pockets for his phone and again, there was no luck. Whoever had taken him must have taken everything out of his pockets before he woke up. He had no phone, no wallet, not even lose change in his pockets.

Trying his hardest not to panic, Dean felt around the room, hoping that it would give him some clue as to where he was. Slowly, Dean reached out in front of him, trying to feel for a wall or anything. Not feeling anything now that his arms were fully extended, he took a step forward. His hand hit a rough, cold wall. Dean walked along it until he found the corner.

By the time Dean had walked the entirety of the room, he had realized he was truly trapped. The room was extremely tiny. It seemed to be about half the size of the motel rooms Dean had grown up in. That wasn't even taking into account the fact that Dean had no idea where he even was or if anyone knew he was gone. He also didn't know how long he had been out before he had woken up.

To make matters even worse, Dean had walked around the whole room only to find that there was no door. At least, there was nothing he could feel. He was completely trapped in this small square with no way out.

The fear started to set in. "Help!" Dean screamed as he started to bang on the walls. He wasn't going to die in some dark, little room. "Sam! Cas! Help me!" Deep down, Dean knew that it was probably no use, but that wasn't going to stop him from trying. "Cas! Help!"


	26. Chapter 26

Sam rubbed his face with his hands as he stared over the stacks of papers that lay across the table. He hadn't gotten any sleep in a little over a day. Ever since his brother had gone missing, Sam just couldn't sleep and he knew that he wouldn't be able to actually sleep until he found Dean. Sam was completely worried sick about his brother and that was definitely starting to take a toll on him. He could rest after he found Dean. He just needed to find Dean soon.

Sam jumped as he heard a rough knocking on the door. He stumbled out of the chair and to the door of the motel. Opening the door, he came face to face with Bobby.

"Bobby, thank god," Sam said gratefully, breathing a sigh of relief. It wasn't as good as having Dean on that side of the door, but it was the next best thing. If anyone would be able to help track down Dean, it was Bobby.

"Nothing new?" Bobby asked as Sam stepped aside to let Bobby into the small motel room. Bobby could instantly see how much Sam had been going through in the past couple days. Papers lay strewn across the floor and tapped to the wall. The bed looked as though it hadn't been touched in days. Sam's laptop sat open on top of another stack of papers next to a partially full bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Nothing," Sam said exhaustedly. "I've looked everywhere and I've talked to almost everyone in this town. No one's seen him."

"The manager see him leave?"

"No. I talked to the guy but he said he didn't see anything. Just saw Dean coming back with me the night before," Sam said. "I don't even know where to go anymore. He's not in this town."

"We'll find him," Bobby promised.

"Are you hearing me, Bobby? Dean's not in this town anymore. The Impala's still here and we have no idea where he would have gone," Sam snapped. Deep down, Sam knew that he shouldn't snap at Bobby. He was only trying to help.

"Watch your tone, boy," Bobby threatened.

Sam just stared at Bobby, defeated. He wanted to believe Bobby, he really did, but with every bit of time that passed, it became harder and harder to believe that. "Ok, Bobby. You're right. But we've got nothing. No one in town has seen him. The Impala's still here and you know that Dean wouldn't leave without that."

"Well, your brother's got one other way to travel," Bobby said.

"What are you talking about? Dean only drives places, you know that. And besides, how would he have gotten anywhere else without driving. We're in the middle of nowhere."

"He may not do planes, but Cas has got his own way of getting around."

"Great thought, Bobby, but I've tried praying. Cas either isn't answering or can't hear anything."

"You know, there was another time when this happened," Bobby reminded him.

"You think the angels took Cas?" Sam asked. It seemed far fetched. No, it seemed much more than that. Why would the angels take Cas again? They had already done that once before and it failed, why would they think that it would be a good idea to try it again?

"I'm not saying anything for sure. I'm just thinking that we need to use all of our options and frankly, if we can get that angel down here, we'll probably have a better shot of getting to Dean."

"So you think we should do a summoning ritual again?"

"It's all we got right now. And if that gets us that angel, we're one step closer to Dean."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "What do we all need?"

* * *

Bobby was just about to throw the match into the bowl as he chanted the final words to the ritual. However, just before he dropped it, Sam and Bobby heard a flutter of wings and immediately turned their attention to the man that just appeared. Sam reached over and grabbed the gun that was sitting on the bed. He knew that it would be effective, but it was all he had right now.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked, aiming his gun.

"Relax," the man said, calmly.

"Why should I?" Sam asked, still pointing his gun at the man. He had met this thing before and he definitely was not going to relive that.

"Because I can help your brother."

"Yeah," Sam laughed. "You're going to help my brother."

"Believe it or not, Sam, I can help him."

"How's a trickster supposed to help my brother?"

"Yeah," Bobby said, joining the conversation. "The last time I saw you, you didn't exactly seem like the helping type."

The trickster shrugged. "Clearly you don't know me as well as I know you."

"You're a trickster. What else is there to know?"

Taking a deep breath, the trickster said, "My name is Gabriel."

"Gabriel?" Sam asked, confused. Who was Gabriel? Did tricksters have real names?

"Hmm. I was told that you were supposed to be intelligent. I guess they were wrong," Gabriel said, starting to move around the room. The fact that he had a gun pointed at him didn't seem to phase him.

"How did you get here?" Sam asked, keeping the gun pointed at Gabriel. After all, he still wasn't sure if he could trust him yet.

"Hello? Archangel," Gabriel said, pointing to himself. "They really need to rethink their definition of intelligent."

"Wait a minute," Sam said. "Gabriel? As in the angel who had to tell Mary she was pregnant?"

"The one and only and what a time that was. Seriously, you should have been there," Gabriel joked. He looked at both Sam and Bobby's faces. Neither of them seemed to find the same humor in this as Gabriel had. "Ok. Obviously not the same humor."

"Why are you here?" Sam asked again.

"You need to find your brother. I can help," Gabriel said simply.

"Yeah, and how are you going to help?" Bobby asked, joining the conversation.

"Look," Gabriel said as he stopped pacing. He looked at Sam and Bobby seriously and said, "I know where they are keeping your brother."

"Who has him?" Sam asked.

"My brothers."

"You're saying that other angels have Dean?" Sam asked.

"Not just angels. My brothers, Michael and Raphael. They're both archangels."

That was definitely not what he wanted to hear. If the archangels had taken a powerful angel like Cas, what could they do to a human. Dean was strong, but there was no doubt that two archangels were exponentially more powerful.

"How do you know that the archangels have Dean?" Sam had to be sure.

"Hello? Archangel?"

"Yeah, but then wouldn't you be one of the bad guys?" Sam reasoned. "How do I know that you are going to help us and that this isn't some trap?"

"Fine. Leave your brother, but I can tell you that if you don't trust me and come with me now, your brother is as good as dead. You want to try that summoning ritual? You think that's going to work?"

"It's worked before," Bobby reasoned.

"Yeah, but don't you think that the archangels aren't going to be a little suspicious when the angel they're holding just goes missing? What do you think they're going to do to Dean when they realize that?"

Sam clenched his jaw. He needed to get to Dean, but he wasn't sure if trusting an archangel was his best idea. However, at this moment, it was the only thing he could do. He couldn't risk letting Dean spend anymore time with those dicks. "What do we have to do?"

"Sam," Bobby warned. Gabriel had made some good points, but that didn't mean that Bobby was completely ready to trust an archangel.

"Bobby, archangels have my brother and who knows what they're doing to him. Gabriel may be the best chance we have to actually get to Dean. I don't see another option here."

"You don't trust me, fine. But the longer we stand here arguing about it means the more likely it is that your brother is going to die," Gabriel said, interrupting Sam and Bobby.

"Give me one good reason why I should trust you," Bobby said.

"I'm on your side."

"You're an archangel," Bobby accused.

"Yeah, I am. And you're a human. You're telling me that all humans are good?" Gabriel challenged. "Look, I left heaven. I couldn't take any of the fighting, but Cas is my brother and I'm not going to let him get hurt at the hands of my other brothers. Now, can we get going already?"

"Fine," Bobby said. "Bring Dean here when you get him. I'll get the place ready."

"We will," Sam promised, hoping that he would at least be bringing Dean back alive, but at this point, he had no idea. "Thanks, Bobby."

"Ok," Gabriel said, putting a hand on Sam's shoulder. With a flutter of wings, Gabriel and Sam disappeared from the room.

Sam blinked a few times to take in his surroundings. He didn't recognize anything and had no clue where he was. "Gabriel? Where are we?" Sam asked in a hushed tone.

"Heaven."

* * *

Dean sat slumped against the cold, stone wall, trying to stay conscious and focused. With every minute that passed, it became more and more difficult to keep focus. He had lost track of exactly how long he had been trapped in this tiny prison, but it felt as though he had been here for weeks. Although Dean couldn't really be sure so it easily could have been much shorter than that. There was no light coming into the room so he had no idea if it was day or night or how much time had really passed since he had woken up here. At this point, though, it didn't matter how much time had passed. Dean just needed to get out of here as soon as he could.

"Cas," Dean called out weakly. "Help!"

Just like always, Dean didn't get any response, but that didn't stop him from waiting for it though. He knew that he had to hold out some hope that Cas would find him and get him out of this prison soon. His brother would be able to help, but Cas knew more. He knew that without a doubt, Cas would be able to find him.

Part of Dean wanted to give up, but the other, stronger part was determined to keep fighting. That was the part of him that needed to get back to Cas. He needed to see Cas again.

Dean knew that he wasn't supposed to go out this way, trapped alone in a cold, stone room. It was true that since Dean met Cas, Dean changed the way he saw the rest of his life playing out. In both scenarios, what he used to imagine and what he imagined now, he never pictured this. He always thought that he was going to go down fighting against some monster or spirit, not trapped and left alone to die.

"Cas!" Dean called out, even weaker than before. The pain was starting to get to him. Dean did his best to push the throbbing pain in his wrist, the pounding in his head, and all of the other aches from his mind, but every time he tried, the pain just came back stronger. "Please, Cas! Help!"

Dean listened intently, hoping that maybe this time Cas would come. Unfortunately, there was nothing but silence. If Dean had had all of his strength, he knew that he would be fighting, pounding on the door, and doing anything he could think of to get out of here. The reality was the Dean didn't have the strength in him anymore and he knew that he was going to have to hold out for as long as possible. He needed to save his strength if he wanted to get out of here alive, which was definitely something he wanted. He wanted to go back to Cas and Sam. Back to where he could relax and not be in constant pain. Back to where he wasn't alone and was with the people he cared about.

Dean needed to get out of here now.

"Cas!"


	27. Chapter 27

Raphael paced the floor in front of his brother. Michael looked up at him and said, "You're going to wear a hole in the carpeting."

Raphael stopped pacing and looked at his brother. "Are you absolutely sure that this will work?" Raphael asked warily. Lately, he had been having second thoughts about everything. They had lost Castiel once before and he did not know if they would be able to recover from a second loss. The first lost had sent Michael into a frenzy. While Raphael didn't know what exactly would happen if this didn't go according to plan, he knew that it wouldn't be good.

"It will work." Michael assured him, sounding completely confident. "We've had this conversation before, Raphael."

"I'm aware of that," Raphael replied. "But we can't handle another loss."

"And we won't lose. We won't even get to a point that would even get us close to losing," Michael said confidently. "We have taken more precautions this time. We've taken the Winchester and placed Castiel in a more secure location. There is no way that this will fail."

"I still don't understand why we had to take the Winchester," Raphael commented. When he had placed the orders to take Dean Winchester, he was only following Michael's orders. He had questioned why it was necessary, but he never said anything to Michael. Wouldn't the separation from Castiel kill Dean? Why was it essential to bring Dean to heaven?

"The younger Winchester would see his brother deteriorate and would have tried to do something to find Castiel, most likely because of the elder Winchester's urging. If we separate them, Sam will only focus on finding Dean, not on saving Castiel. Of course, he will not be able to find either."

"But won't the younger Winchester still try to do something?"

"Perhaps, but he won't be successful. We have both Castiel and Dean locked in separate and secure locations in heaven. Sam won't be able to reach heaven and help his brother. Even if, by some miracle, he was able to get one out, the other would still be trapped in heaven. By the time he would have reached the first, it would be too late to save the other. I've been watching Dean, he doesn't have much time left. If Sam wants to save his brother, he needs to act quickly," Michael explained.

"Ok. But what's your plan now?"

"You know the plan," Michael said, staring at Raphael. "Or have you forgotten everything we have been planning for the last several months."

"I am well aware of that plan, Michael. What I am asking is: are you going to talk to Castiel?" Raphael clarified.

"Yes," Michael said after a moment. It was almost as if he hadn't thought about talking to Castiel.

"When?"

"I'll talk to him later," Michael responded. "We'll let him sit for some time. After all, it's his fault that we have to do this. He'll need to get used to the solitary. Shortly, the ritual will be complete and he will be there for the rest of time."

* * *

Cas paced the small cell, still unsure of what exactly had happened. He remembered being in the motel room with Dean, but he could not remember anything after that. He only remembered waking up in this cell.

Despite the gaps in his memory, Cas knew that his brothers were behind this. This small cell was an eerie reminder of the last time his brothers had tried to intervene and keep Cas away from Dean. He had been trapped in a different cell, unable to get to Dean even though he could hear not only Dean's, but also Sam's, prayers. That was the worst torture his brothers could have planned. It was one thing to be away from Dean, but another thing entirely to be able to hear Dean's prayers but unable to go to him.

That hadn't stopped Cas from trying to escape. He had tried everything he could think of, but nothing seemed to work. He had tried everything again, hoping that this cell would be different. Again, nothing worked and he was trapped. He remained trapped in a cell, not know how he got here or why he was here. All Cas knew was that his brothers were behind it.

Cas wanted answers. Why were his brothers doing this? They had tried once and had failed. Why try to put him in the same prison again? Was he going to be stuck in this cell for all eternity?

The last thought thoroughly terrified Castiel. What if he did remain trapped in here for all eternity? Would Dean be ok without him? Cas knew that Dean could not be apart from Cas for very long. Cas, on the other hand, felt no side effects. Castiel knew that it was because of the human bond of soulmates. Cas wasn't human, which would explain why he never felt any side effects. But the thought still sat in Cas's brain? Would Dean be able to survive without him?

More than anything though, Cas wanted to know if Dean was safe. The last time, Michael and Raphael had left Dean on earth and Cas knew that at least Dean had Sam. Right now, he was just as worried as the last time and had no way to know whether Dean was safe or not. Cas hoped that Dean was still on Earth with Sam. Sam would take care of Dean. However, unlike the last time, Cas wasn't able to hear any prayers, so he had no idea if Dean was still with Sam.

Cas didn't understand why he felt the way he did about Dean. He had never felt this close to a human before, or to anything in all of creation for that matter. Why was Dean so special? There were billions of humans on Earth, yet Dean was special. Ever since Cas had pulled Dean from Hell, he had known there was something different. He now understood about the human bond of soulmates. But Cas wasn't a human. He was an angel. That shouldn't be possible.

Yet, somehow, it was possible. Dean needed Cas, just like how any other person needed their soulmate. Cas may not have had the same need to be with Dean, but he still felt something. When Cas was on Earth with Dean, Cas felt different. He couldn't explain it, but it was different. It was almost as if he felt at home on Earth when he was with Dean. When Cas was in heaven with his brothers and sisters, it just didn't feel the same. The last time he had been to heaven, he felt as if he didn't belong. Maybe he didn't belong anymore. Maybe Cas was supposed to be on Earth with Dean.

There were a lot of maybes, but unfortunately, there were no definite answers. Cas would have to sit and wonder and try to make sense of everything that was happening.

* * *

Some time later, Cas became aware of another presence in the cell. As Cas turned around, he immediately recognized the other person.

"Michael," Cas said angrily, staring directly at his brother. He knew that he was here because of his brothers, even if this was the first time he had seen any of his brothers since he was taken from Earth. After all, his brothers had done this before, why should now be any different?

"Castiel," Michael responded curtly. "Fancy meeting you here."

"Why are you doing this?" Cas asked, skipping over any pleasantries. There were two things Cas wanted to know. He was hoping that if Michael told him why, it would give him some indication as to the answer of the second question. Cas wanted desperately to know if Dean was ok, but he was scared of the answer. He knew what his brothers were capable of.

"Oh little brother, isn't it obvious?" Michael teased.

Cas stared at his elder brother. Should it be obvious? He couldn't think of a reason why it should. There was no reason that Cas could think of that would explain why he had been imprisoned in heaven.

"You can't think of anything?" Michael asked in disbelief. "You can't think of one reason why we should keep angels and humans apart? I expected more from you, Castiel."

"Angels and humans interact constantly. You know that," Cas responded. "You've sent orders for angels to go to Earth."

"I am aware of that. I do not approve of it, but I am aware of it."

"You send the orders," Cas pointed out.

"Has it ever occurred to you that I have to follow orders as well?"

Cas stared at Michael. Michael was following God's orders to send angels to Earth. So why did Michael seem so disgusted by that? "So what is this all about then? Stopping angels and humans from interacting? You want to keep the angels in heaven and the humans on earth?"

"Precisely. But it's so much more than that."

"What do you mean? God created us to follow his orders, to help on Earth."

"Think about it, Castiel. Why should we be keeping angels and humans apart? What could happen if angels and humans continued to be together?" Michael questioned.

Suddenly, Cas had the answer. "Nephilims," Cas answered quietly.

"Precisely."

"You're scared of nephilims?" Cas asked, a little louder this time. Why was Michael afraid of offspring of angels and humans? They weren't particularly strong and could easily be overpowered if they had too.

"I'm not scared of nephilims. I'm preparing. You remember what happened before. Back when angels would work through humans and created those abominations," Michael said with a great deal of disgust.

Cas did remember. In fact, Cas remembered that time very clearly. He remembered a time when tens of thousands of nephilims roamed the Earth. He remembered being ordered, along with thousands of other angels, to go to earth and take care of the problem. Unfortunately, Cas remembered all too well what taking care of the problem had entailed.

_Castiel flew quickly toward earth, surrounded by thousands of other angels. They had been given strict orders to eliminate every nephilim from earth. Not one angel had questioned the orders. They were soldiers. They weren't supposed to question. They were only expected to carry out the orders that had been given to them._

_When the angels reached earth, they began their work without a second thought. Splitting into groups, the angels began the extermination of the nephilim race. Prepared with angel blades and the sheer amount of power each angel possessed, each angel began stabbing nephilims. The nephilims were not aware of what was happening, nor were they aware of why it was happening. The nephilim race was killed quickly and soon there were no nephilim left on earth. The humans made up some story about why thousands of people were suddenly killed or went missing. Castiel, along with the other angels, didn't pay any attention to that. They had followed their orders and did what was asked of them._

_Castiel stood in place, looking around at the damage that had been caused. The ground was littered with bodies of unmoving nephilim. It was this moment when the first questioning thought passed through Castiel's mind. Was this right? He had just killed a hundred nephilim only because he had been ordered to. Should he have stopped and let them live? They didn't appear to be dangerous. In fact, they seemed like normal humans. But they weren't normal humans. They had bits of angel grace inside of them. But why did that make them dangerous? Castiel was completely full of angel grace. Did that make him bad or evil?_

_Castiel was unable to dwell on the subject anymore. He was summoned back to heaven and without a second or questioning thought, Castiel returned to heaven to wait for the next order._

"But all of the nephilims were killed," Cas said, pulling himself from his memories. "I was there. I killed hundreds of them. I watched them die."

"Yes, they were all killed. But, what if another nephilim was to be created?" Michael suggested.

Cas's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "You are suggesting that I would create a nephilim?"

"It is a human and an angel. It will happen, especially with your, uh,  _relationship_  with the Winchester."

"No, it won't and leave Dean out of this. I was there. I watched nephilim die. I killed hundreds of them," Cas explained angrily. "I know that those in heaven do not want nephilim and will not hesitate to kill another. What's one more added to the tens of thousands that have already been killed?"

Michael's eyes narrowed. "What happened to you Castiel? You used to be such a good soldier. One who always followed orders and never questioned once."

Back then, though, it was different. Cas never questioned the orders he was given. Instead, he just dutifully followed each and every order he received. That was before he had met Dean and before he had a reason to not follow orders.

Since meeting Dean, Cas had all but given up on following orders. Cas spent more time on Earth with Dean than he did in heaven. He knew that the other angels, especially his powerful brothers, were not pleased with that. For some reason, though, Cas didn't seem to care. It was almost as if meeting Dean had flipped some kind of switch in Cas's brain. Dean had given Cas a reason to go against the orders he had. More importantly, Dean had given Cas a reason to think for himself. It was one thing to go against what he was ordered to do in heaven, but it was something completely different to go against the orders because  _he_ wanted to do it.

Cas wasn't sure when it had all started. He knew that all of this had happened since he met Dean. Before Dean, Cas would never have even thought twice about following the orders set forth by heaven.

"You see," Michael said, bringing Castiel's focus onto him, "this human is changing you, even if you don't realize it. You are an angel. You were created with the purpose to serve heaven. And now? Now you are going to throw it away from some  _human_. But don't worry, in a short time, you won't have to worry about that. Or maybe you will. Either way, you'll have plenty of time to think about it."

"What do you mean I'll have plenty of time to think about it?"

"An eternity spent in this cell should be enough time, don't you think?" Michael chuckled.

Cas's eyes widened. An eternity spent in here? What about Dean? Dean wouldn't survive without Cas there. The physical symptoms of soulmates would surly kill him. "But Dean…" Cas started.

"Don't worry about him," Michael said. "We've taken care of him."

Cas moved toward Michael, fully intent on killing his brother for hurting Dean. However, just as quickly as Michael had appeared in his cell, Michael disappeared. Cas left alone, wondering what would happen.

* * *

Dean sat slumped against the same cold stone wall. He had completely lost track off how long he had been trapped in this tiny room. It felt like he had been here for years, although somehow, he knew that not that much time had passed. By this point, though, all fight had left Dean. He desperately wanted to survive and see Cas again, but the pain was getting to be too much. Dean couldn't find the strength to even stand up. All of his energy was gone.

Despite all of the fight leaving him, Dean still tried to keep conscious. Blinking, Dean tried to focus, but he was unable to actually focus his thoughts. The only thing that he could think about was Cas. Although he couldn't think much more than Cas's name. Dean's brian was fuzzy and no matter how much he tried, he couldn't clear it and think straight.

Dean's eyes started to slip closed, but he caught himself. Something in the back corner of his brain knew that he needed to stay awake. Maybe it was all of the training that his dad had put him through or may it was the hope that Cas would come and Dean knew that he didn't want to miss Cas. Whatever it was told Dean to keep fighting.

His eyes roamed the room. Nothing had changed at all in the time he had been trapped in this tiny prison. No one had come. There was still no light and the walls were as cold as ever. Dean started to realize that it was possible that he was going to die in this room. That had always been Dean's greatest fear: dying alone. Did anyone even know that he was here? Was anyone looking for him? He didn't know, but he just hoped that Cas was coming soon. He absolutely did not want to die alone.

Dean's eyes started to slip closed again. This time, he wasn't strong enough. His eyes slipped closed and his mind was enveloped in darkness.


	28. Chapter 28

_Sam blinked a few times to take in his surroundings. He didn't recognize anything and had no clue where he was. "Gabriel? Where are we?" Sam asked in a hushed tone._

_"Heaven."_

"Heaven?" Sam asked in disbelief. "You brought me to heaven?"

"Yes, now come on," Gabriel said, leading the way down a long, narrow hallway.

Sam hurried quickly after Gabriel, desperate to keep up and find his brother.

"Gabriel?" Sam asked. As they moved through hallway after hallway, one thought constantly pushed its way to the forefront of Sam's mind.

"What?"

"I gotta say that this is definitely not what I expected when you say heaven," Sam responded, hoping that Gabriel would elaborate as to why heaven seemed to look like nothing more than an average office building.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. As he kept leading the way, he explained, "Heaven is huge. This is just one part. When humans die, they each have their own piece of heaven. It's different for each person. But then there are some parts, like here, that aren't for humans."

"So it's literally just an angel workspace?"

"I guess you could say it like that," Gabriel responded, not really elaborating too much more about how heaven was made up.

"So, uh, they have no problem with you just bringing humans into heaven?" Sam asked. He couldn't help but feel that he was completely out of place and that he wasn't supposed to be here. With every step he took, Sam kept looking around, completely paranoid that someone was going to find them. He didn't know what would happen if someone were to find them, or if it would even be bad, but he just had a really bad feeling that it wasn't going to end well if they got caught.

"What they don't know won't hurt them and besides I need back up," Gabriel said simply as they came to a fork in the hallways. He looked down both hallways, before choosing the right one and taking off quickly down it.

"Other angels?" Sam suggested. Angels definitely would have been more powerful than Sam.

"Enough of my brothers are involved in this mess," Gabriel explained quickly. "I don't want to drag anyone else into this."

Sam remained silent at this comment and continued to follow Gabriel through the maze of hallways, wondering how anyone would be able to find their way through this maze. There were no doors or windows, just what appeared to be endless hallways. Part of Sam wondered if Gabriel even knew where he was going. But Sam had to trust him because right now, Gabriel was the only hope he had of finding his brother.

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" Sam asked. He just had to be sure. There was too much on the line right now for this not to work.

"Yes, now zip it," Gabriel whispered as he continued to lead Sam through hallway after hallway.

Sam shut his mouth and followed Gabriel.

As they moved through the halls, Sam could feel his body start to become exhausted. He didn't understand it. He had gotten plenty of sleep the night before Dean went missing, and that had only been just over two days ago. He had worked plenty of jobs where he had gotten less sleep than that. So why was he so tired now? Glancing at his watch, Sam saw that it had barely been thirty minutes since he had left the motel with Gabriel. Sam stifled a yawn and continued to follow Gabriel.

Finally, Gabriel came to a stop, although it didn't look like anywhere important. Sam looked around and still wasn't able to figure out why they had stopped.

"Uh, Gabriel? I thought we were going to get Dean."

"We are, but there's something you need to understand first."

"Can we deal with this later? I need to find my brother. If he and Cas are separated—" Sam started, but Gabriel interrupted.

"Your brother will get sick and have to deal with a bunch of nasty things. I know, that's what I need to talk to you about."

Sam looked confusedly at Gabriel. "What are you talking about?"

"Time passes differently in heaven. A day on Earth is like weeks in heaven," Gabriel explained as he watched the realization spread across Sam's face.

"So, Dean doesn't realize that it's only been two days…" Sam said, trailing off and starting to think about how bad it really was.

"Basically."

"But…" Sam trailed off. "So that means that he hasn't been with Cas for several weeks?"

"I'm guessing they would have kept them separated," Gabriel said.

"But no one's ever been separated from their soulmate for that long."

"Well, congratulations. It looks like our brothers were the first."

"What's going to happen to him?" Sam asked fearfully.

"That," Gabriel said, "I don't know. It's not going to be pretty though."

"Is he… is he going to…"  _going to be alive?_ Sam couldn't even bring himself to finish the question. He didn't even want to think about the possibility of his older brother not being alive. It hurt too much.

"I don't think so, but it's not going to be pretty. I can't really guarantee much of anything."

"You can't guarantee much of anything?! I thought you were an archangel! Shouldn't you know these things?" Sam asked angrily.

"Sam, I don't know. I'm not human and believe it or not, this kind of thing doesn't happen all that often. I can get you to your brother, but I can't give you anything other than that."

"Where is he?" Sam asked, with a new and sudden burst of energy. He knew that he needed to find Dean, and find him quickly.

Gabriel, once again, started to lead Sam through more hallways, though this time he seemed to move at a faster pace. Maybe it was because Sam was nearly stepping on Gabriel's heals and was therefore forcing Gabriel to move faster. Or maybe it was because Gabriel wanted to find Dean as much as Sam did. Gabriel may not have been related to Dean, but Sam remembered Gabriel saying that he was Cas's brother. Maybe Gabriel wanted to help his brother as much as Sam wanted to help his own? Sam honestly didn't know, but at this point, all Sam cared about was getting to his brother as fast as he could. Now that Gabriel had told him that time works differently in heaven, Sam was even more desperate to find his brother.

Eventually, after wandering through seemingly endless hallways and corridors in heaven, Gabriel finally came to a stop at a fork in the hallways. Sam looked around, but didn't see anything besides empty walls, just like he had been seeing since he first got to heaven.

"Gabriel?"

"Shh," Gabriel said, effectively quieting Sam.

Sam watched as Gabriel leaned back against a wall and then slowly peeked around the corner, trying to be as discrete as possible. As soon as Gabriel was abel to get a good look around the corner, he quickly pulled back and leaned against the wall.

Sam looked at Gabriel, confused. Gabriel responded by making some strange hand motions, making Sam even more confused than he already was. Gabriel rolled his eyes and then tried to again sign something to Sam. As Gabriel worked through it slower, Sam understood the basic of idea of what Gabriel was trying to say: there was someone or something guarding Dean. That was something that really should not have surprised Sam. If the archangels were going to take his brother, surely they weren't going to just leave him unattended.

"What do we do?" Sam mouthed to Gabriel, hoping that the archangel had some kind of a plan.

"You stay put," Gabriel mouthed back, using hand motions for an added effect.

Sam didn't understand. Didn't Gabriel bring him here for back up? So why did Gabriel now insist on doing this alone? Sam figured that Gabriel must have had a reason, even if Sam didn't understand it himself. Instead of questioning it, Sam made a mental note to ask Gabriel about it later, presumably once they had Dean and knew that everything was going to be ok.

Sam carefully and quietly walked over to the wall that Gabriel had been leaning on, and tried his best to keep himself hidden. He figured as long as he stayed out of sight, he would be fine and Gabriel would be able to take care of things and then they would be one step closer to finding Dean and bringing him back to Earth.

"Gabriel?" a surprised voice asked. "Why are you here?"

"My brothers should have told you that I was coming," Gabriel answered. Sam stayed exactly where he was, trying to figure out who Gabriel was talking to and why he was talking to them instead of finding Dean.

"Uh, no," the voice said. "I was told to stay here and inform them if anything happened."

"And I suppose me being here is something happening."

"Well, yes," the voice said uncertainly. "I suppose I should." With that the angel disappeared.

"Sam!" Gabriel said urgently.

Sam immediately ran around the corner and came face to face with Gabriel.

"Dean's here," Gabriel quickly informed Sam. "But we don't have much time. That angel just went to get my brothers and they're not going to be happy."

"What? Where?" Sam asked frantically, ignoring everything except that Dean was here. There was nothing around him.

"Heaven has its own ways of protection. Your brother is in one of the most secret cells. Not many angels would have been able to find it," Gabriel explained quickly.

"So how do we get to him?"

"Ok. I'm going to take you to him, but you have to remember that he's going to be completely out of it. I don't even know what he will be like and I don't know if I'll even be able to help him."

"Yeah, yeah. Just get me in there so I can help him," Sam said in frustration. He was losing patience quickly, now that he knew that he was so close to Dean.

"Ok," Gabriel said, placing his hand on Sam's shoulder.

In the blink of an eye, Gabriel transported himself and Sam into a tiny prison cell.

Sam looked around the room quickly as his eyes fell on his unconscious brother, slumped over against a wall. "Dean!"

* * *

The door's to Michael's office burst open and a small angel came running in, clearly running out of breath.

Michael looked up from what he was doing, confused as to why the angel was here.

"Mariel? What is the meaning of this?" Michael asked.

"Gabriel is here. He was by the room you told me to guard," Mariel explained quickly, hoping that Michael wouldn't be too upset with the news. He knew that Michael got easily quickly when things didn't go exactly according to plan. Mariel didn't know what the plan exactly was, but he was assured that it was none of his business.

Michael's eyes widened, clearly furious. Mariel shrunk back, hoping that Michael wouldn't take out his frustrations on him. Michael let out a long, deep, and frustrated breath before he turned to Mariel and said, "Go get Raphael. Bring him to the room."

Michael then quickly left the room, leaving a confused Mariel in his wake. As Michael ran down through the hallways, he tried to figure out how to this happened. Gabriel apparently had not only known that he and Raphael had taken Dean Winchester, but had also been able to figure out where they had taken him. He didn't understand it.

He also didn't understand why Gabriel was trying to help the Winchester brothers. They were just two ordinary humans. There was nothing special or spectacular about these two humans. Why focus his attention on trying to save one of them. Unless… Unless it wasn't helping the humans. What if Gabriel was trying to help Castiel? Michael knew that Gabriel had a soft spot for their youngest brother, but was Gabriel really ready to risk it all for their younger brother? Apparently he was. But why go through all the trouble to save the human? Why didn't he just save Cas and leave? Cas could figure out the human if he was that desperate, right? Michael just accepted that he wouldn't understand and would just have to stop it.

Michael knew that he had to put a stop to Gabriel quickly. He continued rushing as fast as he could to where Dean Winchester was being kept.


	29. Chapter 29

_Sam looked around the room quickly as his eyes fell on his unconscious brother, slumped over against a wall. "Dean!"_

Sam took two steps toward his brother and quickly filled the space between them. Sam grabbed Dean's shoulders and started to gently shake his brother. "Dean! Come on, Dean!" Sam shouted, not caring if all of the angels in heaven heard him. "Dean!"

Hesitantly, Sam moved his shaking fingers down toward Dean's neck, feeling for a pulse. He breathed a small sigh of relief, when he realized that there was a pulse. It wasn't very strong, but at least there was a pulse. That was a start.

"We gotta get him outta here," Sam said hurriedly to Gabriel, not taking his eyes off of his brother. Sam's statement was met with silence.. "He's not going to make it much longer. We gotta go, now."

Again, Sam was met by silence. Looking up, Sam saw that Gabriel wasn't even focused on Dean. "Gabriel!" Sam yelled loudly, trying to get the archangel's attention.

"Yeah, I know," Gabriel said, not even looking at Sam. "You gotta get him out of here. But don't you think it's going to be faster and go smoother if people don't know we're here?"

"Well, yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Just give me one second."

Sam couldn't see what Gabriel was doing, but just had to take Gabriel's word that it would help them get out of here quickly without being seen. Then Sam would really have to start worrying about how he was going to fix this. Not that he wasn't worried right now, but if they didn't get out of here soon, nothing would matter. Even though science didn't know what would happen with long term separation, Sam knew that it wasn't going to be good for Dean. Dean was already unconscious. Sam really didn't think that he would be able to last much longer.

As Gabriel continued to do whatever he was doing, Sam kept trying to shake his brother awake. Deep down, Sam knew that it would be no use. It would take some kind of miracle for Dean to come out of this one, but that didn't stop Sam from trying. He was desperate. Not to mention that he had no idea what he would do when they got back to Earth. Bobby and he would probably have to rush Dean to the Emergency Room and hope that doctors could help him. Although, first they needed to get out of here.

"Gabriel, you almost ready?" Sam asked. "I'm not sure if Dean can make it much longer."

"Ok and ready," Gabriel announced. He quickly closed the distance between himself and the two Winchester brothers. "I'm going to bring you back to where I got you. After that, you're on your own."

"What about you?"

"Don't you think that some angels are going to notice that your brother is missing?"

"I thought you said this room was hidden."

"It is to most angels, but that's not going to stop my brothers from coming after the people who took him. I'll deal with them. You fix your brother."

"But what about Cas?" Sam asked. He knew that he couldn't do much for his brother, but he could hope that if his brother was with Cas again, he could possibly get better.

"I'll come back for him. You fix your brother."

"Ok. Just hurry," Sam said.

Gabriel placed one hand on Sam's shoulder and the his other hand on Dean's. Within another blink of an eye, Sam and Dean were back in the same motel room on Earth.

Bobby, who had clearly been startled, stood up and came to help Sam with Dean. Bobby hadn't even reached Sam and Dean before Gabriel had disappeared again.

"It's not good, Bobby," Sam said worriedly, answering Bobby's question before he could even ask it. Dean was actually back on Earth and now, they had to act fast. Who knew how much longer Dean would make it?

Bobby got a good look at Dean and immediately understood what Sam had meant.

"What in the hell happened to him?"

"The— The angels kept him in this cell or something and I don't know, Bobby. I don't know what to do," Sam admitted. He knew he had to do something. He also knew that if the positions were switched, Dean would know what to do, just like he always did. So why didn't Sam know what to do now?

"Deep breaths, kid. We're gonna get both of you through this," Bobby told Sam calmly, even though he was terrified at the possibility of losing Dean. "Do you know what happened to him up there? He looks like he's been through hell."

"They kept him from Cas."

"He was gone for less than three days. It shouldn't have gotten that bad," Bobby tried to reason.

"Yeah, but time moves differently in heaven," Sam explained quickly. "I don't really understand it, but he was gone for two days on Earth which is like several weeks in heaven. At least that's what Gabriel told me."

"Balls," Bobby muttered. "Ok. We gotta load up your brother and get him to a hospital."

"But what about Cas?"

"Boy, if we don't get your brother to a hospital soon, it ain't gonna matter if Cas is back."

"Yeah, um, I'll just leave a note or something. Have Gabriel bring Cas to the hospital," Sam said, speaking his thoughts out loud. Quickly, he found a scrap of paper and a pen and hastily scribbled a note for whichever angel came back. If Sam wasn't so worried about his brother, he probably would have laughed at how ridiculous it was to leave a note for an angel.

"Ok. Let's go," Sam said, going back over to Bobby and helping him to carefully carry Dean out of the motel room and out to the parking lot. As soon as they got Dean loaded up, Bobby turned key and pulled the car out of the parking lot with squealing tires.

* * *

Gabriel left the motel room and instantly transported himself back to heaven. This time was different. There was no back up, but he figured that he would be fine. He needed Sam to get Dean out of here, but Sam would have been no help with Cas. Gabriel knew that his brothers would have put as much security in place as they could in the hopes of preventing their brother from escaping.

Without Sam along, Gabriel was moving more quickly through the never ending hallways and corridors that made up heaven. He had to get to the most secure cells in order to have any hope of finding his brother. There had been more protection placed on Dean's cell than Gabriel initially thought, so he was a little nervous to see what was going to be waiting for him when he finally reached where his younger brother was being held.

As Gabriel trekked on through the endless hallways and corridors of heaven, he couldn't help but be furious with his older brothers. He tried to push it out of his mind and just focus on getting to Cas before it was too late. There was no telling what Michael and Raphael would have done to Cas after kidnapping him and bring him to heaven as a captive. Gabriel knew what his brothers were capable of, and that thought alone terrified him. Still, Gabriel trekked on.

He made his way deeper and deeper into heaven, still finding no trace of his brother. He had a pretty good idea that as to where Michael and Raphael would have taken Cas, but he wouldn't know for sure until he got there.

Some time later, Gabriel wasn't really sure how long, he came to a stop. Something felt different here. Could his brother be here? It was plausible but it didn't really make much sense. These weren't the most secure cells in heaven. Wouldn't they have brought Cas there so he would have absolutely no chance of escaping? That would make the most sense, at least, that's what Gabriel thought.

Gabriel took a few steps forward and rounded a corner. There, in front of a blank wall, stood two angels. There was no chance for Gabriel to go back and try and sneak in. The shorter of the two angels had already seen him. "Gabriel?" the shorter angel asked in disbelief, just as Mariel had. The taller angel looked turned and looked, no doubt assuming that he had heard his partner wrong. When the taller angel saw Gabriel, his eyes widened in shock and disbelief.

"Adonai," Gabriel responded, greeting the shorter angel. He turned to the taller angel and greeted him as well. "Haldon."

"Why are you here, Gabriel?" Adonai asked.

"I could ask you the same thing," Gabriel retorted.

"I can't discuss that with you and neither can she," Haldon said, interrupting any conversation Adonai and Gabriel were going to have.

"Let me guess. My two brothers put you up to this. To stand here and protect something?"

Adonai looked a bit guilty and Gabriel immediately knew that this was the case. For whatever reason, Michael and Raphael decided not to keep Cas in the most secure parts of heaven. Maybe that was there plan, to throw people like Gabriel off their trail. Well, it had almost worked.

"So that is what's happening," Gabriel said, smirking slightly and trying to play it completely cool even though he was worried about what was happening to his younger brother as he stood there.

"No. We won't tell you anything," Haldon said.

"Won't or can't?" Gabriel asked. Did my brothers even tell you why you're standing here? Did they give you any reason at all? Or did you just follow them completely blindly and do as you were told?"

"So what if we did what they asked because that is what we are supposed to do?" Adonai asked.

"No reason. It's just…" Gabriel said trailing off.

"It's just what?" Adonai asked, clearly slightly curious as to what Gabriel was going to say.

"Nothing. You know, I guess you'll find out soon enough. Word has it that Michael and Raphael are both on their way over here. Turns out they aren't too pleased with how things are running around here," Gabriel said, hoping that they would buy his bluff.

Adonai cast a worried glance to Haldon. Haldon, unlike his partner, did not appear to flinch. Gabriel noticed this and decided he had to change this. He had to get Haldon to be worried enough to flee. Adonai was almost to that point, but Haldon was not even close.

"Hm," Gabriel said. "Seems as if you're feeling particularly brave today."

"We have nothing to fear," Haldon said confidently.

"Really?" Gabriel asked. "You're really not even slightly worried that my brothers are on their way over here right now? You know Michael's got a nasty temper, don't you? Wow, it's bad. Wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that."

Adonai started to falter even more and began to look like she was going to flee at any second. Haldon faltered slightly, but remained firm. "Your mind games will not work with me Gabriel."

"Fine," Gabriel said. "Suit yourselves." He turn this backs to the two angels and walked away.

"Do you think he was serious?" Gabriel heard Adonai ask Haldon.

"I don't know," Haldon replied.

Knowing he had to take it one step farther, Gabriel decided to put his time spent as the trickster to good use. Out of nowhere, the sounds of Michael and Raphael quickly moving to the cell where Dean was presumably being kept were able to be heard.

"They're coming!" Adonai said fearfully, before taking off running in the opposite direction. Clearly she was afraid of Michael's temper. Haldon waited for one more moment before taking off after Adonai.

When both angels were clearly out of the way, Gabriel snapped his fingers and the sounds vanished. Standing in complete silence, he took one moment to list to make sure that no one else was coming. Satisfied that he was alone in this corridor, Gabriel set to work breaking the protections his brothers had placed around the cell. It was tedious, but he was able to make it through. He was one step closer to his brother.

Gabriel entered the cell and immediately came face to face with Castiel, whose eyes widened upon seeing his brother.

* * *

Michael came to a halt in front of the cell where he and his brother were holding Dean Winchester. Upon entering it, he found it completely empty. There was no sign that anyone had been here, which was definitely worrisome. Gabriel was moving quickly. He had already taken Dean and was no doubt moving quickly to find where they were holding Castiel.

Shortly after Michael had arrived at the small prison, Raphael came running in, sliding slightly to a stop. "What happened?"

"It seems that our brother decided to intervene," Michael said simply.

"Gabriel?" Raphael asked in disbelief. Neither he, nor Michael, had seen Gabriel in years. Gabriel had been avoiding heaven because of all the fighting, but now he apparently was back.

"Yes."

It was then that Raphael got a good look around the cell and noticed that Dean was gone. "Where did the Winchester go?"

"Like I said, our brother is intervening on Castiel's behalf."

"He was able to get in here and get the Winchester out? But how?" Raphael asked.

"I don't know, but we need to move quickly. He's no doubt already moved on to help Castiel escape," Michael said as he moved past Raphael and out of the prison cell. Once in the hallway again, Michael took off running, with Raphael following close behind.

When the arrived at the cell where they were keeping Castiel, they found the hallway empty.

"What happened to Adonai and Haldon?" Raphael asked.

"Gabriel must have done something and gotten rid of them," Michael said, quickly examining the area for anything else unusual.

"But Adonai and Haldon were supposed to be the best, how would he have gotten past them?"

"We can discuss that later. Now, there are more important issues at hand." Michael finished examining the area, finding nothing out of the ordinary except that Adonai and Haldon were gone.

Michael entered the cell first with Raphael not far behind. As the two archangels entered the cell, they saw both of their brothers. Gabriel had his back to the entrance of the tiny prison, but Castiel saw both of them enter and immediately stiffened, looking hard at his two older brothers. Gabriel must have seen the look on Castiel's face because he turned around to see what had happened.

"Hello, brother," Michael said sinisterly.


	30. Chapter 30

_Michael entered the cell first with Raphael not far behind. As the two archangels entered the cell, they saw both of their brothers. Gabriel had his back to the entrance of the tiny prison, but Castiel saw both of them enter and immediately stiffened, looking hard at his two older brothers. Gabriel must have seen the look on Castiel's face because he turned around to see what had happened._

_"Hello, brother," Michael said sinisterly._

Gabriel spun around at the sound of Michael's voice, knowing that in the coming moments something major was going to happen. Either he was going to be able to permanently put a stop to Michael and Raphael or he was going to die trying and Michael and Raphael would eventually get their way. Well, more specifically Michael would get his way because Gabriel knew that Michael was the true mastermind behind all of this. Raphael was probably just following blindly along, even though he probably did agree with what Michael was doing.

"Hey guys," Gabriel said, almost too cheerfully. "Cas and I were just talking about you."

Cas shot a look over to Gabriel which clearly said  _No we definitely were not just talking about them._  Gabriel ignored Cas, instead choosing to focus his attention on his older brothers.

"What are you doing, Gabriel?" Michael asked, deciding to go straight to the point.

"I could ask you the same question. You're locking up Cas and for what?"

"For his own good. For our own good," Michael stated seriously.

"How is this for his own good? Locking him in some cell in heaven? Having two of your minions stand watch over him and for what? What could you possibly be so worried about that you have to lock up your own brother?"

"You know why," Michael said, staring hard at Gabriel.

"What? Nephilims?" Gabriel asked in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me."

"He's not kidding. Nephilim pose a significant threat to the angel population in heaven."

"What?" Gabriel asked. Their argument was just getting more and more ridiculous the more they tried to explain their reasoning. "Nephilim aren't a threat."

"Maybe you don't perceive them as a threat because you ignore your duties in heaven," Michael suggested. "Have you ever considered that?"

"I know what goes on even if I'm not here. I know all about what happened last time. How you killed thousands of nephilims? And for what?"

"To protect the angel race."

"The angel race didn't need protecting!" Gabriel retorted. "They were just fine. You just didn't like the idea of people who weren't fully angel having angelic properties and you got scared."

Michael started coldly at Gabriel, daring him to continue.

"You got scared because our Father always liked humans and now here were creatures that possessed both human and angelic properties. You got scared and ordered the massacre of the nephilim race. You may have fooled everyone else, but I know that the orders didn't come from Dad. They came from you because you were scared."

Michael swiftly reached into his pocket, pulled out his blade and lunged forward. Gabriel, who knew exactly what those words would do to his brother, quickly dodged out of the way and avoided the blade.

"Easy there," Gabriel warned. Michael glared at Gabriel in return.

"Why don't you watch what you say?" Michael asked raising the blade again.

"Why? It's the truth isn't it? Didn't Dad always put an emphasis on the truth or is his little obedient soldier finally deciding not to follow His orders?"

"I did what he wanted!" Michael shouted, lunging toward Gabriel again and missing. "I always did what he wanted! And what about you? You wandered off! You left him!"

Michael continued to try and stab Gabriel with his blade, but Gabriel was too quick. Every time Michael got close to him, Gabriel managed to get away. "Raphael!" Michael finally called, signally for his brother to come and help him.

Raphael reached into his coat and pulled out his own angel blade and lunged toward Gabriel.

With both of his brothers distracted, Castiel took the opportunity to escape from the room, just like he and his brother had planned.

_"Gabriel?" Castiel asked in surprise. "What are you doing here?"_

_"Look, I don't have much time. Michael and Raphael are probably already on their way. If they show up before we can get out of here, I'll distract them and you get out of here and run. They'll probably be too angry with me to take any of their normal precautions, so you should be able to escape."_

_"But what about you?"_

_"I'll take care of them, you need to get out of here and get back to Earth and get to Dean. I brought him back to the motel."_

_"What?"_

_"Look, we need to get out of here now," Gabriel said urgently, cutting off his brother._

_Before Cas or Gabriel could say anything, Michael and Raphael entered the small prison cell._

Gabriel continued to do his best to dodge the Raphael and Michael's attempts to stab him, as he pulled out his own blade. He'd rather not kill his brothers, but if that was what it was going to take to save his little brother's life, he would have to do it. There was no doubt that if Gabriel didn't survive this and at least one of his older brothers did, the would kidnap Castiel and Dean again.

"Ok. You've made your point." Gabriel yelled, slightly out of breath. "Let's talk about this!"

"What's there to talk about? You're in the way and you need to get out," Michael said, lunging toward him again.

Gabriel screamed loudly as the blade cut through his upper arm. He dropped his blade as pain shot through his arm. Little whisps of blue escaped from his arm as he fell to the floor.

Just as Raphael dived toward Gabriel and stab him one final time so that all of this would finally be over, Raphael felt blinding pain in his back and dropped his blade in shock. Before he was able to turn around and see his attacker, Raphael fell to the ground in a heap, completely unmoving.

Michael, after seeing his brother drop dead to the ground, was temporarily distracted. He turned to see his brother's attacker. "Nemamiah?" Michael asked in surprise and disgust.

With Michael distracted, Gabriel was able to find the strength to rise to his feet and restrain Michael. "It's over," Gabriel said into Michael's ear.

Nemamiah stepped forward and took the blade from Michael and discarded it on the floor. He then stepped behind Gabriel and placed his hand on Gabriel's shoulder, just above his injured arm. In an instant, the tiny blue whisps disappeared and the wound was completely healed.

"Thanks," Gabriel breathed out with a sigh. It was over.

"Thank Castiel. I was going to see Oriash and I passed Castiel. He told me to come here and help you," Nemamiah responded. "Can I ask, though, what happened?"

"It's none of your concern," Gabriel grunted, trying to adjust his hold on Michael as Michael struggled to get free. "Can you hand me my blade?"

Silently, Nemamiah moved the short distance across the cell and picked up Gabriel's blade. As soon as he handed it to Gabriel, he watched as Gabriel quickly moved the blade up and held it against Michael's neck. "Leave, Nemamiah," Gabriel instructed. The angel did exactly as he was told.

"Come on," Gabriel said, pushing Michael forward out of the cell and down the hallway. "And try anything? I'll stab you."

"You wouldn't," Michael challenged.

Gabriel slightly pushed the blade into Michael's neck, causing tiny whisps of blue to float up and out of Michael's neck. "Try me."

Michael remained silent as he allowed himself to be pushed forward by Gabriel through more of the endless hallways of heaven.

After quite some time, Michael realized where his brother was leading him. "You are not going to bring me there and imprison me there?"

"Where?"

"Where all of the exiled angels are kept."

"Nothing gets passed you," Gabriel taunted, continuing to push Michael forward.

"You can't take me there. I don't deserve to be there!"

"Really?" Gabriel asked.

"I was doing what was best for the angels."

"You weren't doing what was best for the angels, you were doing what was best for you. You didn't care about the other angels. You never did. All you ever cared about was yourself and pleasing Dad."

"That's not true."

"It is and you know it. Now be quiet."

"No! You can't bring me there!" Michael said, hints of fear creeping into his voice.

"You've sent numerous angels there before, Gadreel, Daphiel, Rabdos. What was so different about them?"

"They deserved to go there for what they did!"

"Maybe, but so do you," Gabriel said, pushing open the doors to the most secure cells in heaven. The angels kept here were here for eternity. There was no chance of escaping here, once any angel was locked here. Not even an archangel would be able to escape.

Michael was pushed to the end of the hallway and into the farthest cell. "No! Gabriel! You can't do this! Gabriel!" Michael yelled as Gabriel quickly shut and locked the cell door.

He quickly exited the prison and made his way through heaven so he would be able to get back to Earth.


	31. Chapter 31

Sam nervously paced the floor just outside of the doors to the Emergency Room.

"Look, I get you're worried about your brother, but wearing a hole through the floor isn't going to do anyone much good," Bobby commented.

"I can't help it, Bobby," Sam said, continuing to pace and showing no signs of stopping. "I mean we got no clue what's going to happen to him. How am I supposed to sit still?"

"I'm not saying that you aren't worried about your brother, I'm saying don't wear a hole through the floor."

"God, what's taking so long?!" Sam growled, glancing at his watch.

"It's gonna take time. No one's ever gone through this before."

"No one's ever done a lot of things Dean's done: going to Hell and back, not having a soulmate…" Sam trailed off. "Bobby, there's nothing on his wrist." What were the doctors going to do when they saw that Dean didn't have a name on his wrist? Sam remembered watching Dean have to go through all of the questions while they were growing up and remembered how fascinated people seemed to be, especially doctors.

"Balls," Bobby muttered. "We'll just have to figure something out."

"Well, I hope you got some ideas cause I'm pretty sure that the doctors are going to notice that something is up when they see that Dean doesn't have a name on his wrist," Sam retorted irritably. Everything that had happened in the past few days was weighing on his mind, Dean's kidnapping and Dean almost dying, being the most prominent ones. Then on top of all of this, they somehow had to figure out a reason as to why Dean didn't have a name on his wrist, but was clearly exhibiting symptoms of someone who had been away from their soulmate for too long.

"What did you daddy tell doctors?"

"Dean almost always had something written on his wrist," Sam explained. "I remember growing up, Dean was always writing in Sharpie."

"Yeah, I remember that too," Bobby thought, thinking back to the many times Dean and Sam had stayed with him. There had been several mornings where Bobby had come down to the kitchen only to find Dean scribbling on his wrist with Sharpie.

"There was one time…" Sam said, trailing off and thinking about a time when he and Dean had been kids.

"There was one time what?" Bobby prompted. That seemed to be enough to get Sam out of his memories.

"There was one time Dean didn't have anything on his wrist. Dean and Dad were hunting a werewolf with Dad only the thing got a jump on Dean and he got hurt pretty bad," Sam explained softly. "Dad got the werewolf, but Dean was hurt really bad. He grabbed Dean and took him to the hospital. That was before Dean wrote a name on his wrist everyday."

"I'm guessing that the doctors were curious."

"Oh yeah. I didn't go on the hunt, but Pastor Jim brought me over to the hospital once Dad called and told him what happened. They wouldn't even let me in to see him. The doctors just wanted to keep running tests to figure out why he didn't have a name." Sam remembered that being one of the worst moments in his life. He was six years old and wanted his brother, but the doctors wouldn't let him see him. He was scared and was in an unfamiliar place. Dean always made everything better, but no one would bring him to Dean or even tell him how Dean was doing. "Anyway, Dad ended up sneaking Dean out of the hospital. Pretty much told Dean to write something on his wrist from then on so we wouldn't have to go through that again."

"But Dean stopped doing it now?"

"Yeah, I don't know why, but he stopped doing it years ago. Guess he stopped caring or something."

"Yeah, maybe, but that doesn't help us at all."

"I know, but that's all I got."

"Let me deal with the doctor then, I'll figure something out."

"You sure, Bobby? I'm sure I could come up with something," Sam offered.

"No, you couldn't," Bobby said bluntly and truthfully. "You're too worried about your brother to even think straight and now you think you're going to be able to lie to his doctor?"

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "I guess you're right. Thanks, Bobby."

"You can thank me when all of this is over and you boys stop trying to give me heart attacks."

If the situation wasn't so stressed right now, Sam probably would have laughed at Bobby's comment. But there was so much uncertainty with what was going to happen with Dean, that nothing Bobby said was going to make Sam feel any better.

* * *

Several hours later, the doors to the emergency room finally opened and a doctor came out. "Dean Smith?" he asked.

Sam immediately jumped out of his seat (Bobby had finally got him to sit down) and went up to the doctor, with Bobby following close behind. "Yeah, that's my brother. How is he?" Sam asked, his voice laced with worry and concern.

"First, allow me to introduce myself," the doctor said. "I'm Dr. Carroll and I have been attending to your brother since he was brought in. I understand you were the ones who brought Mr. Smith in?"

"Yeah. I'm his brother, Sam," Sam said, introducing himself, wishing Dr. Carroll would just skip over any pleasantries and tell him what was going on with his brother.

"Bobby. The boys' uncle."

"I'm not going to lie. There seems to be a lot of underlying issues here. Several of his organs have started shutting down, which is obviously the biggest concern."

"But… Does that mean… Is he…"  _going to die._  Sam couldn't bring himself to actually voice his thoughts.

"At this point, I'm really not sure. We're still trying to find an underlying cause for all of this. He seems to be experiencing all of the symptoms of being apart from his soulmate." Bobby and Sam shot a quick glance at each other at this statement. This would have meant that the doctor had noticed the absence of a name of Dean's wrist. "Would either of you know anything about that? It's concerning because we examined his wrist, but he doesn't seem to have a name on either wrist."

"Kid busted up his wrist really bad when he was little," Bobby supplied immediately, making up some kind of excuse on the spot. "Lots of surgeries later left him with a mess of scars."

"So can I assume that he had some kind of cosmetic surgery?"

"Yeah. Couldn't even read the name anymore, the wrist was so messed up," Bobby said, absolutely ecstatic that Dr. Carroll bought this story. Sam couldn't believe it either. Dr. Carroll had actually bought it.

"I see," Dr. Carroll responded. "But about the clear and obvious signs of soulmate separation. Do either of you know about that? This is the worst case I've ever seen. It's probably the worst case that's ever been documented."

Bobby and Sam both shook their heads. How were they supposed to explain to this doctor that Dean's soulmate was a literal angel from heaven? Not to mention, neither of them had any way of knowing whether or not Cas would even come back to Earth.

"Well, if you have anyway of contacting his soulmate, I suggest you do. There's not much else we can do for him. We can try, but without his soulmate, chances of survival are going to greatly diminish."

Sam's stomach dropped at Dr. Carroll's words. "Greatly diminish?"

"Unfortunately, there's not much we can do. Modern medicine hasn't advanced far enough for us to intervene with natural soulmate processes," Dr. Carroll explained. "So like I said, if you have a way of contacting Dean's soulmate, I highly suggest you do it quickly, although I can't imagine that his soulmate is doing much better than he is right now."

 _If you only knew_ , Sam thought. He imagined that Bobby was probably thinking something along the same lines as he was.

"Can we see him?" Sam asked, after a brief moment of collecting his thoughts.

"Dean's in the Intensive Care Unit and we typically only allow one visitor at a time, but given the circumstances, we've decided to make an exception. Follow me," Dr. Carroll said, turning and around and leading the way back through the doors.

Sam and Bobby were both worried about Dean's condition even more now. How bad was it that the hospital was willing to make some exceptions before they even asked? They were used to having to fight against hospital staffs for everything, but this one seemed to just give them what they wanted without them asking. As they walked, both men, especially Sam, tried to keep themselves levelheaded.

Dr. Carroll led Sam and Bobby to an isolated room at the end of a very long hallway. Before they went in, Dr. Carroll paused outside of the room. "I do want to warn you, Dean is not doing well."

"We know," Sam said softly. That was something he knew all too well.

"I just want you to be prepared."

Sam just nodded before stepping around the doctor. His stomach dropped as he walked into the room. He had seen Dean in hospitals plenty of times before, but it was nothing like this.

Dean was hooked up to more machines than Sam could count. There were wires, tubes, and monitors attached to nearly every inch of Dean's body. In the rational part of Sam's brain, he knew that all of this was necessary to know that Dean was going to survive all of this. In the non rational part of Sam's brain, he was panicking. Dr. Carroll wasn't kidding was said that Dean was in bad shape. Sam already knew that. Now, though, he saw everything that doctors and nurses had deemed necessary for Dean to actually survive, and frankly, it was a lot to take in.

Sam didn't even notice that Dr. Carroll had come in until he said, "I'll give you some time. Please press the call button if you need anything."

As soon as Dr. Carroll left, Sam mumbled, "Shit, Bobby."

"I know, kid," Bobby replied, placing a hand on Sam's shoulder. Sam didn't know if that hand was supposed to comfort him or if Bobby had simply put it there to steady himself and keep himself calm. "But your brother is a fighter. He's made it this long. He's going to pull through this one, too."

"But what if he doesn't, Bobby? I can't lose him again. I just can't."

"He's going to pull through this. Just you wait," Bobby said, confidently. "He's going to get through this. We all are."

* * *

After inconspicuously leaving the cell where he was held captive for some time (Cas wasn't really sure how much time had passed exactly), Cas ran down the hallway away from the cell as fast as he could. He rounded corner after corner, sprinting through the maze of hallways and corridors that made up this part of heaven. As he moved through the hallways, he knew he needed to get to Dean.

He didn't know how long his brothers had kept him in that cell, but he knew that any time away from Dean was not good for him. Cas was fine if they were apart, granted he would much rather be on Earth with Dean, but Dean always suffered. The not knowing was killing him. However, Castiel had to find someone to go and help Gabriel. If he didn't, there was no way that Gabriel was going to beat Michael and Raphael.

Cas continued to move through the hallways, getting more annoyed every time he turned a corner and found it empty. Surely, there had to be angels somewhere.

Finally, he turned a corner and came face to face with an angel named Nemamiah. "Nemamiah!" Cas said, slightly out of breath after running through the hallways.

"Castiel?" Nemamiah asked in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"That's not important. I need you to do something. I need you to go by the secure cells," Cas said, giving Nemamiah directions to the cell where he was kept. "Gabriel is there, but he needs help. If you pass anyone on your way, get them to help."

"Yes, of course," Nemamiah responded, trying to wrap his head around what Cas had just told him. "But, why?"

"I don't have time. I just need to know that you will go and help him," Cas said urgently. Time was wasting away and every second spent here was more time that Dean was away from him.

"Of course," Nemamiah said, "but—"

Before Nemamiah could finish his sentence, Cas had vanished, leaving Nemamiah standing alone in the corridor.

When Castiel's feet touched down on Earth, he was in what appeared to be an abandoned motel room. There was clear evidence of people being here only hours before, but it looked like everyone who had been in this room had got up and left rather quickly.

Cas walked over to the table, hoping to get an indication he had at least found the right room. This was the place where Gabriel had said he brought Dean back to. Approaching the table, Cas found note, written in Sam's handwriting.

_Cas,_

_Had to bring Dean to hospital. If you're reading this, hurry!_

Cas didn't think twice. He immediately teleported himself to the local hospital. Instead of asking for help, he decided it was be quicker to search the hospital himself until he found Dean. It didn't take long, and soon, Cas was standing in the doorway of Dean's hospital room.

Cas's eyes widened as he took in Dean's form laying on the bed. He looked so ill. Cas was lost in his own thoughts and didn't notice anyone else in the room until he heard a very surprised voice say "Cas!"


	32. Chapter 32

_Cas's eyes widened as he took in Dean's form laying on the bed. He looked so ill. Cas was lost in his own thoughts and didn't notice anyone else in the room until he heard a very surprised voice say "Cas!"_

Cas turned toward the sound. "Sam. Bobby," Cas said, greeting the two of them quirky before returning his attention to Dean.

Sam got up off of the chair he had been sitting in for the past several hours and walked over to Cas. He put his arms around the angel and pulled him in for a hug. "It's good to see you, man. I—We thought you were gone."

"I thought I was to," Cas admitted.

"So you gonna be able to fix him?" Bobby asked as he also stood up.

"I don't know, but I'll try." Cas walked over to the bed and placed his hand on Dean's forehead. The feeling was unfamiliar. He could feel his grace working to fix everything was wrong with Dean, but it wasn't actually working.

"Cas? What is it?" Sam asked as he noticed the look of confusion that was spread across Cas's face.

"I— I can't seem to heal him," Cas admitted in a defeated tone. He removed his hand from Dean's forehead and lazily placed it on his shoulder as realization set in.  _He couldn't heal Dean_. What was he going to do. As his grace worked its way through Dean, he could tell exactly what was wrong, but he was unable to fix it.

"What do you mean you can't heal him?" Sam asked. If Cas couldn't heal Dean, what did that mean for his brother? How badly injured was he?

"I don't know," Cas said quietly.

"But you're an angel!" Sam exclaimed.

"I don't know, Sam," Cas snapped, letting his anger get the better of him.

Sam stepped back, his eyes wide at Cas's sudden outburst. He hadn't meant to set Cas off. That was the last thing he needed.

Bobby could feel the tension in the room. All three of them were worried about Dean and now their best shot at healing him couldn't do anything. "It's ok, Cas," Bobby said, speaking up and breaking the awkward and tense silence that had fallen over the room. "We'll figure out something."

"I just don't understand. I know what's wrong, but I can't heal him. It's as if my grace can't get near him."

"You think your angel buddies did something to him?"

"Wait— the angels had him?" Cas asked. Gabriel had just mentioned that he had brought Dean back to the motel room. He had mentioned nothing about Michael and Raphael taking Dean. Cas felt the anger boil up inside of him at the thought of Michael and Raphael taking Dean and holding him in heaven.

"Yeah," Bobby said. "Had him there for about two days, til Gabriel took Sam up to heaven with him."

"Sam was in heaven?" Cas asked in disbelief. What had he missed during his imprisonment in heaven?

Bobby and Sam slowly explained the everything that had happened over the past three days to Cas, all while being patient and answering Cas's questions to the best of their knowledge.

When they were finished, Cas couldn't believe what he had heard. "I can't believe it," Cas said in utter disbelief.

"Yeah, well Dean's living proof that it happened," Sam retorted. "So you think your angel buddies did something?"

"They are not my buddies," Cas said immediately, slightly irritated by the fact that Sam had referred to Michael and Raphael as his buddies. They were the farthest things from friends. "I don't think they did anything. I would have felt something."

"You would have felt something?"

"Yes. When I attempted to heal your brother, I would have felt something if Michael and Raphael would have done anything. Apart from his normal symptoms, there is nothing else wrong with him," Cas said, looking toward Dean again. He knew what was wrong with Dean, but he still couldn't do anything to fix it. Why?

Sam noticed that something was up with Cas. He wasn't talking, but he kept staring at Dean, almost as if he kept staring at him, Dean would get better. For now, Cas decided to leave it. They had just been apart for who knows how long due to the time difference between heaven and Earth. They deserved to have at least some time of peace before Cas was heavily questioned again.

Sam took his place at the chair beside Dean's bed, while Cas remained standing on the other side of Dean. His hand was still on Dean's shoulder. Bobby sat in a chair at the end of the bed. The two men and angel remained silent as none of them knew what to say.

Some time passed, no one knew how much time since no one was paying attention to clocks. Everyone was too focused on Dean who didn't look any better even though Cas was now back and had no intentions of leaving Dean's side.

Dr. Carroll entered the room, surprised to see another man standing in the area around Dean's bed. "Excuse me?" Dr. Carroll said. Three heads turned toward him, all wearing expressions of surprise. Clearly, they had not heard him enter the room.

"Hi, Doc," Sam greeted somberly. Dean hadn't made any progress and he was slightly afraid of what Dr. Carroll was going to say when he found no change in Dean, even with the presence of a soulmate.  _Wait!_ Sam thought.  _How were they going to explain that Cas was Dean's soulmate?_ Dr. Carroll expected Dean's soulmate to be in as bad of shape as Dean, but Cas had no symptoms whatsoever. He looked completely normal.

"I don't believe we've met," Dr. Carroll said, extending a hand toward Cas. "I'm Dr. Carroll, Dean's doctor."

Cas stared hard at Dr. Carroll, but held out his own hand and shook Dr. Carroll's hand. "Castiel."

"A very unique name," Dr. Carroll commented. "May I ask who you are."

"I'm Dean's—" Cas started to say.

"He's our cousin," Sam said, interrupting Cas. Dr. Carroll couldn't know that Cas was an angel. If Cas told Dr. Carroll that he was Dean's soulmate, Dr. Carroll would have immediately been suspicious. Anyone would have if they really looked at what was happening.

Cas glanced at Sam, not understanding why Sam was lying about his and Dean's relationship. Sam didn't meet his eyes, but after a brief moment, Cas said, "We're cousins."

Dr. Carroll looked back and forth between the men in the room, clearly suspicious as to what was really going on. However, he didn't question it much. "Well, I'm sure you've already been filled in on what's been happening. I just wanted to stop by and see if there is any change in Dean."

Sam and Bobby immediately stepped out of the way to give Dean some room. He motioned for Cas to do the same, but Cas either didn't see him or chose to deliberately to ignore him. Thankfully, Dr. Carroll didn't comment on it.

When he finished examining Dean, Dr. Carroll took a few steps away from Dean's bed and faced Sam, Bobby, and Cas.

"Well? How is he?" Sam finally asked, breaking the tense silence in the room.

"He hasn't gotten any worse," Dr. Carroll responded.

"I feel like there's a but coming," Bobby commented.

Dr. Carroll sighed. "He hasn't gotten any worse, but he also hasn't improved. It's definitely not what we want, but he hasn't gotten any worse is something to be happy about."

Sam let out a huge sigh. Cas was back and hadn't left Dean's side. In fact, Sam was pretty sure that Cas's hand hadn't left Dean's shoulder since he first placed it there nearly three hours ago. But Dean wasn't getting better? Why not? Everything that they had ever been taught said that as soon as they were put back in contact with their soulmate, everything should be fine. So why wasn't Dean getting better? Even if he wasn't perfectly healed yet, shouldn't he at least be making some progress?

"So what now? We just keep waiting?" Sam asked.

"Unfortunately, that's all we can do right now. Right now we can be a little optimistic because he isn't getting any worse," Dr. Carroll explained. Sam knew that he was trying to be optimistic that everything was going to be okay since there was really no way of knowing what was going to happen. However, Dr. Carroll understood how unlikely it was for Dean to actually make a full recovery if Dean's soulmate didn't show up.

"Ok," Sam sighed. He hated waiting. He had already spent more than enough time in his life waiting for Dean in hospitals, but there was really nothing he could do. Cas was here and he had all of the help the doctors could offer him, so Sam didn't really have a choice. He had to wait here with Dean.

"Like I said earlier, if you have a way of contacting his soulmate, I would recommend contacting them," Dr. Carroll said.

Sam shot Cas a look that said 'Don't say anything'. Cas must have understood because he didn't say anything.

"Do any of you have any questions?"

Sam just shook his head. He knew that Dr. Carroll was doing all he could and right now, all they would have to do is wait and hope for some kind of miracle.

When neither Cas nor Bobby said anything, Dr. Carroll told them that he would be back later to check up on Dean and see if there had been any change.

As soon Dr. Carroll was out of the room and clearly out of earshot, Sam said, "Now what? Cas is here and Dr. Carroll said that he's not getting better."

"No, he said that Dean's not getting worse. Those are two different things," Bobby retorted. "And frankly, we got the better one of the two."

"But what are we supposed to do?"

"Like the doctor says, we just gotta wait it out," Bobby said calmly.

"How can you say that?!" Sam exploded, standing up an throwing his hands in exasperation. "Dean is dying! Cas is here and he's still dying. He's not getting better even though everything says that he should be!"

"We don't know what's going on," Bobby explained. He, unlike Sam, was handling everything much better. "No one's ever made it this long before and as far as I know, no one's ever had an angel for a soulmate before. So we're gonna just have to wait and see what happens. You may not like it, but it's all we got."

"That's not good enough!"

"Well, it's gonna have to be," Bobby retorted. He finally stood up and got face to face with Sam. "There ain't nothing you can do about it, so sit down and shut up."

"But that's not going to help Dean."

"Yeah, and what are you going to do that's gonna help him? You gonna go out there and find a crossroads and make a deal? How do you think your brother's gonna react to that? Besides, you don't even know if that's going to be able to help you. We got Cas here and he can't do anything." Cas, who had been glancing back and forth between Sam and Bobby and Dean, focused solely on Dean, feeling guilty that there was nothing he could do to help him. "What makes you think a demon's going to be able to do anything? There ain't nothing that any of us can do and I suggest that you just accept it now."

"But I can't just sit here, Bobby. I can't just sit here and wait for him to get better because we don't even know if he ever will get better."

"Which is why we're all going to stay here and hope and pray that everything works out."

Sam let out a deep sigh. "I can't do this, Bobby," Sam said in defeat as he sat back down in his chair. "I can't sit here and watch him die."

"I know," Bobby said. He walked over and placed a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder.

"It's just— I can't watch him go through this anymore."

"You heard what that doctor said. Dean's not getting any worse. That at least means that all of the symptoms have stopped. It's probably because Dean and Cas were apart for so long," Bobby reasoned.

"You really think he's gonna make it out of this?" Sam asked.

"If anyone would be able to do it, it's your brother," Bobby said. "That kid's got more fight in him that anyone I know."

"I hope you're right, Bobby. I really do."

Satisfied that Sam had calmed down enough for now, Bobby went back to sit in his own chair. He took a deep breath. If he was honest, he was terrified that he was going to lose Dean. He really didn't want to go through that again, but someone had to be the rational one around here. Cas was definitely out of the question and Sam wasn't fairing much better, which left that responsibility completely to Bobby.

Sam, Bobby, and Cas turned around at the sound of another person entering the room, nearly an hour later. They had all assumed that it was Dr. Carroll back for another check up on Dean. Instead, they saw someone else entirely different.

"Gabriel?" Cas asked in shock.


	33. Chapter 33

_Sam, Bobby, and Cas turned around at the sound of another person entering the room, nearly an hour later. They had all assumed that it was Dr. Carroll back for another check up on Dean. Instead, they saw someone else entirely different._

_"Gabriel?" Cas asked in shock._

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sam asked. He had assumed that Gabriel was going to help him rescue Dean and then get out of there.

"Hello to you too," Gabriel retorted as he walked into the room, and took of the empty space around Dean's hospital bed.

"Gabriel? Why are you— How did you get out?" Cas asked.

"That's not important," Gabriel said in an attempt to deflect any questions. "All you need to know is that Michael and Raphael are taken care of."

"What do you mean 'taken care of'?" Sam asked suspiciously.

Gabriel sighed.

"Gabriel, what did you do?" Cas asked, worrying about what his brother actually did.

"Michael's in prison," Gabriel informed them.

"In prison?" Sam asked. "What do you mean in prison?"

"There's a prison for angels," Gabriel explained. "Basically, it's a place that angels can't escape from. They're sent there for a bunch reasons, mostly when they go against God's will."

"So, Michael can't escape and come and hurt Dean again?" Sam asked for clarification. He just had to be sure that Dean was completely in the clear and wouldn't be subjected to the archangel's plan anymore.

"Yeah," Gabriel said, nodding in confirmation.

"What about Raphael?" Cas asked. If both Michael and Raphael were locked in the prison, surely Gabriel would have said that initially.

Gabriel let out a deep sigh.

Cas's eyes widened as he realized what they meant. "He's dead?"

"Yeah," Gabriel said shortly.

"How?"

"I— I had no other choice," Gabriel explained.

"So you killed him?" Sam clarified.

"Is there something you guys aren't understanding?"

"But you killed him?" Cas asked. "Why didn't you lock him in prison with Michael?"

"I didn't have a choice. Either I stabbed him with an angel blade and killed him right then or they would have killed me and come back to Earth to finish off you and Dean."

Cas was quiet after Gabriel's explanation. Gabriel knew that Cas was conflicted about it. Cas didn't like killing anyone, but Gabriel knew that the reasonable and rational parts of Cas knew that Gabriel did the right thing.

"Well, um, I guess I owe you one," Sam said awkwardly. What were you supposed to say if someone risked everything to save your brother and his soulmate?

Gabriel shrugged. "How's Dean?"

"Not good," Bobby said, finally joining the conversation.

"I can't do anything, Gabriel," Cas said, knowing that he didn't have to elaborate much for Gabriel to understand what he meant.

Gabriel looked confused at Cas's admission. Instead of questioning his brother, Gabriel reached forward and placed a hand on Dean's forehead.

Everyone in the room waited with bated breath, staring hard at Gabriel and hoping that he, an archangel, would be able to do something.

Gabriel stared at Dean, his face focused in concentration and his hand not leaving Dean's forehead. After nearly a minute, Gabriel removed his hand, but remained silent.

"Well?" Sam asked. Gabriel was an archangel, he had to have been able to do something.

Gabriel shook his head slowly and silently.

"So you can't do anything either?" Sam asked, unable to comprehend what was happening.

"I'm sorry, Sam, but I just can't."

"What do you mean you just can't? We had Cas try and then you try, and still nothing! You're an archangel! You should be able to fix this!" Sam said, getting angrier with each sentence he spoke.

"I tried, Sam," Gabriel explained, turning to face the younger Winchester. "I risked everything to save your brother. I got him and Cas out of there and did everything I could, but I'm sorry, there's nothing else I can do."

"But you have to be able to do something." Sam was practically begging at this point. He would do anything to help his brother and get him out of this hospital.

"I just told you that I can't."

"But… But what are we going to do about Dean?"

"It's like I've been saying, Sam," Bobby said.

"Yeah, yeah. I know, Bobby. We just gotta wait it out."

"Exactly."

"But, just, think about it, Bobby," Sam started. "Cas can't fix him, Gabriel can't fix him, and he's not getting better. I can't just sit here!"

"You're just going to have to," Bobby said sternly. "And if you don't, I'm going to force you to sit there and wait."

"I'll sit and wait, but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna like it and not try and figure out something else to do."

"I'd be surprised if you didn't, but as long as you're sitting there," Bobby said.

Several minutes passed before anyone spoke again. "Hey, Gabriel?" Sam asked.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?" There was one thing that had been bothering Sam since all of this started back when Michael and Raphael had taken Cas the first time.

"Uh, sure."

"It's just, I can't stop wondering and thinking about it, and maybe Cas knows the answer, but I don't know," Sam started to say. "I just really wanted to know if… I mean do you…"

"Spit it out," Gabriel said.

"I—I was just wondering if you knew why Michael and Raphael actually took Dean," Sam asked quietly.

Gabriel let out a long sigh. "It's kinda a complicated answer."

"I got time."

"Well, you see, a long time ago, there were creatures called nephilims," Gabriel explained, glancing at Castiel to make sure that he wouldn't be upset when he explained this. Castiel hadn't even acknowledged Sam's question. In fact, it looked as if Castiel was in his own world because he definitely wasn't paying attention to the conversation between Sam and Gabriel.

"Nephilims?" Sam asked. He wasn't familiar with that word.

"Yeah, nephilims. Half human and half angel."

"So, what? They thought that Dean and Cas could create a nephilim?"

"They could. It's possible. In the past, there used to exist thousands of nephilims on Earth."

"What? What do you mean in the past? Did they like, go extinct or something?"

"Or something. Michael, always the jealous one, got angrier and angrier as more and more nephilims came into being. He always thought that angels should be rulers and that our Father loved angels the most. As more species came into being, Michael got nervous," Gabriel explained.

"Nervous that he would be replaced?" Sam questioned.

"Basically. He isn't too fond of anything that's not an angel, so in one of our Father's many absences, Michael took control. He said he was acting on our Father's orders and that he had ordered us to get rid of all of the nephilims. Angels aren't taught the concept of free will, so when they were told to go to Earth and destroy all of the nephilims, they didn't bat an eye. They just went and did as they were told."

"So all of the nephilims were killed?"

"Yeah."

"So how does my brother fit into all of that?"

"Michael saw the relationship between Dean and Cas and got nervous. It's a relationship between a human and an angel, which means another nephilim could be created and once that first one is created, who knows how many more will be created?"

"Uh, Gabriel, I don't know if you noticed this, but Cas and Dean are both guys," Sam said awkwardly.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "You humans always think that just because it works one way for your species, it has to work the same way for all other species."

"Wait. What?"

"It doesn't matter for nephilim. They're created through the bonding of human and angel grace."

"So, what they just kind of spring up?" Sam asked.

"Essentially. I could explain it further, but you probably wouldn't understand most of it, so let's just say yes. Nephilim just come into being after the bonding of human and angel grace."

"And by the bonding of human and angel grace, you mean sex?" Sam clarified.

"Yes, although not necessarily, but for simplicity, let's just say yes."

"But they've had tons of sex before. I'm pretty sure we would have noticed a nephilim walking around."

"It doesn't happen every time," Gabriel explained, trying not to get annoyed with all of the questions Sam was asking. "It's like with humans. They don't get pregnant every time they have sex."

"Ok. I think I get," Sam said. "Basically, Michael was scared that Dean and Cas would create a nephilim and then God would love these nephilim more than him?"

"Yeah."

"That is…" Sam trailed off.

"I know, but you shouldn't have to worry about it anymore," Gabriel said.

"Thanks again," Sam said, after a moment of silence.

Sam took a deep breath before returning to his seat at the side of Dean's bed, trying to wrap his head around what Gabriel had just told him. It was a lot to take in, but there was some comfort in the fact that Gabriel had locked Michael away so that they wouldn't have to deal with this anymore.

Gabriel didn't stay much longer and was gone before Dr. Carroll came back for another check up on Dean. Sam, Cas, and Bobby remained with him, not moving in case there would be some kind of change.

As the days passed, it became harder and harder for the two men and angel who remained in Dean's room. While Dean didn't get worse, he wasn't necessarily getting better. Dr. Carroll had assured them that Dean was making improvements, albeit very slow improvements.

Sam found it hard to believe Dr. Carroll since he couldn't see any of these changes in Dean, but he knew he had to take Dr. Carroll's word for it. It was the only thing that kept him going through these rough days. But even with Dr. Carroll's attempt at encouraging thoughts, Sam still found it hard. They had been here for several days, so many that Sam wasn't even sure how many days had passed since they had first brought Dean here.

But Sam couldn't shake the feeling that something bad had happened in heaven. Why other explanation could there be? Dean wasn't waking up and Cas couldn't do anything. Even though Cas and Gabriel swore that they couldn't detect anything out of the ordinary, Sam was convinced that Michael and Raphael did something to Dean while they held him captive.

These thoughts made Sam furious. He was constantly tempted to call Gabriel and force him to take him to heaven so he could get the answers out of Michael. However, Sam knew that that was out of the question. There was nothing that Sam would be able to do that would force an archangel to tell the truth and admit to what he did. Plus, part of Sam knew that he wouldn't be able to convince Gabriel to take him. Cas definitely wouldn't since he was focused solely on Dean. And Gabriel kept saying how much he risked by taking Sam to heaven the first time. It was unlikely that he was going to take Sam again.

Michael was probably sitting in that cell in heaven, extremely pleased with himself with what he had done. Of course, Sam could never be completely sure, but it was a theory he was sticking to. Maybe he would abandon it if Dean ever got better, but Sam was having issues seeing it. So for now, Sam maintained that Michael and Raphael did something to Dean in heaven.

As the hours and the days passed by, Sam continued to let these thoughts fill his mind, angering him more and driving him to find a way to get revenge. He knew that it was highly unlikely that he would ever get revenge, but that didn't stop Sam from planning ways to get it.

Bobby was doing slightly better than Sam, but not by much. He was terrified that he was going to lose Dean again, something that he really didn't even want to think about happening. Going through Dean's death was bad enough the first time around. Bobby didn't think he would make it through a second time. He knew that there was no way Sam was going to be able to pull it together, which just made everything worse. Bobby knew that he would barely be able to take care of himself, let alone a grieving Sam.

Cas didn't move from his spot. He remained frozen in place near the head of Dean's bed. His hand remained firmly placed on Dean's shoulder, hoping with everything he had that he would eventually be able to get through to Dean and be able to use his abilities as an angel to heal Dean. A large part of him felt like he failed Dean. He was an angel and so much more powerful than humans, and yet, here was Dean Winchester, lying in a hospital bed because he couldn't do enough. He was supposed to protect Dean. Isn't that what human soulmates did? Protect each other? If that was the case, Cas certainly felt like he had failed and now, he wasn't sure if he was going to get a second chance to redeem himself.

It was several days before there was any noticeable change in Dean. Finally, Sam noticed a change. Dean's eyes started to flutter open.


	34. Chapter 34

Dean's eyes slowly fluttered open, but closed firmly tight again as a result of the harsh, blinding light of the hospital room. Keeping his eyes shut as tight as he could, he groaned quietly. Cas, Bobby, and Sam, who had all remained virtually silent for the past few days immediately sat up a little straighter and looked toward Dean.

"Dean?" Sam asked hopefully, not realizing that that was the first time that he had actually said something to his brother in days and that this time his brother might actually respond to him.

Sam's question was met with another soft groan. Sam's eyes widened in shock as he stood up. Dean was waking up!

"Dean!" Cas said urgently.

"Come on, Dean. Can you open your eyes?"

Dean tried to open his eyes again, but he had barely had them open for a second when the close sharply against the harsh light of the hospital room.

"Get the lights," Sam said to Bobby, not taking his eyes off of his brother. Bobby quickly did as he was told before returning to the bed and pressing the call button for the doctor. Sam was too preoccupied to think about that and Cas probably didn't realize that he was supposed to do it. Bobby was just as anxious as Sam and Cas, but was so much better at hiding it. "Ok, Dean. The lights are off, can you open your eyes now?"

Very slowly, Dean's eyes opened. "Oh my God!" Sam said, letting out a huge breath of relief. For the first time in over a week, Sam finally believed that his brother was going to be ok. "Holy shit, Dean."

"Cas?" Dean asked weakly.

"I'm right here, Dean," Cas said, leaving his hand on Dean's shoulder, but moving slightly so that Dean could actually see him.

"Cas," Dean breathed, exhaustion seeping through his voice.

Before anyone could say anything else, Dr. Carroll came into the room, surprised at what he saw. "Mr. Winchester," Dr. Carroll greeted. "You're awake."

Dean grunted in response, not having enough strength to say much more. His eyelids felt like the weighed three tons and were threatening to close at any second. Dr. Carroll must have noticed this because he said, "Can you keep your eyes open for just a little bit longer? Then you can sleep."

Dean groaned, but did as he was told. He wasn't entirely sure where he was or who was telling him this, but for whatever reason, Dean obeyed. Cas stayed in his line of sight and that helped. For some reason, he felt that he hadn't seen Cas is a very long time. He tried to remember what had happened, but couldn't remember anything. In fact, he was having problems thinking about anything at all. He just wanted to go back to sleep, but only if he knew that Cas would still be here when he woke up.

"Dean? Are you with me?" Dr. Carroll asked. Dean hadn't even realized that the guy was talking again.

"Mmmm."

"I was just saying that this is fantastic news. We're going to keep an eye on you for awhile yet, but you're doing remarkably well," Dr. Carroll said. He would have said more, but he noticed that Dean's eyes were drooping and he wouldn't be able to keep Dean's attention for much longer. He wasn't sure that he even had much of it to start out with. "Dean, you can go to sleep now."

Dean didn't think twice. At Dr. Carroll's words, Dean's eye fell shut and stayed shut. Within seconds, Dean's breathing had evened out and Dean was fast asleep.

"So you really think he's gonna be ok?" Sam asked, still slightly skeptical. He was exponentially more hopeful than he had been this morning, but he was still incredibly worried.

"The fact that he woke up is excellent news," Dr. Carroll said. "While we can't be entirely sure, because there's been no documented cases, I think that we can assume that Dean is moving into a much better position. The next few days will be critical. We'll be monitoring his progress more, now that he's woken up."

"Ok," Sam said as he nodded. "But you really think he's gonna be ok?"

"We can't be completely sure, but it's looking a lot better than it was earlier today."

Sam took a deep breath as he let Dr. Carroll's words sink in. Dean might just actually make it out of this alive.

"Ok, so if no one has any other questions, I'm going to leave you." Dr. Carroll's words were met by silence. "Ok then. I'll be back periodically to see how he's doing." Dr. Carroll took one last look at Dean before turning around and heading out the door.

Once Dr. Carroll was safely out of the room, Bobby let out deep breath. "Well, that's good."

"Yeah, but there's still a chance that he isn't going to make it," Sam retorted.

"But he woke up and that's something. You gotta take the small victories."

"I know," Sam sighed.

"But?" Bobby prompted, getting the feeling that Sam still had something to say.

"But nothing, Bobby," Sam said. "There's nothing else to say. I mean, Dean woke up and that's great, but we still don't know what's going on. Cas has been sitting there for how many days and we still don't really know."

"I know, kid, but Dean's a fighter."

"You keep saying that! And yeah, Dean is a fighter, but what good is that? We still don't know anything!" Sam said angrily. He knew that Bobby was doing what he could to comfort him, but nothing that Bobby was saying was really doing anything. All Sam wanted was to know for certain if Dean would be ok. He absolutely hated this waiting. He had spent way to much time waiting for Dean in hospitals.

Bobby stood up and looked directly at Sam. "I get that you're frustrated. We all are, but there ain't no reason for you to get mad at me."

Sam shrunk back immediately, knowing that he had crossed the line with Bobby. "I'm sorry," Sam said quietly and apologetically. "I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"Good. Now sit there and be there for your brother," Bobby ordered. Sam was quiet and Bobby took his seat.

Several minutes passed before anyone said anything. "You know," Bobby said. "I remember when you were about fifteen and you boys were staying with me."

Sam looked at Bobby, wondering where he was going with that story. That time wasn't the first time dad had dropped him and Dean off with Bobby. Ever since they first met Bobby, they were usually by him at least once a year, even if it was only for a night. Although, there were a couple of times that they were around long enough to enroll in school there.

Both Sam and Dean had enjoyed the time they got to spend there. Dean loved working on the cars in the salvage yard, while Sam was immersed in Bobby's large collection of books.

"Your dad was dead set on taking you boys to hunt a werewolf," Bobby said, pulling Sam from his thoughts. "And you were dead set about not going."

Sam distinctly remembered that particular fight with his dad. They had had countless fights when Sam was a teenager but that fight was one of the worst ones. Sam had argued that he should be able to go and be a normal teenager and hang out with his friends, but his dad said differently and told him that it didn't matter what he said, he was still going on that hunt. Needless to say, Sam, Dean, and John's focus was not completely on the hunt that night. Sam and John were furious with each other and Dean was trying to stay out of the argument. The lack of focus had disastrous consequences.

"I remember trying to convince your dad that you shouldn't go, but that bastard never listened. He kept saying that it would be good for you. That you needed the experience or some shit like that," Bobby explained. "But it didn't matter what I said. He still took both of you boys on that hunt. And then a few hours later, I got a call from Dean. Couldn't even understand what he was trying to say, he was panicking so much. Somehow I was able to get what hospital outta Dean and told him that I would be there soon. Still don't know how I was able to get anything out of your brother."

Sam's eyes moved from Dean to Bobby as Bobby continued his story.

"Anyway, I got to the hospital. Dean was in the waiting room, covered from head to toe in mud and dirt. I got no idea how your brother survived those few minutes by himself. It had only taken me about ten minutes to get to that hospital, granted I had to break a few speed limits in the process. But he was completely panicked and had no clue what was going on. Even when I tried to ask him about it, he couldn't really answer me that well. I eventually was able to get most of what happened out of him. The werewolf attacked and got you in the process. He ran over to you and get you out of there while John went after the damn thing," Bobby spat, clearly disgusted that John had put hunting a supernatural creature over taking care of his own son.

"And Dean brought me to the hospital," Sam said, finishing Bobby's thoughts.

"And your dad tried to tear him a new one for abandoning him without any back up."

"Tried to? I didn't know that."

"Yeah, well, I may have stepped in there before it got too bad, but he tried. But Dean brought you here and didn't know what to do."

"So Dean called you."

"Wasn't the first time," Bobby commented. "Kid called more than once cause he ran into trouble. But I sat with him and calmed him down. The kid had worked himself up so much, it was a wonder I was even able to calm him down. He would always get so worked up about anything that would happen to you. You had a fever, he was there to help bring it down. You had some kinda nightmare, he was there trying to comfort you. You had a sneeze, he was right there with a tissue. Never seen anyone care for someone like that, especially not a kid."

Sam looked down fondly at his brother. He really took him for granted a lot of the time, especially when they were growing up. They didn't have a mom and their dad had all but checked out after their mom died. Dean stepped up the plate and did everything for him. "Yeah," Sam agreed, finding himself unable to elaborate much more. How did was he supposed express in words what Dean had done for him?

Both men were silent for a few moments. Finally Sam asked, "That's great, Bobby, but what does that have to do with right now?"

"Look, your brother's been in this same position a bunch of times, and he's spent plenty of times freaking out in hospitals, just like you're doing now."

"So, basically, you want me to think about what Dean's done for me?"

"No. It was just something I was thinking about," Bobby said, with a smile. "And it took your mind of Dean in the hospital for a while, didn't it?"

Sam gave a small laugh. "I guess it did, Bobby. Thanks."


	35. Chapter 35

Now that Dean had woken up a few times, he was becoming more and more alert and staying awake for longer periods of time. He was also becoming more coherent to the point where he could actually hold conversations with Sam, Bobby, and Cas. These conversations, weren't particularly long, but with every conversation, Sam and Bobby became more and more optimistic that Dean would eventually be released from the hospital. Dr. Carroll was also more optimistic, although he was confused as to why Dean was doing so well. Sam and Bobby theorized that Dr. Carroll assumed that Dean's soulmate had passed away. That would have been the only explanation since, as far as Dr. Carroll knew, Dean's soulmate never came to be with him.

Currently, Dean was awake after sleeping for nearly another eight hours. Now that he had actually been able to hold conversations, he was itching to have a conversation with Cas. Well, he had had conversations with Cas, but he wanted one where it was just Cas. No Sam and no Bobby. Just Cas. But getting Sam out of the room would be a very, very difficult task. He had been hovering ever since he first woke up in the hospital and Dean was sure that Sam had been there long before he woke up.

The biggest problem was that Dean still didn't entirely know what had happened. He had asked both Sam and Bobby, but they both beat around the bush instead of giving him a straight answer. All they had told him was that he and Cas had been apart for several days because of two archangels. Dean had asked them to elaborate on it and give him something more, but neither of them seemed too keen on going into more details. Instead, they just continued to tell him that everything was taken care of and that he didn't have to worry about anything, which was an answer that just wasn't sitting well with him. He wanted, no needed, to know what had happened. Getting Cas alone was the only way that that was going to happen.

So finally, Dean asked Sam and Bobby for a few minutes with Cas. Both seemed hesitant to let Dean out of their sight, but eventually agreed. Sam and Bobby left the room, Dean remained in his hospital bed and Cas stayed seated in the same chair that he had been in since he first arrived at the hospital.

Dean and Cas sat in an awkward silence for a minute. Cas didn't know why Dean wanted to be alone with him and Dean was still figuring out a way to ask Cas about what he wanted to know.

"Uh, Dean?" Cas finally asked. "Why did you want Sam and Bobby to leave?"

"Um," Dean said. "Well, they won't tell me. I want to know what happened."

"Sam and Bobby told you. I was there when they explained it," Cas responded.

"No. They gave me the watered down version. I want to know what really happened and I know that you know, so you better tell me."

Cas sighed. "Michael and Raphael are my brothers."

"Wait—what? Your brothers did this?"

"Yes. Since my Father left, Michael has assumed leadership in heaven. There were things that we were doing that he didn't like, so he ordered the changes."

"And I'm guessing that one of the things he didn't like was you and me?"

"Essentially. Michael absolutely hated the idea of any angel being involved with a human, so he took it upon himself to put a stop to it. He had Raphael's help of course, as well as some of the more loyal angels."

"So what? He took us both and kept us apart."

"Yes. I don't know what you remember, Dean."

Dean was silent for a short moment. "Nothing," Dean responded, hesitantly. He had been going through his brain, any time he was awake, but he had no memory of what happened, no matter how much he tried to remember. Admitting was even worse because it was almost as if he was accepting defeat, something that definitely did not come easy for Dean. Maybe it had to do with the values his Dad had instilled in him. Sure, they definitely weren't the worst values to instill in a child, but they were the values that were instilled in Dean. Family is everything, always hide your emotions, protect Sammy. The list went on and on.

"It's ok if you don't remember anything," Cas said comfortingly.

"But I feel like I should. I mean it was bad enough to land me here and I can't remember a damn thing!"

Cas didn't know what to say. He didn't necessarily understand Dean's frustration, but he still wanted to be able to do something. "It's ok to not remember," Cas said gently. Maybe if he said it enough the message would actually sink in.

"Keep saying that all you want," Dean snapped. "But you aren't the one who has been laying in a hospital bed for the last how many days because of something you can't even remember! Do you have any idea how that feels?"

"No," Cas said honestly. "I don't know how it feels, but I have been sitting in this room for almost as long as you have been in it. I haven't left your side. I sat here not knowing if you were going to be ok or if what my brothers did was going to cause some kind of lasting damage to you. I may not have been in that bed and I may be able to remember everything, but I still didn't know what was going to happen. I tried to fix you, but I couldn't. Even Gabriel tried to fix you."

"Who's Gabriel?"

"One of my brothers. He found Sam and took him to heaven to help rescue you," Cas explained.

"So at least not all of your brothers are dicks?"

"I suppose, but that's not the point, Dean. Gabriel and I both tried to heal you but we couldn't. It terrified me. I was more scared than I have ever been," Cas admitted.

"But I'm ok now," Dean tried to reason and make Cas feel better. Dean knew that it wasn't Cas's fault, but Cas was clearly upset that he wasn't able to heal Dean.

"Yes, but we didn't know if you were going to be ok. We just had to sit here and wait. It was hard on all of us. Bobby and Sam, Sam especially, had troubles with the news," Cas explained.

"What did he do?" Dean asked, unsure if he really wanted to know the answer to that question.

"He yelled at Bobby a lot. I don't even know if he knows that I did hear every word. I didn't say much, but I still heard everything. Bobby would usually be able to calm Sam down."

"But Sam still yelled at Bobby?"

"Yes, he yelled a lot. Usually because your doctor didn't know what was happening and Sam got angry. I think he believed that your doctor should have answers and he didn't. The waiting was hard on all of us, but I think it really took its toll on Sam."

"The kid's been through a lot," Dean commented.

"And so have you."

Dean remained silent. He didn't like to think about the things that he had been through. Everyone, especially people like Sam and Bobby, told him that he was so strong for doing everything he did, but that wasn't true. He just did what he had to do. Anyone in his position would have done the same. He did what he had to do to survive. Sometimes that meant hand to hand combat and fights with guns, other times it meant writing some fake name on his wrist with a Sharpie, and other times it meant comforting Sammy and trying to hold his family together. The list went on and on, but Dean forced those thoughts from his head. It didn't matter. He was nothing special and he wished that people would stop trying to convince him otherwise. He knew the truth. If only other people would accept it too.

"Dean?" Cas prompted, after a moment.

"Yeah," he responded. "It's not like I can go anywhere."

"Why would you go somewhere?" Cas asked, confusion written all over his face.

Dean let out a weak chuckle. "Don't worry about it."

Cas, unsure of how to respond, remained silent. Dean, on the other hand, didn't feel much like talking. He was buried too deep in his own thoughts.

"How you doing?" Bobby asked when he walked into the room a short time later.

"I'm fine, Bobby," Dean said, although he was pretty sure that Bobby was able to see through it.

Bobby looked skeptical, but decided not to press the matter, something Dean was incredibly thankful for. He wasn't quite sure he was ready to talk quite yet.

After his conversation with Cas, Dean wasn't sure how he felt. Sam, Bobby, and Cas had all told him how lucky he was to be alive. But after hearing about everything that everyone else went through because of him, Dean wasn't so sure. Feelings of guilt filled his mind. If it wasn't for him, Cas wouldn't have been taken and nearly killed and Sam and Bobby wouldn't have had to spend those days looking food him and worrying about him.

The two men and angel sat in an uncomfortable silence for some time, since no one really knew what to say.

Dr. Carroll had stopped by again to check on Dean's progress. He was incredibly pleased with the results and seemed to be more optimistic with each passing day that Dean would make a full recovery. Bobby and Cas seemed to take this to mean good news, but Dean remained very quiet through the whole thing, still unsure of how he should be feeling.

After Dr. Carroll left, Bobby sent Cas away, telling him to go find Sam. Cas looked at Bobby strangely. "You can find Sam," Cas said to Bobby. "I'll stay with Dean."

"You've been here this whole time," Bobby reasoned. "Take a break and stretch your legs. I can watch Dean."

"I don't need anyone to watch me," Dean snapped.

"Maybe not, but sitting here by yourself ain't that much fun."

"Bobby, I can stay here."

"I'll make sure nothing happens to him. Take a break, find Sam, do something," Bobby insisted.

Cas still looked skeptical, but Bobby kept insisting until Cas finally agreed (with a promise from Dean that he would be ok) to take a short break.

"So," Bobby said, when Cas finally left the room. "You wanna tell me what's going on?"

"Nothing's going on."

"Oh right. You've just decided to go all quiet after talking with Cas by yourself."

Dean glared at Bobby. "There's nothing going on."

"That's a load of crap and you know it. So, let's try this again. What's going on in that thick skull of yours?"

Dean remained silent and turned his head away from Bobby. He still wasn't sure how he felt about everything, but he knew that he definitely didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm guessing Cas told you all of the details about when you were gone," Bobby suggested.

Dean's silence was all the confirmation that Bobby needed to know that was what happened.

"And now, you're feeling like all this is your fault."

"Well it is," Dean snapped firmly. "If it wasn't for me, Cas would have never been taken. You and Sam wouldn't have had to worry and spend all this time sitting over my death bed. How is any of this  _not_  my fault?!"

"Boy, that couldn't be further from the truth."

"Oh yeah? Explain it to me then."

"You're right," Bobby said calmly. "We didn't enjoy sitting here for a week and not knowing what was going to happen. But we did it because that's what family does. You get through all this hard stuff together. You wanna sit there and wallow in self pity? Go for it. No one's stopping you. But just know that no one blames you for what happened."

"I would," Dean mumbled.

"Boy, you need to get it through that thick skull of yours that you can't be responsible for everything that goes wrong. Sam and I were worried, but that's because we care about you. If it was Sam, you would have sat here at his bedside worrying about him too. He cares about you just as much as you care about him. And Cas? He knows his brothers are a bunch of jackasses. It has nothing to do with you."

"Whatever you say, Bobby," Dean replied dryly. Bobby, Sam, and Cas could believe what they wanted, but that didn't mean that Dean couldn't see things for what they really were. It was his fault that all of this happened. If he had just been born with a name, like a normal person, everything would be just fine.


	36. Chapter 36

Dean was finally released from the hospital nearly three weeks after he was first brought there by Sam and Bobby. Despite Dean's protests, Dr. Carroll had insisted on keeping Dean for observations for a few more days, even though the majority of Dean's symptoms were gone.

Dean couldn't wait to get out of the hospital, so when Dr. Carroll first suggested that Dean's vitals were looking good and that he could be released soon, Dean asked every single time Dr. Carroll visited if he could be released. Each time, Dean's request was met with a no and an insistence that he just wanted to make sure that there would be no lingering side effects after the lengthy hospital stay.

Bobby eventually got annoyed with Dean's constant badgering about being released that he finally talked to Dr. Carroll outside of Dean's room and told the doctor flat out that if he couldn't find anything wrong with Dean, he either needed to release Dean or he and Sam would let Dean sign out AMA. Later that day, Dr. Carroll showed up in Dean's room with the release papers.

"I have to say, I still can't explain it," Dr. Carroll said as he flipped through the notes he had made throughout Dean's stay. "There's nothing that we can find that can explain why all of this happened.

"But everything's fine?" Sam asked. After everything they had just been through, Sam had to be sure that his brother was going to be ok. "He's going to be ok?"

"All of his vitals look good, so unless there is something that Dean's not telling us," Dr. Carroll said, hoping to prompt Dean to admitting that there was some kind of secret that he was keeping.

All eyes turned to Dean. "I'm fine," Dean insisted. Everyone's eyes, except Dr. Carroll's, remained on Dean. Sam, Bobby, and Cas all knew about Dean's strong tendency to lie about how he was really feeling. "I'm fine. I mean, yeah, my wrist is still a little sore, but I'm fine," Dean promised. "I swear. Now, can we please just get out of here?"

Dr. Carroll chuckled. "He's not very patient, is he?"

"'He' is sitting right here and would like to get out of this hospital," Dean grumbled, wishing everyone would just hurry up. He had always hated hospitals, ever since he could remember. He remembered all the times he had spent in doctor's offices growing up because of his empty wrist. Then once his dad had started hunting, hospitals became an even more regular occurrence. Now, he had just spent almost a whole month as a patient in a hospital and he wanted nothing more than to just get out. Even one of the sleazy motel rooms that they normally stayed in would be a welcome change at this point.

"I'm sorry, Dean. But looking at your charts, it looks like everything is ok."

"So, I'm officially free to go?" Dean asked as he started to stand up from the bed. As soon as Dr. Carroll gave the ok, he was going to march his way straight out of this hospital and never look back.

"Just take it easy," Dr. Carroll warned. There were a few more things he had to say before he could let Dean leave. "There hasn't been a lot of medical research done on soulmates, purely because of ethical reasons. I don't know of anyone who has survived this long without having their soulmate. I don't think anyone in the medical profession does."

Everyone in the room went silent. Dean suddenly found something very interesting with the floor and refused to look up. Dr. Carroll didn't need to know about the chaos that surrounded Dean's soulmate. Dean wanted to push everything that happened as back in his mind as he possibly could. Everything that had happened with Michael and Raphael was done and he really, really didn't want to think about that anymore.

Dr. Carroll sensed the awkwardness in the room and continued. "If you feel like anything is changing, I want you to come straight back here or to at least go and see another doctor. There's no telling what kind of effects all that time away from your soulmate will bring."

"I'll keep that in mind," Dean said. "Is that it? Can I go now?"

"Good luck, Dean," Dr. Carroll said, extending his hand.

Dean reached out his own hand and shook Dr. Carroll's. "Thanks," Dean said sincerely. As much as he wanted to get out of the hospital, he knew he had to at least say thank you to his doctor. If it wouldn't have been for Dr. Carroll, there's no telling what would have happened to him. Cas hadn't been able to heal him, and neither had Gabriel, which meant that Dean was forced to rely on the knowledge of human doctors. Thankfully, Dr. Carroll was willing to work with Dean through all of it.

"Yeah, thanks, Doc," Sam said. He, too, also was thankful for Dr. Carroll. Without this doctor, Sam may have had to bury his brother again, but that was a thought that Sam tried to keep as far out of his brain as he could. He didn't want to relive that particular memory any time soon.

"Well, I do have other patients to attend to," Dr. Carroll said. "Take it easy, Dean. I mean it. Nurse Leah will show you out."

"Got it," Dean said before Dr. Carroll walked out of the room.

"Ready to go Dean?" Leah asked.

"I wish people would stop asking me that and just let me leave already."

Leah giggled. "Come on. This way."

Leah led the group down the hallway and out to the hospital parking lot. Sam ran out ahead in front of the group to bring the Impala up the hospital doors.

"Oh, Baby. Did they take good care of you?" Dean asked as he took a step toward the Impala. He reached out a hand and slowly dragged it against the Impala's sleek frame.

After a moment, Sam cleared his throat. "Any time you're ready."

"Yeah. Let's get out of here," Dean said. "Can I drive?"

"Didn't Dr. Carroll just tell you to take it easy?" Sam asked.

"I've just spent way too much time in a hospital. You gotta cut me some slack," Dean protested. "I haven't been able to drive my own car for almost a month. Do you have any idea what that's like?"

"No, because we just have the Impala and you are dead set against me only driving it in emergencies."

Dean smirked. "Sammy—"

"Just get in," Bobby ordered. "I'll meet you boys back in Sioux Falls?"

"Yep. See you there," Sam said.

Reluctantly, Dean got in the passenger seat as Cas got in and slid across the back seat.

Sam put the car in drive, and pulled out of the hospital without a look back. This was one experience he definitely would like to forget.

"So am I missing something?" Dean asked.

"What do you mean?" Sam responded, taking a quick glance over at his brother.

"We're going to Sioux Falls?"

"Yeah, Bobby offered to let us stay with him for awhile and I took him up on the offer."

"Sam, we can't do that."

"Why not?"

"He just put up with all my crap in the hospital. We can't just go and drop in on him like that."

"He seems to think that it would be good for you, and I agree."

"What do you mean it will be good for me?" Dean asked hotly. "I'm fine. You heard Dr. Carroll."

"And apparently you missed Dr. Carroll saying that you should take it easy," Sam retorted. "So that's what we're going to do. We can go by Bobby and just take it easy for awhile."

"Fine, but we're not staying any longer than we need to."

"Whatever you say," Sam responded, not taking his eyes off the road.

Sam, Dean, and Cas rode in near silence for almost an hour. The only sound to keep them company was Dean's music coming from the Impala's radio. Sam had tried to argue that he was driving and he should therefore be able to pick the music, but Dean protested saying ti was his car and that he should be able to pick the music after sitting in the hospital for so long.

"In case you forgot, I sat in that hospital for the same amount of time as you did," Sam retorted.

"Yeah, but you were actually able to leave. I didn't have a choice. They kept me prisoner and forced me to eat terrible food," Dean said dramatically. "And it's still my car, so I pick the music."

"So that rule, what was it? 'Driver picks the music, shotgun shut's his cake hole' doesn't apply anymore?"

"Sam," Cas interrupted. "I think you should let Dean pick the music."

"Ha!" Dean yelled triumphantly as he shoved a tape into the cassette player. "Two against one, Sammy."

Sam smirked, but didn't argue it. He was always going to let Dean pick his music. But Dean was his brother and sometimes, Sam had to mess with him.

"So whaddya think?" Dean asked after they had been on the road for a while. "I'm feeling like burgers and beer."

"You're always feeling like burgers and beer," Sam commented.

"Yeah, but I just spent nearly a month in the hospital. I want some decent food for once. Do you have any idea how bad that food was?"

"I've been in hospitals before, Dean. I know how bad it is."

"No, but this stuff was really bad. I don't know what they did to it, but there is no way that that crap could be considered food."

"Whoa, it must be bad for you to say that. You'll eat anything," Sam joked.

"Very funny. But seriously, Sam. We just passed a sign for a diner up ahead. Yup, it's just that right turn up there."

"We can stop later," Sam said as he tried to continue to stay focused on the road in front of him. "I just want to get us a bit farther first."

Dean was quiet for nearly a minute before he asked again, "But seriously, how much longer til we stop? I'm hungry."

"Glad to know that some things haven't changed," Sam commented. "I told you, we can stop later."

"But I'm hungry now," Dean complained. "I just spent the last month on really shitty food. Come on, Sam. You're seriously going to keep depriving me more? Just pull over somewhere. My treat."

"Yeah?" Sam asked. "With what money?"

Dean muttered something under his breath that Sam couldn't quite catch before he turned and stared out the window silently. He didn't speak again until Sam finally pulled into a small diner just off the highway nearly an hour later. The group ate a quick meal before getting back in the Impala and back on the highway and speeding toward Sioux Falls.

Sam pulled into Bobby's salvage yard and put the car in park. Finally, they were back. Everyone needed to get out of the car and stretch after being trapped in there for the last few hours. It also felt good in other ways, because it now meant that Dean was healthy and he was going to be ok after everything that just happened. Sam and Dean walked toward the house with Cas following close behind, anxious to get some sleep and rest peacefully for the first time in almost a month.


	37. Chapter 37

Dean jerked awake as he felt something poke into his back. He rolled over to see his three year old daughter looking up at him with her big green eyes. "Daddy?" she asked quietly.

"What's up, Lily?" Dean asked groggily.

"I can't sleep."

Dean groaned inwardly. He wanted nothing more than to roll back over and go back to sleep, but he knew that with his daughter wide awake, he didn't really have a choice. "Ok," Dean mumbled as he pushed back the covers and tried to wipe the sleep from his eyes. He glanced at the clock. 5:04 am. Didn't three year olds understand the concept of sleeping in? Or at the very least, sleeping until the sun was actually up?

Dean swung his legs over the side of the bed and picked up Lily. "You couldn't sleep a little bit longer?" he asked.

"I'm not sleepy anymore."

"Of course you're not," Dean muttered. "Come on."

He carried Lily into the living room, hoping that he could keep her entertained with a movie long enough for him to get an extra hour of sleep. Normally, he wouldn't complain, but last night, he and Cas had spent quite a lot of time together. Sam and Molly had offered to take Lily for awhile and he and Cas had decided to make the most of that short time alone.

Dean popped in one of the Disney movies and settled onto the couch with Lily. The movie wasn't even through the opening credits before Dean was asleep again.

"Daddy?"

Dean jerked awake for the second time this morning. "What?"

"The movie's over."

"Oh." Sure enough, the end credits were rolling.

"Daddy? I'm hungry," Lily said.

"So let's go make some breakfast, ok?" Dean asked, feeling much more awake than he did when Lily had first woken him up over an hour ago.

"Can we have waffles?"

"As long as we actually have some."

Thankfully, they had waffles and Dean was able to avoid an early morning tantrum.

"Daddy? Where's Papa?" Lily asked through a mouthful of waffle.

"He has to do some stuff in heaven," Dean explained. It wasn't anything unusual. Cas spent as much of his time on Earth as he could, but there were some times where he just had to be in heaven.

"Oh. When's he gonna be back?"

"Probably later this morning."

"Then can we go to the park?" Lily asked excitedly.

"We'll see," Dean responded.

After Lily was done eating, Dean told her to go wash her hands and face. "They're all full of syrup. Now go wash up," Dean said as he moved the dishes from the table to the sink and started cleaning up.

"Daddy?" Lily asked as she skipped back into the kitchen.

"What's up?"

"What's this?" Lily asked, holding up her arm for Dean to look at.

"It's your arm."

"No, Daddy. What's on it? See, right here?" Lily said, point to some black writing on her wrist.

Dean swallowed hard. He knew there was going to be a day when Lily asked about it, but he hoped that he would have some more time before he actually had to explain it. He crouched down to her level. "It's the name of your soulmate," Dean explained slowly.

"What's a soulmate?" Lily asked, repeating the unfamiliar word slowly.

"It's the person you're going to fall in love with some day," Dean said.

"Oh. Like you and Papa?"

"Yeah," Dean smiled. "Like me and Papa."

Lily twisted her head trying to see Dean's wrist. She frowned. "There's no writing on your arm."

"I know."

"Why?"

"Because Papa's an angel. So it means that I didn't have anything on my wrist. But you have a name and Uncle Sam has a name," Dean explained.

"And Auntie Molly?" Lily asked.

"And Auntie Molly. Everyone has a name on their wrist."

"But you don't," Lily said, her eyebrows knitted in confusion.

Dean thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain this to a three year old. His mom had been able to explain it to him, and that was without knowing how everything was going to turn out. So why was Dean struggling so much to explain this to his own daughter? "No," Dean finally said. "But you do, and that's more important." When he and Cas had had Lily, the first thing Dean had done was look for a name on her wrist. He didn't want his child to have to experience the same things that he did. Thankfully, Lily had a name on her wrist and Dean was able to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Ok. Can we go play now?"

Dean smiled and said, "Let me finish cleaning up the kitchen and then we can. Ok? You can go ahead already."

Dean watched her skip off toward the living room, happy that she would have some chance of fitting in with other kids. She was a nephilim, but currently she seemed to be much more human than angel. Dean didn't know if that would change, but it didn't really matter. Lily was happy and so was he.

* * *

"Lily asked about soulmates today," Dean said. He and Cas were curled up together in their bed now that Lily was finally asleep for the night.

"What did you tell her?"

"Just the basics. She doesn't need to know about all of the other stuff yet, you know?"

"She's going to find out some day," Cas reminded him.

"I know," Dean sighed. "But right now, she's three and she doesn't need to know about any of that."

Both Dean and Cas were silent for a moment. "I'm just glad she has a name," Dean said softly.

"I know," Cas said.

"I just didn't want her to have to grow up and deal with the same shit that I did. No should should have to."

"I know, but you did and I'm so proud of you."

Dean leaned over and pressed his lips to Cas's. Even after all theses years together, kissing Cas felt right. And now, for the first time, Dean could say that he was happy. Up until this point in his life, Dean didn't think that being happy was even in the cards for him. He was convinced that the world was out to get him. But now, in this moment, things were perfect and Dean was happy.


End file.
